Just Hikaru
by oOoIZZYoOo
Summary: The graveyard felt very cold to Hikaru that night. Though he thought no one understood, he forgot that one woman had lost another as well. With his Brother gone what will become of Hikaru and the host club? How can Hikaru be a twin without a sibling?
1. The Twin Without A Sibling

The rain poured down hard that day. The priest was nearly inaudible over the harsh pounding of the droplets of rain against the metal roofs that sheltered the group of men and women. They blended in perfectly with the dreary scenery, with their thick black dresses and suits. No one dared to make a sound except for the constant speech of the holy man who was now reciting prayers in Latin. Had it been any other occasion, the language would have sounded sweet and swift with the priest's large, booming voice, but today everything in the world just seemed bland.

No emotions showed themselves during the ceremony; stone cold faces of business men watched without depression or remorse, classmates had long ago been driven out of the sacred burial spot, and friends hid their faces with top hats and long veils. Not that it mattered; the rain that poured down so heavily that it hid any tears on their faces, and for that they were grateful.

Even Honey, who would have usually sobbed at the slightest annoyance, stood emotionless and cold, his little muscles so tense that he could have been mistaken for a statue. Mori stood beside him, his large hand on top of Honey's head; most likely the only source of comfort he could give the boy at the moment.

Kyouya stood beside the two of them. Because of the cold, his glasses were frosted with a glaring white, so his eyes were hidden from the world as he stared down at the tomb stone. The Priest had now moved on to saying a few words about the deceased. Tamaki flinched at every word that the man said, for he found nearly everything offensive to his dead friend; this man didn't know him! How dare he try and talk of him as though they were great pals! Tamaki's usually bright violet eyes slowly traveled to Hikaru and Haruhi, who had not said a word since everyone arrived.

Tamaki quickly pulled his head off of the two however; he couldn't stand to see them in such a sad state. Yes, out of everyone, Hikaru and Haruhi had a right to weep. Hikaru didn't dare look up as he heard them start to lower the coffin into the cold Earth. He wished for nothing more at that moment than to run out and stop them from doing what they were hired to do.

"Blessed be this soul that travels to heaven: Our prayers are with you." The Priest finished. He gave a soft "amen" and stepped away from the freshly dug up Earth, allowing the grave diggers to throw their shovels in the pile and fill the hole. Hikaru's hands shook more violently every time he heard the shovel's metal tip hit the soil. He wanted to stop this; there was no way any of this was real. Before Hikaru knew it, nearly all of his friends were gone. They had all whispered their apologies and taken off before they too, burst into tears. How many were still here, Hikaru had no clue- he was too absorbed in his thoughts to even care about the others. They weren't his Kaoru.

He and Kaoru were always together; that was a basic foundation that he had revolved his entire life upon. They came into the world together. They wore the same types of clothes and talked the same way. They perfected their walking and focused all their energy on being exactly symmetrical. If Hikaru felt happiness, then Kaoru felt the same happiness. If Kaoru felt pain, then Hikaru felt the same pain. So why did this world decide that Kaoru had to die alone? Why had this world, that had so willingly brought them up together, not killed them together as well?

"…Why him…" Hikaru whispered. His voice wasn't more than a failed attempt at speech however. The rain hid his voice very well, and even if he had been in a silent hall, he would have not been able to talk over a whisper. Hikaru felt hot tears run down his cheeks as the droplets poured onto his Brother's grave. Inside, Hikaru cursed at the rain for trespassing on his Brother's resting place.

But on the other hand, it was good that it was raining today. If the sky had dared to show its bright sun on the day of his brother's burial, he might have lost it. Hikaru flinched as he looked down to see his hand shaking violently before him. He brought it up to his lips and bit down on his flesh to calm his nerves. This did not seem to help, however, as tears glided onto them.

They were 'the twins' and they had been 'the twins' all of Hikaru's life. What would people call him now? He didn't want to be 'just Hikaru'. There was no way that he could live being, 'just Hikaru'.

"Damn hand" Hikaru muttered as it continued to shake. His sharpest tooth bit harder into his tender flesh, causing blood to gush into his mouth as he broke skin. As his hands started to calm, his shoulders shook with silent sobs. His now injured hand dropped to his side as he held in obvious tears. There was no life for him now.

He couldn't go home and face his parents, not by himself. He couldn't go to school and deal with all of the student's eyes. He probably wouldn't even be able to face his friends. To him, the only spot he truly belonged was beside Kaoru, in this mud and stone that signified the end of his brother's life.

An overwhelming warmness brought Hikaru out of his dark thoughts. Looking down at his now bleeding hand he noticed another's intertwined within his own. Hikaru blinked, not knowing that anyone else had been there. Daring his eyes to look at who it was, he was taken aback when he saw the tear filled eyes of none other than Ms. Haruhi Fujioka.

Haruhi, seeing him notice her, stepped a bit closer. The long sleeve of her midnight black dress draped over their hands, causing it to be shadowed from Hikaru's view as she looked back up at him. Hikaru bit his lip as he looked down in the saddened coffee brown eyes, and though they held a deep etch of depression in them, they also held fear. Fear of the rain perhaps? Or even fear that she was losing him just as quickly as she lost Kaoru?

Hikaru turned his head away from her, partly because he couldn't bear to see her nearly as miserable as he was, and partly because he was ashamed that he had scared her. That he had let her think that he would leave her. No Hikaru wouldn't take his own life; after all, he was too much of a coward to do something like that.

Hikaru stared at the ground as he cursed at himself in his mind. He was weak and pathetic, and he couldn't even keep his promise to his brother. While they had told each other they would always be together, here he was, standing beside his brother's cold body while Kaoru watched down from heaven: The Ultimate Separation.

If only he had stepped in a few moments sooner, then maybe his brother would be standing next to him, picking on Tamaki, laughing with Haruhi, eating the good times that they always managed to take for granted. Maybe if he had stepped in a minute sooner, he would be buried along with his Brother, or better yet, instead of him. Yes, it would have been better if he had been killed instead of Kaoru. Kaoru did nothing wrong. His voice was much sweeter, his tone happier. His face was gentler, and his actions much kinder. He didn't deserve to die.

Hikaru's hands started to shake again; they seemed to be doing that a lot lately. It started right after Kaoru's blood landed on him; they hadn't stopped quivering since. Hikaru let out a soft sob as his knees started to buckle. Why hadn't it been him in front of that gun? Stupid Kaoru! Why the hell did he have to go like that?

"…Hikaru…you're soaked. You're parents want you at home…we…need to say goodbye…" Haruhi whispered tenderly. She didn't want to upset him anymore than he already was, but it was really starting to downpour, and she was sure that his parents were already paranoid because of the accident. Hikaru didn't snap at her, though. He felt like he should, but when he opened his mouth to shout out harmful words, he found he just couldn't do it. So he slowly nodded and then lifted his head up to see the grave for the first time since the ceremony started.

"K-Kaoru…" Hikaru stuttered out. His heart jabbed at him, for he had just preformed an unforgivable sin by saying his name so casually. Hikaru flinched and tried not to look at anything but the grave marker. Haruhi was right after all; if he didn't leave now, he would never leave. Haruhi gently pressed her fingers against his palm and he realized that he was still holding onto her hand. He supposed this was supposed to be a nudge that everything was alright.

"You can squeeze my hand…if you want." Haruhi said in her usual soft voice. Hikaru looked up at her curiously. The boy would have laughed at her statement had the situation not been so grave. She really thought that he, a man, was going to squeeze her hand for comfort? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

None the less as he turned back to the grave he found his body reacting without him. His hand squeezed onto hers for dear life as newly made tears formed into his eyes. He was not ashamed of them at this moment; if she thought he was being childish for crying then so be it. Sniffing slightly, Hikaru used his free hand to wipe the tears and rain off of his face as he choked out-

"…Goodbye….Kaoru…" Hikaru sobbed after the words left his mouth; he never thought that the words would hurt so much. What was that old saying his mother always used to tell them? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?

She was wrong…

These words stung like acid on his skin.

Hikaru was surprised that Haruhi hadn't screamed out in pain by now, for he was holding onto her hand so tightly that it had actually turned a tomato red. Hikaru immediately let go of her and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Haruhi merely gave him a very small smile and took his arm to lead him away from the grave. She took a few steps but he did not budge.

"Haruhi…?" Hikaru whispered as he stared at the grave once more. She stopped and turned around curiously. The young woman walked so that she was beside him and then looked up into his cat like eyes.

"Yes, Hikaru?" Haruhi asked softly. Hikaru rubbed his eyes again as he took in a few deep breaths to stop his sobbing. Though it was perfectly understandable for him to cry, he didn't feel like doing it any longer.

"…Haruhi…I feel sick, and I can't move…is…that ok?" Hikaru whispered to her. Haruhi smiled a very sad smile. Her frail hands reached out for him very cautiously, but they pulled back just as she got near his arm. He didn't need physical contact right now, he needed to get home.

"Yes, that's ok Hikaru." Haruhi whispered as she unbuttoned the long trench coat that she had been wearing to protect herself from the rain. The woman threw it around his shoulders and grabbed his arm a bit forcefully. Hikaru closed his eyes, almost feeling the fear in her that if she didn't grab onto him now he would slip away.

"Come on, Hikaru…let's go home, alright?" Haruhi asked softly. Hikaru nodded slightly and allowed her to guide his ghost-like body to the limo that would take him away from the dreary place. Hopefully a change of scenery would lift him up a little.

The driver of the limo immediately woke from his peaceful nap as the two started toward the car. Slipping his hat onto his head, he got out and opened up the door for the two depressed teens.

"Home, sir?" The old man asked. Hikaru didn't answer, but Haruhi looked at the man and nodded. She would answer for Hikaru right now. The driver merely nodded politely in return and allowed Haruhi and Hikaru to enter the car. The driver closed the door with a soft click and headed back to his original spot. Taking in a few deep breaths he started up the engine; what a cold atmosphere he was exposed too- and it wasn't just the rain.

The old man checked his mirrors a few times and looked around him, the road didn't look very safe to drive tonight, he would have to be extra careful. He leaned back, turning his head towards the backseat to warn the two before spotting Hikaru leaning gently against Haruhi's shoulders.

With a smirk, the driver turned back and started the engine. The driver turned down the street and toward the mansion, however as he reached the downtown area, Hikaru's soft whisper broke out from the back of the limo. His voice was scratchy and as soft as a frightened child, but the words that he spoke broke clearly to both Haruhi and the driver.

"…Can…you take me to Haruhi's house….please?" He asked. Haruhi's eyes widened as she looked at the boy. Hikaru looked up at her and immediately tried to think of some reasoning behind his sudden request.

"It's just…I can't- I can't sleep in that room yet. I don't want to sleep alone…I can go to Tamaki's house after the storm passes but, can…can I stay at your house till then?" Hikaru asked.

Haruhi stared at the boy, but then after a light sigh, she nodded and leaned forward to go give the driver directions to her home. Suddenly, Hikaru reached out and grabbed her arm, his eyes shaking with fear. She looked back at him as his grip slowly loosened on her; what had just happened?

"…You know what…I'll just write it down for you." Haruhi whispered as she grabbed a pen and some paper from the limo. She quickly wrote it down for the driver and then passed it up to him before she sat down next to Hikaru once more. As soon as she sat down, he dug his head back into her shoulder, both of his hands wrapped tightly on her arm.

"….Hikaru?" Haruhi questioned.

Without bringing his head up from her shoulder, Hikaru cringed at her voice. He really had no idea what he was doing either, but he wanted to hold onto her right now. He wanted to know that she in fact was sitting there next to him. He wanted to feel her skin against his own; proof that she wasn't his imagination playing tricks on him.

"…Don't leave me, Haruhi….please." Hikaru whispered as he held onto her tighter. Inside, he was angry at himself for acting so childish and relying on her like this. Kaoru's death was not her burden to bear. It was his, and his alone. But his hands would not let go of her and his head would not lift from her shoulder try as he may.

"Hikaru, you aren't going to be alone. Is that's what's been bothering you?" Haruhi asked. Hikaru, however, did not register what she had said, for his eyes were slowly traveling out from reality and into his own mind. With her body heat surrounding him like a blanket and her skin serving as his soft pillow, Hikaru slowly closed his eyes. If for a moment he allowed himself to leave this Earth, leave this town, this car, this place that would soon be a world of 'just Hikaru'. For now, he would slip into dreams and relive this day like it should have been spent; with his brother at his side and a smile on his face.

Haruhi's large brown orbs looked down at the sleeping orange head. Her face saddened as she let out a very light sigh and looked out the window; it was still pouring down rain. The street and houses nearby were barely visible due to the thick downpour, so Haruhi was not sure if she was close to home or not. She started to feel restless and antsy, as if the ride would never end and they would all be dead before they reached her house.

However, a slow stop of the limo silenced the ever creeping fears in her mind. Looking down at the sleeping Hikaru once more, she sighed lightly and rubbed her temple. Leaning over as gently as she possibly could, Haruhi lifted Hikaru's head off of her. He blinked open his eyes for a few minutes before he registered where he was, and his content face was soon replaced by a lost one.

"…Hikaru…We are at my house, do you need any help getting out?" Haruhi asked gently. Hikaru shook his head for he knew perfectly well that his legs worked fine. Nothing had happened to them after all, he was not injured one bit. Hikaru cursed at himself once more in his head for walking away from Kaoru's battle without a scratch. He sickened himself…

"Hikaru?" Haruhi asked as she guarded her now soaked head from the rain. Hikaru broke out of his trance and ran out of the limo. His feet met with a puddle on his way out, soaking part of his pants as he ran over to Haruhi's very tired and wet body. She smiled unsurely as he looked at her, nearly choking on his own words.

"We should go inside and get warmed up. I'll make some tea, ok Hikaru?" Haruhi took his hand gently in her own palm and started to walk toward the apartment complex.

Though Hikaru knew that the gesture probably meant nothing to the young girl, to him it was a symbol. Even though he was too afraid to move after Kaoru was shot, somehow Haruhi managed to take his hand and lead him toward the phone. When he was too afraid to say goodbye to Kaoru, she took his hand and led him toward the grave. Now while he stood in the pouring rain, his senses unable to feel anything but bitter numbness, she grabbed his hand and led him toward warm blankets and hot tea.

She was also going to be the one that would lead him from the darkness that he was surely enclosed in, into the light. Then again…that would probably be asking too much of his little Haruhi…the sole heiress to Hikaru's little world.

"Alright Hikaru, the door is unlocked" Haruhi called from inside her apartment. Hikaru nodded and followed after her like a small newborn duck would to its mother. He had no idea what to do now; he was completely lost in this world. Haruhi sighed and guided him to the couch before setting him down.

"Here, Hikaru, give me your shirt." Haruhi stated as she held out her hand. Hikaru blinked a few times before he registered the exact words that had come out of her mouth. Slowly he looked down at his soaked clothes and did as she asked.

The buttons on his shirt were slicker than he anticipated. His still wet fingers slipped over the cold black buttons, missing them nearly every time as he tried to undo them. Haruhi gave out a gentle laugh, causing his head to snap up. She sighed humorously before getting on her knees and unbuttoning his jacket and t-shirt for him.

Hikaru blushed a very light red and tried to take off his t-shirt by himself. Sadly, common sense had long left his mind and instead of undoing the last few buttons on his shirt, he tried to slip it off of his head which only resulted in unpleasant results. With his flat orange hair in a tangle of buttons and parts of his white t-shirt, Hikaru growled at the contraption. As he tried to undo his large mess, Hikaru noticed that one of the main sources of the problem was that the buttons on his cuffs continued to get clipped in random parts of his hair. Honestly, what possible purpose could buttons on the sleeve serve?

Haruhi's gentle laughter broke out through the awkward silence as she leaned over and started to undo the knots that he had produced. Hikaru sighed at his incapability; he was becoming more useless to everyone by the day. Now he wasn't even able to take off his own shirt without Haruhi's help.

Haruhi didn't seem to mind, however; with her silk-like hands lacing in and out of his hair skillfully, Hikaru couldn't help but look up at her as she worked. There was a very small, but noticeable smile on her face as she undid Hikaru's mess. For that he was happy; at least she could smile for a little bit.

"There you go, Hikaru," Haruhi said with another soft laugh as she slipped his shirt off of his head. Hikaru muttered a small thank you under his breath as she talked about something or other- a small lecture about calling his Mother, maybe? Or did she say something about her Father? He wasn't sure at this point; all of the sounds around him were fuzzy.

Hikaru slowly lay down on the bit too small couch. The cushions smelt like the petals from his mother's garden, perhaps it was some air freshener that the commoners used? No, the scent was far too sweet. It was almost as if it was a perfect mixture of flowers, vanilla, and a hint of cinnamon. It smelled more like perfume than anything. The boy slowly dug his head into the cushion so that all of his senses could be focused on that soft scent instead of the horrid thoughts inside of his head.

He could hear Haruhi's small feet hitting against the carpet of her apartment. He heard the shower curtain slinging slowly open as she threw his wet shirt over the curtain rod to dry. The soft plop of water against the tub's plastic bottom slowly started to match with his breaths.

"Well, it looks like my Father is still at work, so have you decided whose house you are going to stay at tonight, Hikaru?" Haruhi asked as she walked in from her Father's bedroom. The girl had gone looking for him since she didn't see him when she walked in the door. Haruhi eyed Hikaru, who had refused to move his head from deep inside of her couches pillow where she had tested out the different body sprays she liked. Was he enjoying the scents or suffocating himself? At that point, it was a bit hard to tell.

Haruhi slowly walked over and turned his head over to see his eyes glued shut in a peaceful sleep. His chest rose and fell with a steady slow rhythm and the frown that had been plastered on his face all day had disappeared into a peaceful expression. Haruhi rolled her eyes and rubbed his hair slightly before standing up.

"Well, I guess you are staying here." Haruhi whispered before walking into her own room. Might as well get some shut eye- after all, it had been a very long day…

Haruhi was awoken by a strange softness tickling against her neck. With a soft groan, she slowly opened her sleepy eyes. What on Earth could be waking her up in this hour? Haruhi looked over at her alarm clock and saw that the digital numbers were flashing 2:43 AM. There went the rest of her sleep for the night. Haruhi looked down at her body to see that she had fallen asleep in the wet clothes that she had walked home in, and had not in fact gotten under the covers like any other sane person would.

So why did she feel so warm?

At closer inspection, a pair of hands wrapped loosely around her waist quickly answered the question. Tilting her head over a bit, she saw that Hikaru was in fact sleeping beside her, his tear covered face driven deeply into the crick of her neck. Haruhi sighed and gently rubbed Hikaru's shoulder to wake him. There was no way that she was letting him sleep with her.

Hikaru woke rather unhappily as he grumbled and slit open his eyes. Haruhi raised a brow at him, but he quickly looked around as well, almost as if he didn't believe where he was. Haruhi waited for him explain and gather his thoughts, which might have taken a while, had she not been giving him the stare of a life time all the while.

"…You were crying…I could hear it from the living room. I just acted on instinct…sorry. It's still really new to me you know…" Hikaru whispered as he looked down at the ground. He quickly began slipping out of the bed and stood beside it. Though he was outgoing, perverted, easily jealous, and way overprotective, he still was missing his partner in crime, and without him, he was practically nothing.

Haruhi gave a light sigh and then let herself lay back down on the comfy mattress. Hikaru watched the woman as she stood and took off her wet sweater. She was probably really cold now that he had let go of her. She slowly turned her head to him and nodded a bit in understanding for his reasoning. The woman turned away once more so he wouldn't be able to see her wipe away at her eyes. Hikaru sat down testily down on the bed while watching her.

"…hey, Haruhi?" Hikaru asked gently. The woman slowly sat back down next to him on the bed, her legs now slipping underneath the large heated blanket. Hikaru watched her and hid his head away as he bit his already rose red lips.

"…can I sleep here with you…? It'll just be tonight, I promise." Hikaru whispered. The young man was ashamed of himself for asking this, but though he was in a new house and bed he couldn't shake the feeling of being absolutely alone. Being able to see Haruhi, to be able to hold onto her arm or feel the heat radiating off of her body, to smell the sweet perfume that she had worn for the funeral, and to be able to make sure at all times that she was still there-

That was the only thing at the time that brought him comfort.

"Alright, climb under, any touching 'devil type' and you're going straight back on the couch," Haruhi whispered in a semi-annoyed tone as she turned on her side. Hikaru smiled lightly and gave a happy nod before slowly getting under the nice warm covers and sliding next to her.

He kept his distance since he was still a boy and she was a girl, but to be able to look over his shoulder and see her face was good enough for his overprotective nature. When he was sure she was asleep, the boy reached over and grabbed her hand; that soft hand that had learned to lead him through so many times before. He smiled slightly and leaned down, kissing the tops of her fingertips with the utmost care- he couldn't have her waking up and kicking him out after all.

"Thank you…Haruhi." Hikaru whispered as he let out a breath and fell back into sleep.


	2. The Suspicion Of A Best Friend

Hikaru's eyes fluttered open as golden sunshine poured in through the window that lay on his wall. He groaned slightly and tossed to attempt to grasp Kaoru's hand, but found nothing but a fist full of sheets. He slowly blinked, his bright yellow eyes holding in a moment of surprise before they saddened and he let his fingers slip from the white bed sheet. He laughed quietly to himself before he raised his hand and wiped at his eyes again. So this is how he would wake up from now on?

Hikaru sighed softly and looked around his room. The usual trinkets laid across the floor, his clothes were loosely hanging off of the desk he had in his room. The light blue paint shimmered in the sunlight as he threw his blankets off of his warm body. The bed was as soft as silk, and was made of the finest cloths. It was made with the twin's bodies in mind, and was highly overpaid for. Still…it wasn't as comfortable as Haruhi's bed. Despite the fact her bed sunk every time he climbed in with her, and that it had highly evident broken springs, or even besides the fact that her mattress was as stiff as a board and left your neck and back sore in the morning- Hikaru wished for nothing but to have been able to sleep in it every night.

Haruhi's father had come home a bit after Hikaru had fallen asleep, when the dangerous man came into his daughters room he was of course surprised to find a teenage boy sleeping there instead of his precious little angel. Thankfully Haruhi had seen this coming and had moved to the couch in the middle of the night so that if her Father barged in he would at least only see Hikaru. The two teens had managed to convince her father that Haruhi had told Hikaru to sleep in her bed due to his hard day, and that since he was too tired to argue he didn't put up a fuss. None the less Hikaru didn't want to overstay his welcome with the man and had shipped himself back home as soon as he had explained his story.

The boy rubbed the dust out of his eyes and then grabbed some dirty clothes off of the chair. Hikaru glanced at his alarm clock as he slipped the white t-shirt over his head. Today was Monday, the first day he would have to go to school without his baby brother. Hikaru planned the situations that he might run into before he could even get his belt on; after all he didn't want to be caught off guard. In a worst case scenario someone would not know about his brother and ask him about it. Then he would most likely have to tell them, then there would be a lot of crying, hugging, and 'I'm so sorry's'. He really didn't feel like dealing with sobbing women today, but he knew it would probably be inevitable.

Closing his eyes tightly Hikaru imagined the look on everyone's face when he walked through the third music room's doors. Would he have customers today? How many will there be? What kind of things will they say to him? How much would he have to endure before he could silently mope? Shaking his head slightly Hikaru tried his best to not focus on things like the Host Club. He just had to make it through the day…

The soft tap of his feet hitting against the wooden staircase echoed throughout the mansion. The only sound that filled the house was his mother and step-fathers soft chatter. Once he reached the first floor he slowed his pace so that he could hear what they were saying. The smell of burnt meat and eggs reached his nose before he could even get into the room. Scrunching up his nose Hikaru tried his best not to be seen by his mother as he passed the dining room table- he just needed to get some water and he could get out of this eggshell like house.

"Kaoru, pass me the newspaper would you?" The loud booming voice of his step father made Hikaru flinch as his hands started to clench into a fist. He could hear his mother's soft whimper as Hikaru smirked to himself. Hikaru grabbed the newspaper off of the table and slammed it down in front of him with a strained a smile.

"Heh…even when Kaoru is dead you still can't tell us apart, way to go mom, you married a real winner." Hikaru commented as he sat down at the table. He didn't feel like sugar coating anything today. The man did not seem troubled by this; he sipped at his coffee and picked up the newspaper. Hikaru's mother flinched and leaned over, pouring her son some orange juice. Hikaru eyed her slightly as he looked down at his already set plate of breakfast. The eggs were an odd color of brown and black, the bacon was turned into small amounts of ashes. Hikaru knew that this was not some poor maid's work though.

"Something wrong with breakfast?" His mother suddenly asked. Hikaru looked up at her and forced a small smile onto his face. Her eyes were lined with dark black bags and her usual bright outfit was replaced by a shaggy robe tied loosely around her tired body. The poor thing had probably missed out on sleep for the past few nights, after all as a parent she had a lot of things to prepare. Since Kaoru had died on Saturday she had arranged the funeral for Sunday. The woman also had to keep down the press and keep up with her work, after all she had a new line coming out in the next season.

"….I…I made it myself, so it's not as good as what you usually eat…I just…just…" His mother stuttered slightly and brought her hands close to her body to protect herself from any harsh critiques that would be thrown at her. She closed her eyes tightly as hot tears streamed down her usually vibrant face. Hikaru looked at her sadly and grabbed the toast that she had burned to a crisp before stuffing it in his mouth.

"What are you talking about Mom? I was just letting myself wake up a little bit before I ate." Hikaru stated as he nodded, his eyes closed as well so that he wouldn't have to see her sad face. The woman slowly opened an eye at her son and a small smile crawled onto her face as she laughed, tears strolling faster now.

"Well that's good." She laughed out. Hikaru's step-father rolled his eyes at her antics before sipping at his coffee again. Hikaru sighed softly and straightened his jacket before he put his hands on the table and let himself stand up.

"…Hi-Hikaru where are you going?" His mother asked quickly. He looked up at her with dull eyes, wasn't it obvious where he was going? He was wearing his school uniform; it was six in the morning and a Monday. Had his Mother really lost it?

"I'm going to school Mom." Hikaru stated simply as he threw his backpack over his shoulder. His mother's eyes widened as she heard this. Hikaru eyed her as she looked at him in a rather confused matter. He went over and took her hand away from her chest before he kissed her palm.

"I have to go now ok?" He whispered to her.

"Hikaru you can take the day off….you don't have to go to school. In fact I didn't think that you would be going anywhere so soon, are you sure you are feeling alright?" She asked in a shocked tone as he closed his eyes. Of course he wasn't fine, his best friend, his brother, the man he had shared half his soul with had just died this weekend, was he supposed to be ok? That didn't sound right.

"Yeah Mom I'm fine…besides it's no fun skipping school unless you are not supposed to." Hikaru answered simply. His mother slowly nodded before she looked back down at the table. Hikaru kissed her cheek gently before whispering into her ear- "Thanks for breakfast"

With that Hikaru walked out of the room, he couldn't take another moment of this. He wanted to hit something, and he didn't want it to be anything in this house, he didn't want to have a possibility of crushing something that Kaoru had touched. Maybe he would pick a fight at school and get out some anger. Hell right now he'd go as far as to go find that boy that was flirting with Haruhi the other day.

He smirked at that thought and walked past his limo driver, he was going to go and walk to school today. It really wasn't that far and he didn't know why he had never taken the route before. Hikaru glanced at his watch, there was a while until school started, eh... maybe he would take the long route….

Just as he was about to take off in the other direction a long black limo pulled beside him, at first he thought that it was his annoying driver trying to get him to ride with him so that he would be paid that day. He was surprised however when he saw bright blonde hair pop out of the door.

"…Tamaki?" Hikaru questioned as Tamaki stepped out of the car. Tamaki flashed a brilliant smile at Hikaru and stood beside him, his arm wrapped around the boys shoulder. Hikaru looked at Tamaki for a second as he saw the young man wave his driver off. The limo took off down the street as Tamaki and Hikaru stood in silence.

"Well come on Hikaru, we are going to be late for school if we just stand here." Tamaki said with the same, almost scary grin. Hikaru stumbled a bit as Tamaki started to walk, his arm still around the young man. Hikaru slowly nodded and walked alongside him, his mind still trying to wrap around what exactly had happened.

"Uh…Milord, what are you doing here?" Hikaru asked as he scrunched an eye at Tamaki. Tamaki started to laugh lightly, this time his huge smile started to turn into a serious, almost emotionless expression. He looked down at the ground and let his arm fall off of Hikaru as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

"I didn't want you walking alone." Tamaki stated gently as they continued along, this time at a much slower pace. Hikaru looked away with a small huff as they went. The street was still pretty slick from the huge storm last night, and the sidewalk had yet to fully dry even though the sun was now shining brightly above. Hikaru kicked a stone into a small puddle before he whispered.

"Why? Because I've never walked alone before or because of what happened?" Hikaru asked angrily. He didn't mean to be angry with Tamaki, inside he knew that the man was just trying to help, but he was not doing a good enough job at it. Or at least he was going about it the wrong way. Then again, what did he expect them to do?

"…Both. I am not quite sure what to do for you Hikaru…I want to help but I have no idea how I can…I mean should I help you remember Kaoru, or not mention him at all? Should I kick you out of the host club so you don't have to deal with it, or force you to come so you can be with your friends? Besides all of that since the killers are still out there…" Tamaki paused as he felt a strong lightning bolt like shock run up and down his spine.

He glanced over at Hikaru who was glaring holes into the sidewalk. His entire body shook with anger, his fist were clenched tightly his footsteps had turned into stomps. Tamaki sighed to himself, so apparently mentioning that the killers were still out on the streets was not a good thing to do.

"He'll pay. Whoever that bastard is he will pay..." Hikaru suddenly whispered. The eerie sound of hate in his voice made Tamaki shiver once more as he walked beside his angry friend. Tamaki slowly put his arm back around Hikaru and nodded to himself.

"…I know Hikaru…I know he will." Tamaki whispered.

That day at school was just as Hikaru had thought it would be in his head. Most knew about the murder from the newspaper, but some were too idiotic to ask anyone else and decided to go straight to Hikaru for information. Then he would look down at the floor and mumble the story. They would cry, he would walk away, and then the process would be repeated within the next second. Pretty soon he had the entire school trying to comfort him.

What they didn't understand however was that he didn't want to be comforted. He didn't want their feeble apologies nor did he want any offer that they pitched him. He just wanted to go to class and work on his studies…ok so maybe that was pushing it a bit. Hikaru sighed and rubbed his temple lightly, if it was this bad just walking through the halls he could only imagine the chaos from the Host Club.

Seeing his class door he started toward it rather quickly, at least he would be safe in the quiet classroom. Throwing open the door he nearly ran toward his desk as many people started to stare at him. Some women whispered from the back of the class as he looked over at the empty seat next to him. Where was Haruhi? He tilted his head curiously, had she taken the day off? That wasn't like her.

"Hikaru…" One of the girls from the back of the classroom slowly got out of her seat and started toward him. Hikaru set his head down on the desk, here it comes. He heard her get down on her knees as she started to rub his back, it didn't feel that great even though her hands were soft. He just couldn't relax with some weird lady touching him. She saw this but thought that it was for another reason, because she continued to rub his shoulders like she knew him.

"I am so sorry Hikaru, I mean losing your Brother is one thing, but losing him to your best friend must be terrible" She whispered as tears strolled down her pale cheeks. Hikaru slowly raised his head, his eyes barely open. He had not been focusing on her until the last part; maybe he had heard her wrong?

"What was that?" Hikaru asked curiously as he slowly sat up. The girl's eyes widened as she put her hands over her mouth.

"You mean you didn't know? Oh Hikaru…" She whispered sadly. She was obviously enjoying the fact that he wasn't paying so much attention to her, and that pissed off Hikaru more than anything. He looked at her with dangerous eyes but knew he had to keep on her good side to get the information that he needed out of her. What the hell was she talking about?

"What is it?" He asked in a cut throat tone. She took the hint and slowly stood up. Bowing to him she sat down in Haruhi's seat. He eyed her as she turned so that she could look into his eyes. Hikaru wanted nothing more than to reach out and strangle the woman but he kept his shaking hands under the desk as he waited patiently for her to speak.

"…Hikaru they announced it this morning, in the paper it said that the blood they took from Haruhi matched the one that they found on the gun that shot Kaoru." She whispered to him. He slit his eyes at her and stood up, nearly pounding his fist on the table as he did so. A low growl left his lips as he pointed to her chair in the back of the room.

"Get away from me." He whispered out harshly. Her eyes widened as she quickly got out of the chair and ran towards her own, her friend blinking nervously as she ran as well. Hikaru ducked his head low and shook his head quickly. How dare that girl accuse Haruhi of killing Kaoru?

"Hikaru?" Hikaru's head snapped up angrily as he heard his name being called.

"WHAT?" He snapped out.

Haruhi blinked at his outburst as he slowly let his face soften. He laughed self consciously at throwing out an eruption like that out on the one person that he wanted to treat kindly. At his apologetic glance Haruhi took her cue and sat down next to him.

"Sorry Haruhi…guess I'm just kinda tense." Hikaru whispered as he let his head fall back down onto the desk. Haruhi smirked slightly and nodded as she leaned down and took a notebook out from her backpack. As she reached back down for a pencil Hikaru tilted his head to an odd angle so he could see her hand more clearly. A rather large bandage was covering her finger. He hadn't noticed she had hurt it up until now and he started to become curious as to what she had done.

"Haruhi what happened to your hand?" He asked, his head still tilted at what seemed to be an impossible position. Haruhi's eyes widened for a second before she blew it off and started to write down in her notebook.

"Nothing, I just woke up with it, weird huh?" Haruhi asked gently. Hikaru's face dropped, Haruhi was really smart but she never was that great at making excuses. What could have happened that would make her so self conscious that she couldn't even tell him about it?

'_Haruhi's blood matched the one that they found on the gun that killed Kaoru'_

Hikaru shook that out of his head. After all Haruhi had been there with them when they were attacked right? So how could she have possibly killed Kaoru without Hikaru knowing? She couldn't have…right? Then again…Kaoru was only shot in the leg when Hikaru was conscious, and after he had been knocked out his brother had a fresh bullet wound in his heart…

What had happened to Haruhi and Kaoru during that time?

Hikaru hit his head against the desk at the thought, how could he think that his best friend would do such a thing to his brother? What purpose would it bring anyways? Haruhi loved Kaoru nearly as much as Hikaru did, and killing him wouldn't have helped anything.

But there was also the question as to why her blood was on the gun. Since he was sure that she had never fired a gun in her life, her hand might have been caught in the trigger like many rookies do. So if she had fired the gun that would explain why her blood was on it, as well as the injury on her hand.

So the real question was why did she fire the gun… and at who?

"Haruhi." Hikaru whispered. Haruhi did not answer him however, for she was writing down the lecture that Hikaru had completely tuned out until that minute. The boy looked over the teacher who was saying something about the formula for some kind of dumb equation. Just review to him. The boy set his head back down and closed his eyes to let the world around him disappear once more. He would sleep in this class, and then focus…

Well…that was the plan at least.

"I still can't believe that you are still tired after sleeping through all of the classes" Haruhi mumbled as she walked beside Hikaru. She didn't seem to notice the dirty glances that she was getting, Hikaru did though. He tried his best to block them from her view, or protect her from them by staying close, but his plan did not work so well. He was scared for her, for everyone seemed to have such anger directed toward her that he was sure that if he left her alone they would rip her to shreds.

"…Yea…well you know when you sleep too much you get tired." Hikaru whispered as he kept his arm close to her. He was ready to make her dodge any blows that might come, but none came.

They both walked in a somewhat comfortable silence toward the Host Club. Hikaru had argued with her that he didn't want to leave her alone, and Haruhi had convinced him that going to the Host Club was better than being sucked into a depressed state by himself.

He silently argued that he had a right to be depressed, but she didn't want to hear it. Maybe she was trying to force him to move on? But that wasn't like her, no; she had some other reason for this. He wanted so badly to know what was on her mind, but he didn't ask. After all she wouldn't tell him even if he did.

"Oh well, you better be glad that I took notes for you." Haruhi mumbled as she reached in her backpack and pulled out what seemed to be around ten pages of binder paper, each covered in blue ink from Haruhi's pen. Hikaru's eyes widened as she handed him the papers.

"…You took notes for me? I thought that you were writing more than usual but I didn't know you went this far…thanks." Hikaru whispered, still in a shocked state as he looked down at the papers. The boy tried to ignore the light blush that was on his cheeks, and silently hoped that she didn't notice it. Haruhi shrugged it off and continued to walk with him, only to stop as she saw him start to shake.

"Hikaru?" Haruhi asked gently as his shoulders started to shake faster. His hands were over his face, and she was scared that he might be crying. Though she didn't want to bother him she didn't want him to have to suffer either, so as she removed his hand she was surprised to find that he wasn't holding back sobs- but laughter!

"Haruhi…your writing…it's chicken scratch" Hikaru laughed out. Haruhi blushed as he made fun of her penmanship. The girl looked away quickly before deciding to defend herself. She grabbed the notes from him and looked it all over.

"What are you talking about Hikaru? That is clearly labeled 'calculus'" She yelled with a pout. Hikaru started to laugh again as he looked to where she was pointing. At that he started to become hysteric in his laughter.

"Are you kidding? I thought that said carplus!" He laughed out. Haruhi shook her head and pushed the notes into his chest. He started to let his laughter die down as he looked at her with a small smile. It felt good to laugh like that…she made him feel better even when she wasn't trying to. She really was amazing….

"Excuse me ladies, pardon me." Tamaki called out from across the hall as he tried to get through the crowd of people outside of the host club. He looked somewhat frightened as he ran toward Haruhi and Hikaru. He grabbed onto Haruhi's shoulders and let his head fall as sweat dripped down his cheeks. He had been running for a little while now judging from his heavy breathing.

"Haruhi…go home." He breathed out. Hikaru's eyes widened as Haruhi blinked innocently at the boy holding onto her. Hikaru flinched slightly and bit his lip as Tamaki wrapped his arms around the girl, letting his head fall into her shoulder as his body slowly became more and more limp.

"Haruhi, that's an order from your president, go home now." Tamaki whispered. Haruhi looked at him curiously as she raised a brow, what the hell was this all about? She pushed the boy off of her, making him somewhat stumble as he nearly fell. Hikaru reached out and grabbed him by the arm before he hit the ground. Haruhi stormed off towards the host club as Hikaru eyed Tamaki.

"Yo Milord, what was that all about?" Hikaru asked harshly.

"Haruhi don't!" Tamaki yelled as Haruhi entered the host club doors. When she looked inside her entire body stiffened and her eyes widened. The woman's tiny hands clenched tightly onto the door as she stared out at the room. Tamaki ran beside her quickly and Hikaru quickly followed out of curiosity.

What Hikaru saw in that room made him flinch, at first glance you would think that everything was normal. The tables were all polished and the furniture was filled with young women. When you turned the corner though, the entire room's atmosphere changed. Where Haruhi's usual guest would sit sat pictures of Kaoru, black roses. Where Haruhi would have sat to host was a chair filled with bullet holes, and hateful words from a spray can were spread all over the area where she would have been. Fake blood had been sprayed over every inch of her spot. Hikaru put his hand over his mouth as he felt himself about to vomit.

Haruhi stared at the place that had been vandalized due to hatred toward her. She started toward it and slowly touched the picture of Kaoru in which had been nearly drenched in gooey red liquid. As it streamed down her hands she stopped breathing. She slowly brought it up toward her chest and looked down at it with nearly dead eyes. Hikaru flinched as well; of course no one cared if she had actually seen Kaoru's body covered in blood…

"Ah, so I see that even rich kids pull off some good pranks once in a while" Haruhi laughed out. Everyone's eyes focused on her. Honey stared at her sadly as his eyes started to water. Mori was sitting next to him, after a bit he slowly stood up and walked over to Haruhi, his huge hand grabbed the picture of Kaoru and put it to the side. He reached over and took the others in an attempt to help clean up the mess.

"…Thank you Mori…" Haruhi whispered as she grabbed a rag and started to clean up the fake blood from the walls and carpet. Honey jumped down and grabbed a cloth as well before hopping onto a chair to start on the spray paint.

Tamaki ran towards Haruhi before taking the rag from her. He gave her a large smile before slowly pushing her away from the table. He took her now red hand and wiped the fake blood off of her palm.

"You go ahead and head home Haruhi, we've got it covered here." He stated with the same large smile. Haruhi looked up at him almost as if deciding what to do before she slowly nodded. No one wanted her here right now. Kyouya watched from the corner and looked up, his glasses covering his mysterious eyes. Haruhi noticed this as he motioned for her to come to him.

Haruhi headed over to him as Hikaru watched from the doorway, he didn't want to be here anymore. The poor boy suddenly felt sick and his entire body was shaking like he had not eaten in ten days. It wasn't just the fact that people really thought Haruhi would kill Kaoru, but the pictures of his dead brother seemed to trigger something inside of him that he had managed to ignore for the past few hours.

He watched Kyouya have a short conversation with her as Haruhi nodded, she didn't seem to have a lot to say to him. He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in a bit closer so that Hikaru couldn't understand what he was saying. He watched Haruhi's shoulders drop slightly as she nodded for a final time and headed back towards the door. Seeing Hikaru looking so beaten up Haruhi leaned under his arm so that his arm was over her shoulder.

"Come on Hikaru, let's get you home. You don't need to be here." Haruhi stated in a gentler tone than before. She closed the door quickly as they started back down the hall that they had just come from.

"…Haruhi, what were you talking about with Kyouya?" Hikaru suddenly asked as he looked at the girl. She had seemed lively and normal only a few minutes ago, but now her mind was elsewhere- her soul lost in thought as her body moved with Hikaru.

"…I'm not allowed in the host club until I'm cleared innocent in Kaoru's murder." Haruhi stated.


	3. The Act Of Rage And Love

It was around four am but one boy's eyes lay shot open, his hands folded behind his head and his hair pressed up against his silk pillow. Thoughts boggled around in his brain that did not permit time for sleep. His lip twitched as small fragments of that day floated into his usually unburdened mind. The boy growled as he used his strong arms to push himself up from the bed. Reaching over angrily he grabbed his orange mp3 player. The pale grey screen lit up bright neon white when he pressed the button on the middle of the devise. He felt over the smooth cover that Kaoru had given him when he accidentally broke the one he originally had.

Hikaru thrust the padded ear phones into the sockets of his ears and hit the shuffle button. Music would take his mind off of everything, it always did. Hikaru slowly closed his eyes as a soft melody started to take over his mind. This should have taken him by surprise since he didn't have any songs so sweet and melancholic on his mp3 player. Most of his playlist consisted of Japanese metal and rock; however he did not question the song as it continued on, a deep English voice overtaking his ears.

Hikaru's eyes, though getting heavier, managed to glance at the song information.

"Nothing I Won't Give"

It was a pretty song….the voice was comforting and depressing at the same time. Hikaru lifted the player up with his hands and inspected it over since he didn't remember ever inserting such a song. After careful inspection he concluded the mp3 player was in fact his. Tilting his head to the side he noticed that the song had a note attached on its information tab. This was mostly used for lyrics and album information, but as he clicked it open, his eyes widened to a point in which his pupils started to shake.

_Dear Hikaru: _

_Happy Birthday! I'm not sure if you like English songs or not, but I liked the lyrics a lot, and I thought that you would too! I sneaked a bunch of songs on here, and I cleaned out a lot of your weird songs. Seriously, who listens to the 80's anymore brother ;p ? Just don't let mom check out your play list, then you'll really be in trouble, lol. Well before you kill me just remember I did this out of the goodness of my heart O:3 See you when you wake up! _

_(Ps: can you stop drooling please? It gets rather wet X3)_

_Kaoru_

Tears choked in his wide eyes, but he did not understand why. It wasn't like he had found a note from his brother about his deep love for him, or for something emotional and meaningful. It wasn't like this was something that he left for him in case he did pass on. That just wasn't how a 16 year old boy thought…how was Kaoru supposed to know that he was going to die? Hikaru let his head drop back onto his pillow, the mp3 player slipping out of his fingers. Why had such a little thing, like a morning note, cause tears to fall onto his bed sheet?

"FUCK YOU KAORU! ALWAYS DOING IDIOTIC THINGS LIKE THAT! CHANGING MY MUSIC, TELLING ME I DROOL WHEN I DON'T! I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD! I'M GLAD!" Hikaru yelled as he glared angrily at the player.

The angry boy grabbed it in his right hand and threw it against the room, making it shatter against the wall as hot tears glided down his face His heavy breathing slowly coming to a much healthier pace Hikaru realized the words that he had said.

"…Kaoru." He whispered as he slowly crawled out of bed toward the now broken player. Hikaru crawled over to the mp3 player and took the busted parts gently in his hands. Tears hit them all like rain as he let his mouth gently hang open; he had just destroyed the last note that his brother had given him out of rage….and now he would never get it back.

A gentle melody crept into Hikaru's ears. The piano that was supposed to lay downstairs now sounded like it was just outside of Hikaru's door. It played a rhythmic and repetitive melody, and Hikaru raised a brow in wonder at who would be playing the piano at this hour. Suddenly Hikaru's eyes snapped open as the piano picked up a faster melody, and he started to shake in recondition of its tune. Hikaru looked around quickly, for he knew that it must have been unreal. There was no way that anyone in the household knew that melody so well, nor did they know the perfect time to play it. As if on cue a low and gentle voice started to hum along with the tune their harmonic melody soon turning into perfectly uttered words.

"_**Haunted by the past a nightmare that seems so unreal  
Wish that I could turn back time and spare the pain that we both feel  
But now we've changed things will never be the same"**_

Hikaru started to shake as if he was having a spasm attack, his legs gave in and he fell to the ground on his back. His pupils were dots, for he knew that voice anywhere.

"_**We were foolish then but our trials seemed to make us strong  
The burdens are not yours alone, we've sought the answers for so long  
But they're not free, they cost you more than they cost me...my brother"**_

Kaoru…it had been so long since he had heard it. Hikaru closed his eyes tightly in order to tune out his brother's voice. Though it was so gentle and beautiful he couldn't deal with hearing his dead twin singing to him.

"_**I promise you there is nothing I won't give  
To see this through, return the soul to where it live"  
**_

"Stop…please stop" Hikaru whimpered out as he clamped his hands over his ears, his back slowly making him rock in a soothing motion as he tried to drive out the piano melody.

"_**I promise you I'd go everywhere I've been  
To find a way to make atonement for my sins and see  
See your smiling face again"**_

He wanted nothing more than to make the voice stop, his tears glided down faster and faster now as he slowly brought his knees up to his chest in protection against the unknown. He dug his head deep into the crook of his knees and felt the cloth over his knees immediately start to soak.

"_**When we've paid the price at last and we are whole once more  
Life will be the way it was, the way it was before the day I slipped away  
Together we'll redeem that day…"**_

"Brother why…why are you doing this to me." Hikaru whispered through whimpers as Kaoru's voice continued to sing the beautiful song into his head. As he started to choke on his sobs Hikaru slowly looked up from his knees. He was standing in front of his desk. Slowly Hikaru started to pull himself off of the carpet…there was something in that drawer that he had forgotten about until now…

"_**I promise you there is nothing I won't give…."**_

Hikaru, in a daze, slowly reached out and pulled open the desk. Nothing but a small orange box with a dark red ribbon lay in its oak drawer. What looked to be small brown blood spots on the package made Hikaru flinch, but his body reacted without him. Hikaru grabbed it in his large fist and threw open the small lid, three tickets to the commoners movie theatre. That was right, he, Haruhi, and Kaoru were supposed to go on their birthday. They were on the way there when-

"_Let go!" That scream pierced harshly into Hikaru's heart as he quickly snapped his head around to see Haruhi's wrist tightly held by what looked to be a couple of drunken hobos. Their rough faces had large cuts on them from knife shavings and past fights. Large coats covered baggy shirts that still had price tags on them. _

_The street lights shone directly on the three as the two men tried to pull Haruhi out of the light into the dark alley way. The twins had been walking in front of her out of pure excitement but had stood frozen when they heard her voice screech out. Kaoru quickly turned on his heels and was about to run toward the girl when he caught the bright glimmer of a cold metal gun in one of the men's pockets._

_His eyes widened as he saw Haruhi's hands sling back in order to punch the man, he quickly reached out in shock and screamed for her to stop. She did not hear him however as she clenched her tiny hands into a fist and punched the man's face, making his nose immediately start to swell. Her light blue skirt hit back against her legs as she was practically dropped out of shock. Quickly regaining her stance she nearly fell over again as she found herself face to face with a revolver._

"_That hurt you bitch" The man murmured. The other drunk laughed wildly at the girl's fearful expression. Haruhi tried to back away but he reached out and grabbed her hand once more, causing her to be still; the gun now pressed lightly against her temple. As soon as the cold metal hit her skin Haruhi shivered, her eyes daring to dart over to where she would have thought the twins would be. The only thing in sight however was the street lights flickering on and off evenly, a plastic paper bag being carried away by the wind. No car drove by, for the street was still, the black gravel unmoving from its peaceful spot. Haruhi looked straight back at her attacker, now with serious eyes as she hid the pain and fear that overtook her every move. The twins were gone…they had abandoned her._

"_GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HER YOU BASTARD!" Hikaru and Kaoru screamed as they appeared from behind, a kick delivered to each of the men as they threw wild punches and attacks at Haruhi's muggers. The two men were obviously too drunk to feel pain for they fought back with bleeding wounds that would have normally knocked any man out. Angrily one grabbed Kaoru by the shoulders and threw him down to the cold concrete ground, the impact ripping through his light cloth and exposing his bleeding skin. Kaoru winced and tried to get up, only to have his attacker start to laugh, pressing his boot against the young boy's chest. He stomped on Kaoru's abdomen causing Kaoru to jump out of pain. His face twisted up as he spit out a red-ish brown substance onto the ground. _

"_KAORU!" Hikaru yelled out as he tried to keep off his own attacker. Hikaru felt himself get pushed into the wall at his moment of weakness as the man's rugged arms pushed against his throat, causing him to become motionless. In what seemed like slow motion the gun was pointed at his baby brother. The attacker did not aim for a vital point however, he wanted to play with his meat before it died, and as Hikaru reached out for Kaoru, his eyes starting to see black dots from lack of air, all he heard was the gun fired out, and the screams of the two people he loved most in this world before he passed out._

"AHHHH!" Hikaru screamed as the memory came flooding into his mind like a dam that had just been broken. The box dropped to the floor as Hikaru held onto his bright orange head tightly. His eyes shaking once more the room began to spin from underneath his feet and his breathing became uneasy and short. Was this something like a panic attack? The nerves in his arms and feet did not listen to him as he told his mind to run. He did not want to stay in this horrid room a minute longer. Run, he whispered to himself, run! But he did not listen, his body stayed in the same place, unwilling to budge.

"_**I promise….I promise….I promise…" **_

Kaoru's voice and the sweet piano drifted off as Hikaru started to sob. That seemed to be all he did anymore, think, discover, and cry. This had now become his daily ritual; it had become as simple as brushing his teeth or eating lunch. Hikaru did not try and stop the tears as they strolled. He slowly reached over for his cell phone but it was nearly a million miles away in his eyes. Black spots reappeared before him once more as he fell on his knees. Taking in long breaths Hikaru looked up and started to crawl toward the desk where the phone lay.

"Haruhi" Hikaru whimpered as he reached out. He entered tunnel vision, and no matter how many baby crawls he made toward the desk he found that he was getting no closer for the phone was continually making its way away from him. Hikaru's eyes slowly became half closed as he saw faded images of Haruhi and Kaoru waving at him from the desk which continued to drift farther and farther away. Hikaru opened his mouth to screen for them, his hand reaching out in one last attempt to grab them- but no words came out, and his hand became that of a small child's, unable to grasp the people he longed to hold onto.

Hikaru looked down at himself as he noticed his small hand. His arms started to shake as he felt his entire being start to shrink; his legs became shorter along with his torso, neck, and head until he was in his childhood body. Hikaru was certain that he had completely lost it. After all you had to be seriously ill to see illusions.

A flash of lightning lit what looked to be a black abyss. Thunder roared and rain started to pour down like a harsh waterfall. Hikaru winced as the lightning flashed again, this time quickly accompanied by thunder; he looked behind him to see the lightning getting closer and closer to his tiny body. The boy's eyes widened as he started in a run, the lightning now nearly catching speed, it sounded again, this time catching the ends of his shoes. Hikaru screamed out in surprise as he landed in the mud.

He wiped off the dirt from his face so that he could see, surprised to find that the lightning had stopped. He found himself face to face with what looked to be a graveyard. Hikaru sniffed childishly as tears hit the mud, he reached out and with his baby like hands and continued to cry softly, his high pitched squeals echoing in the darkness. His tiny body shivered from being in the rain for so long. His eyes looked up as he searched for some form of warmth. His body craved it like a drug, and he rubbed his arms quickly in an effort to satisfy the need.

A soft pat in the distance made the frightened Hikaru turn in one last essence of hope, he found that he was now in front of a pair of knee caps that were covered over by a midnight black dress. Tilting his head in wonder Hikaru managed to remember he was much shorter in his child form and looked up quickly.

"…Haruhi?" His high pitched voice managed out. The woman paid no heed to him however. She slowly sat down, holding the cloths of her gown beneath her as she sat on her knees, gray like eyes staring at the graves before her. Hikaru waved his hand in front of the girl but found she would not go out of her trance.

"Haruhi help me!" He yelled out, his hands quickly wringing into tiny fist as he slowly stepped in front of her, tears unable to stop falling. He looked around and coughed uncontrollably, his entire body doubling over due to the force coming from his throat and lungs.

"HELP ME! Please Haruhi! PLEASE HELP ME!" Hikaru yelled out again.

Hikaru felt strong arms wrap around his tiny waist as Haruhi's gentle hands slowly took him into her lap. His legs fell off of her knees, his back laying gently against her chest as she put her head deep into his orange locks. Hikaru blinked slightly, causing the tears to escape his eyes again. His lips pouted and shook as he tried to hold back sobs again, but his child like nature got the best of him as he sobbed again, his eyes shut tight.

"Haruhi!" He yelled out in pain as he cried hysterically, he turned and wrapped his arms around her tightly, his head buried in her stomach and chest as his legs wrapped around her tiny frame as well. The woman treated the child gently and rubbed his head and back as he cried, the thunder the only thing disrupting the painful scene.

"…You always did act like a child with your emotions Hikaru." Haruhi's tender voice whispered into the boys ears. Hikaru's eyes widened as he stared at her collar bone, which his head had been currently occupying. He dared to slowly look up at her face, for a moment the harsh thunder put aside.

**Bang!**

The thunder roared, Haruhi flinched but held onto the child tighter as the lightning neared them. Hikaru blinked slightly but slowly wrapped his arms tighter around her as well. He flinched and started to cry again, this time not from fear or depression, but from shame.

"I'm sorry Haruhi! I'll be better! I'll be better I promise!" He yelled out as he rubbed her back.

**BANG!**

Closer it came; the bright flash from the lightning could now be seen even though both of the being's eyes were closed. Hikaru bit his lip so harshly that blood rolled onto his chin. He felt Haruhi's hot tears hitting against his cold back but he couldn't do a thing to stop them. How could he in this form?

"Hikaru….help me…please." Haruhi whimpered. Hikaru's eyes shot open as he heard her whisper. He had no idea that she would need help from him. Then again…maybe he knew this all along, but was too much of a child to do anything about it.

"….Don't cry Haruhi….please don't cry." Hikaru whispered.

**BANG!**

The heat from the blast now nipped at their bodies as they prepared themselves for the next blow. Hikaru sobbed harder knowing that they were not long for this world, he slowly looked away, his body quickly switching between his adult and child form. He looked at Haruhi's terrified eyes with his own tear filled ones as he reached out and held her tightly.

"I LOVE YOU! I SWEAR THE NEXT TIME YOU CRY THEY WILL BE TEARS OF JOY!" He yelled over the rain, the lightning overhead started to stir. Hikaru looked up and saw the bright white flash heading toward them. Right overhead the lightning came down over them, just about to strike. As it was about to hit their heads Hikaru's now adult form pushed Hikaru down and wrapped his arms tight around her. He dug his head into her neck and awaited the lightning to hit his back.

"I'LL PROTECT YOU HARHU I SWEAR! JUST WAIT FOR ME!" He screamed as the tip of the lightning hit his shirt.

**BANG!**

Hikaru's eyes slowly opened as he felt no pain, nothing that would even give him evidence that he had just been hit by lightning. The boy slowly looked at all of his limbs, then found they were all back to normal. He blinked for a few moments before he noticed that Haruhi was nowhere in sight, and the graveyard had turned into his bedroom. The soft black dirt underneath his knees was now replaced by his white bed sheets, and the thunder and lightning was just in fact the bickering twin maids whom had up until that minute been hitting him with a newspaper to wake him up.

"Hikaru wake up- you're late for school" They echoed nonchalantly.

"We tried waking you up like normal but you kept fighting and waving us off, isn't that right sister?" One mimicked. The other nodded slightly, her emotionless eyes and face not even daring to show one aspect as she answered- "That's right sister, the way he was tossing his feet and hands around, looked like a dog if you ask me"

"Dog, good one" The other answered without so much as a smile or giggle, Hikaru raised an eye brow, not sure how on earth they understood each other's jokes if neither laughed. Just as he was about to ask one reached out with the newspaper and rubbed at Hikaru's cheeks. He flinched as the scratchy paper wiped away tears on his face, his cheeks already becoming a light red from being irritated. It wasn't until now that he realized how kind Haruhi was to use her gentle hands to wipe away his tears instead of a napkin or newspaper.

"So we hit you with a rolled up newspaper to wake you up. Seemed appropriate seeing as how you looked like a dog and all" The woman on the right answered. The one on the left looked over and nodded.

"Newspaper, good one sister." She answered in the same tone as the other. Hikaru stared at the both of them with angry eye and grabbed the newspaper, throwing it at the two of them.

"Oh just get outta here!" He yelled.

"Mom!" Tamaki yelled out as he ran down the hallway, Kyouya's dark glasses once more hiding his true thoughts. Kyouya had been leaning against the wall for a while now, his hand steadily working away on his clipboard. Tamaki's furious violet eyes forced the man to look up from his work.

"Now Mom I know you, and I know you well. There has to be a very good reason that you kicked out our lovely daughter. Now I've been calm and tried to figure it out, but I can't! So you tell me right now why you told Haruhi she isn't welcome here!" Tamaki yelled as he stood in front of Kyouya, his hands placed forcefully on his hips.

"Think Dad…it really isn't that hard of a reason to figure out" Kyouya answered smoothly. He slipped his glasses off of the tip of his nose as he watched Tamaki's face squished up in confusion. Kyouya concluded that the man had given up on thinking as the bright violet eyes slowly turned to Kyouya's.

"Aw come on Mom, tell me and I'll give massage your shoulders. I know how much you like those!" Tamaki exclaimed, hoping that the man would take the bait. Kyouya let out a hushed chuckle as he glared daggers at Tamaki with a suppressed smirk.

"…Nope." Kyouya answered smoothly. Tamaki sighed and sat beside Kyouya, he tugged at the taller mans black pants signaling Kyouya to sit down beside him. The man did and watched as Tamaki let himself get deep in thought, Tamaki had only allowed Kyouya to see him in such a state, and though he bounced around and acted normally, Kyouya had noticed that far away look in Tamaki's eyes more than normal.

"…What's wrong Dad?" Kyouya asked as he looked over at the boy with curious eyes. Tamaki merely sighed and placed his hands behind his head as he let his lean body slide down the wall and land on his back on the bright tile. His eyes closed into a slit as he stared at the ceiling. He slowly reached out with his hand and grasped at the bright light that had slipped from the ceiling windows.

"…She was so close that I could have grabbed her…now…it seems she's even farther away than normal." Tamaki whispered. Kyouya immediately understood Tamaki's babbled words. Though he and Haruhi were rather close at the end of the year Haruhi seemed to be more secluded than normal these days. Tamaki probably blamed Kyouya for making this gap even larger.

"Well you know I can always help you close that gap." Kyouya noted. This seemed to be his only role in the relationships that went on in Ouran's walls. Tamaki looked over at his friend with a small smirk, most of his tips came from this (to the unknowing eye) cold man.

"…Oh really? Do tell." Tamaki whispered as he watched Kyouya slowly push himself up. With a small smile the man looked down at the blonde. He extended out his hand and allowed Tamaki to take it in order to pull himself up.

"Use that gap to your advantage Tamaki; sometimes you don't realize how much you miss something until it's gone." Kyouya whispered to his friend. Tamaki's eyes widened as he glanced at Kyouya, a large smile coming over his face. Kyouya smirked and watched as his friend laughed happily. He really was starting to miss that smile, he was glad he could do something to get it back.

"THAT'S PERFECT KYOUYA THANK YOU!" Tamaki yelped out happily as he ran out of the host club doors. Kyouya rubbed his temple as he walked over and yelled out into the hallway-

"TAMAKI YOU STILL HAVE CLASS!"

"See all you have to do is click this-" Haruhi sat in Hikaru's computer chair as she looked at the lit screen. She had opened up his storage files for him after he told her that he had in fact smashed his mp3 player in his sleep. He told her a bit of his odd dream but left out plenty of the important details, more or less anything that had to do with her. Apparently he had fallen asleep listening to the song his brother had put on for him in his nightmare like dream and had accidentally thrown the player into the wall.

"You're serious? The note is still there?" Hikaru asked as he leaned his head over her shoulder to watch her work. She was typing a lot of things into the computer scripts but he didn't understand any of it. Haruhi laughed lightly at his curious tone and closed the window that she had opened. She right clicked on the song that he had been listening to and clicked on information. He watched in wonder as a window opened up and under the tag notes Kaoru's letter still lay, undamaged.

"You have to go through the computer to even get that kind of stuff on your player, so really the information was in your pc the entire time. I was just surprised how slow your processor was running so I did a virus scan and cleared out unneeded programs. It's actually pretty simple, I can show you if you'd like." Haruhi said matter-of-factly as Hikaru stared at the computer screen. He was still staring at the crisp font that held his Brother's words.

"It's really there." He whispered. Slowly a large smile formed on his face as he looked at the screen. Haruhi laughed lightly and looked back up at him as she shook her head at his thinking. If he had used his head she was sure that he would have known this fact a long time ago.

Hikaru started to chuckle happily as he let go of the chair and spun it around quickly, making Haruhi giggle somewhat. Hikaru danced around the room with his hands up in the air as he yelled happily and tackled the chair and Haruhi to the ground, a large grin plastered on his face.

"IT'S REALLY THERE!" He yelled happily as he started into a childish giggle. Haruhi tried to hold in her amusement as he grabbed both of her hands and shook them quickly.

"IT'S REALLY THERE! I DIDN'T RUIN IT HARUHI I DIDN'T! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! GOD I LOVE YOU!" He yelped out as he let his happy tears fall onto her hand as he kissed the top of her hands. Haruhi laughed at him and wiped away his tears as she slowly crawled out from under him. He had forgotten not to put his weight on her and the pressure on her stomach and chest was starting to hurt.

"Yea yea, I love you too, now stop crying you big baby." Haruhi laughed out as she patted his back and stood up. Hikaru gave her a smug smile and stood as well. She looked down at her cell phone and grabbed her backpack quickly off the ground. He eyed her as she put her hat back over her head, adjusting it so that it fell just above her bangs. He hadn't noticed it until now but she looked really cute today.

"Well I better be going, Tamaki's making me show him the best restaurants in town. I don't know why on Earth he just doesn't do it on his own time; I mean dragging me around, it's really bothersome." Haruhi said in the most irritated tone she could manage. However she couldn't hide the small smile on her face and the happy gleam in her eyes.

"…Tamaki eh?" Hikaru asked, his laughter slowly stopping, his hands dropping down to his side. Haruhi nodded and looked up as she put her things back into her bag. The sleeve of her uniform hung out of its pocket. She stuffed it back in as she fixed her shirt.

"Yea, why you want to come?" Haruhi asked as she slung her backpack over her shoulders. Hikaru was just about to open his mouth to agree, after all he would never let Tamaki take her away from him, but as he looked at her happy eyes he slowly closed his mouth.

"…_You always did act like a child with your emotions Hikaru"_

"…Naw, have fun Haruhi, if he annoys you too much just call me…I'll just be working on my homework." Hikaru managed out. Haruhi smiled sweetly as she nodded a light red coming to her cheeks as she walked out of his room, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Hikaru fell back down onto the chair; his hands holding his face as he let out a long sigh.


	4. The Way That She Feels

Haruhi walked down the streets with Tamaki as he went on and on about something, his usual chatter merely going into one ear and out the other. She slowly rubbed her arm in anxiety as they started toward a little restaurant downtown. She had never been there before but she had heard they were pretty good. Her hands slowly began to come off of her arm as she twisted a bit of cloth in her dress. Feeling eyes come upon her she snapped her head up.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki's gentle voice called out. Haruhi looked over at him with a small smile as she forced a laugh and looked back out toward the street. Shuffling her feet she dragged her right foot slightly due to the fact that it was hurting her very badly. As butterflies floated around in her stomach Haruhi wrapped her arms around her stomach tightly. The girl flinched at the annoyance and continued on. She didn't even hear Tamaki's voice as he reached out for her.

As Tamaki's hand reached Haruhi's shoulder her eyes widened into shaking pupils as she nearly yelped and quickly turned, smacking his arm away. As Tamaki blinked in surprise she slowly started to relax. Her breathing become steady and she looked at him in confusion at her own actions. Haruhi immediately brought her hand down and turned away as she whispered a small apology.

Tamaki merely gave her a sweet smile as they continued back down the path. Her shoulders tense Haruhi tried to shake off the bad feeling that she had. Haruhi took in a deep breath as Tamaki looked at her, his usually yapping mouth not saying a word. The girl slowly turned her head as she twiddled her thumbs again.

Her hear slowly looked up as she spotted the restaurant not too far off, thank goodness. Tamaki laughed a bit and rushed forward so that he could open the door for her. She looked at him in a bit of a shock as she blushed and stepped through the door of the diner. Tamaki closed the door behind them as they waited to be seated.

Haruhi couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable. She had a unique friendship with each of the boys. With Kyouya she entrusted intellectual conversation and secrets about the others. With Honey she felt that she could relive the childhood that she had been shunned from ever since her mother died. With Mori they she felt a sense of maturity and a quiet protection with one of another, knowing that if either got hurt they would be there for a shoulder to turn to.

And Hikaru…

Well Hikaru was just another situation in itself. He was one of the few people that she could have easy conversations with; that she could laugh around. At least that's how it was before. Now she kept a deep secret from him that she knew he would shun her away if he ever found out. Now she felt such a great need to console in him, and help him feel less pain. Their friendship was that of two wounded….two victims who'd both witnessed a murder of their best friend.

But Tamaki, she really had no idea what their friendship was. With him…she just felt happier than with the others, she felt like she could pour out her heart. She knew that he wouldn't laugh if she told him something serious about herself. Even though she also knew that he was an idiot and acted so happy all the time, inside they both shared a friendship that she wasn't able to put into words. However this usually literally meant no words from her mouth.

"Excuse me sir your table is ready" A peppy waitress chimed out. The waitress laughed, giving out a giggle as she crossed her arms, a bright blush on her cheeks. Tamaki smiled sweetly at her and nodded before getting up. Haruhi however was still sitting in her own little world as she stared at the floor, her hands clinging tightly onto the light pink dress hem that fell against her skinny legs.

"Come on Haruhi, let's go to our table!" Tamaki cheered out as he put out his hand for her to take. Haruhi slowly looked at his hand and then put out her own. Her fingertips were shaking almost unnoticeably, but she tried to ignore it. She knew it, but would never admit that when she was with Tamaki she felt so weak. He grabbed onto her soft hand tightly and pulled her up with a happy smile.

As they were led to their seats Haruhi took a look around where they were. It was a bit of a mix between a casual diner and a classy café. There was a spot where a lot of book works were sitting reading or on their laptops. One was a rather funny sight as she typed madly away on her computer with around a few hundred root beers around her and her laptop, even from her spot so far away she could hear the Broadway musicals blasting from the tiny music speakers as the girl pushed up her glasses and nodded to herself.

Haruhi's bright brown eyes traveled to the calming tan walls as she felt her feet move without her mind catching up. The dark brown border reminded her of the coffee that she had not tasted in such a long time. Why was that? She had coffee every day in the Host Club- oh right….that's why. She wasn't allowed in the Host club doors any more.

"Ah here we are Haruhi." Tamaki's cheerful voice yelled out as he showed her the small table that was set away from the others. Haruhi looked up at his cheerful bright violet eyes and slowly sat down in the large oak chairs. Tamaki turned to the waitress who was all too happy to wait by their sides as they both got settled. Before Haruhi could even order Tamaki smiled at the woman and took her hand in his own gently.

"Excuse me mam would you mind starting us off with a few cups of coffee? Mocha for me, and a dip of honey in hers please, but not too much, she doesn't like sweet things. Ah, and also a breakfast platter if you're still serving them." Tamaki said in a calm and happy tone. Haruhi stared at him in disbelief as the woman nodded and looked at him rather flustered as she stumbled off with hearts flying around her.

"Ha-ha, isn't it nice to have such nice service?" Tamaki asked happily. Haruhi twisted at her napkin as she stared at the table, almost wishing to be anywhere but here. She was so excited to go and be alone with him, but for some reason, after seeing that note that Kaoru left...

"Um…Tamaki, why did you order a breakfast platter? It's nearly four…" Haruhi questioned lightly. He slowly lost his smile as he looked back at her with serious eyes. He leaned back in his chair as the man slowly closed his eyes.

"…You skipped breakfast right?" he asked gently as he opened an eye to look at her. Haruhi was taken a back as she sat straight. How on Earth would he know something like that? She looked down at her stomach and concluded that it wasn't rumbling from skipping breakfast for the past couple of weeks.

"…Ah…yeah actually I did, how did you know?" Haruhi asked as she looked back up at him. Tamaki merely smiled and leaned forward so that he was nearly nose to nose with her. He blushed a bright red and leaned back as he put his hands on the table.

"…You never eat when you are depressed. And lately you've been-." He paused.

"-you're…you're different Haruhi…" Tamaki muttered as he dug his fork into the cloth on the table. He spun it around like noodles for spaghetti as he tried to avoid her eyes. Haruhi looked down at the ground and let out such a soft apology that Tamaki almost missed it. He immediately looked up and grabbed both of her hands from her lap. This made her look back up as his sad eyes bore into.

"…I know how you feel. I do…with your mom gone and now Kaoru…you must be hurting more than anyone else right now- even Hikaru. You aren't just mourning his death…are you?" Tamaki slowly asked. Haruhi's eyes widened as she started to chuckle.

"I don't know what you're talking about Tamaki." Haruhi laughed out as she tilted her head to the side, making her hair fall onto her shoulder. Tamaki bit his lip as his eyes nearly watered. Why couldn't she admit the pain that she was feeling to him? Weren't they friends?

"…Do you trust me Haruhi?" Tamaki suddenly asked. Haruhi's laughter suddenly stopped as she stared away from him, off into the world that he often caught her looking into. That seemed to be the one place that she visited regularly. Whenever a topic she didn't like was brought up it was off into memories, off into the eyes that saw two murders in her lifetime.

"…Tamaki I-…I'm sorry." Haruhi whispered as her eyes started to drift away again. He tightened his grip on her hands so much that she immediately snapped back into reality. If there was one thing that Tamaki was going to do it was going to be protecting Haruhi. Whether that is thunder, thugs on the street, or her own self, he would protect her.

"No! Don't apologize Haruhi! Please…just tell me you trust me" He whispered sadly, losing a bit of his defense for the time being. Haruhi felt like nearly crying as she saw those sad eyes, but her own wall kept out any tears from her eyes. He slowly let go of her and sat back down before he showed even more of his weakness.

"…you said you had something to tell me?" Haruhi asked as she tried to get to the point. What started out as a happy outgoing had suddenly turned into this mess, right now all she wished for was to slowly become invisible to his eyes.

"Yea. I was meaning to tell you…your debt…it's been paid off." Tamaki whispered. Haruhi's eyes widened as she opened her mouth to speak, but sadly the waitress intervened before she could. Still giggling like mad Tamaki gave her a quick smile nearly making her spill the food and cups of coffee. She set them down and laughed before jetting off. Haruhi, still in shock, couldn't even comprehend what was going on as Tamaki took a piece of bacon from her plate.

"…How?" Haruhi whispered. At this Tamaki leaned over and put a fork in her hand before making her put it into the food. He wanted her to take care of herself and one of the few ways that he could do that was by making sure she ate all of her meals. At her question Tamaki remained as calm of an exterior as he could before he looked at her again.

"Eat something and I'll tell you." He bribed. Haruhi quickly stuck a piece of sausage in her mouth, only to find she was much hungrier than she remembered. The one piece of meat was soon replaced by two as she started to steadily eat her meal, all the while waiting for the answer.

"Well on an auction you're pen went for around 300,000,000 yen." Tamaki whispered. Haruhi nearly choked on the food she was eating as she quickly looked up at him. Even for a rich kid that was still a lot of money! Who on earth would be so stupid as to pay that much for a pencil? Did she have a super rich stalker or something?

"Wo-wow." Haruhi whispered as she looked down at her food. Taking in a sip of the coffee she smiled. He got it right…Tamaki ordered exactly what she liked without her even knowing she liked it. That was just like him.

"Now you don't have to worry about paying the club back, isn't that great?" Tamaki asked as he smiled. At that Haruhi slowly looked back up at him. This was all to great to be true, was he just pulling her leg to make her feel better about being on suspension?

"They say I'll be taken off the suspect list any day now so don't worry about it" Haruhi said quickly as she gave him a quick smile. Tamaki looked over at her and then looked away for a moment before catching her eyes awkwardly.

"…That's not true…is it Haruhi?" He asked her gently. Haruhi bit her cheek as she sipped down some more of the coffee. Whether she told him the truth or not, the fact was that they had no leads except for the blood, and her refusal to talk only made it harder on the police.

"Haruhi if you just tell them the truth, no if you just tell someone the truth, then all of this could be over…I can see it Haruhi…I can see that huge secret in your heart, that burden on your shoulder…it's not fair to make you carry that alone!" Tamaki nearly yelled out as she stared up at him, her lips still secure with the coffee cup as it started to rock gently.

"Tamaki I'm not hiding anything. I told them all that I can tell them. Isn't it their job to find out what happened on their own? I can't say that I can be of much help to them." Haruhi said matter-of-factly as she tapped the table with her fingernail gently.

"Haruhi if you don't you could go to jail! But what's worse…is…is…if you don't…Kaoru will never be able to rest in peace….Hikaru will never find peace…and neither will you….I understand Haruhi, I understand your pain. I want to be the one you turn to, I don't want you to take on everything yourself. I know that you are too stubborn to admit it, but you're hurting too…you're…you're hurting too…" Tamaki whispered.

Haruhi did not say a word but merely continued to eat her meal in silence. She did not lift her hear to look at him but continued to trail on in her mind as she tuned out his thoughtful words. Even if he did understand her feelings she couldn't tell anyone her secret, even if that did meant feeling more pain.

"Um excuse me….your check?" Tamaki looked at the waitress who had come back to give them their bill. He nodded slightly and took out his credit card. She took it and headed off. Tamaki looked back at Haruhi with gentle eyes as he sighed.

"Just find someone you can talk to Haruhi, even if that person isn't me. It isn't your job to take all of Haruhi's pain…you need to be happy at some point too you know." Tamaki whispered. The woman's high heels clanked against the linoleum floor as she passed him his card back, and gave him a receipt to sign.

"Do you need a pen?" The girl asked. Tamaki smiled lightly and shook his head as he took out a pen from his pocket before signing the waxy piece of paper with it. Haruhi eyed his hand before her eyes slowly started to water. The woman walked away but tears started to glide down Haruhi's face. Tamaki looked up at her and quickly rushed over to her side. Kneeling down on the floor he looked up at her tear stained face in an inquisitive manner.

"Haruhi? Haruhi what's wrong?" He asked as he reached up and started to wipe away the tear that were on her face. She grabbed onto his hands quickly and looked down at him. He looked at her sad eyes with his own as she let her eyes start to squint. Her mouth opened and the only words that made themselves clear were-

"…You bought my pencil…Tamaki you big idiot. Why would you buy a murders pen?" Haruhi asked as she started to sob. Tamaki's eyes widened as she started to give into hysterics. Falling off the chair and onto her knees she let herself be overtaken by Tamaki's strong arms as they wrapped around her. He looked around at everyone was staring and tried his best to hide her from them.

"…Haruhi?" He asked. She started to sob harder as she grabbed onto his shirt and dug her face into his chest. He smoothed her hair, running his long fingers through the short brown locks as she sobbed softly. Even when she was crying openly it still felt like she was creating a barrier between herself and the outside world.

"I killed him Tamaki! I really think I killed him!" She mumbled through her tears. Tamaki held onto her tighter as he dug is head into her hair. Letting her sobs become a part of his body he felt his heart skip two beats every time her tiny frame shook.

"It's ok Haruhi….just tell me everything…start to finish." Tamaki whispered to her. She slowly nodded and wiped at her eyes as she held onto his clothing for dear life. As her eyes trimmed themselves with tears she didn't think about how pathetic she must have looked, or even as to why her defense against the world was suddenly crashing down. All she thought about was the terror of that night, and the warm father like hands that surrounded her.

"…You know. I really just took you on this date to get you to smile again…but I think this is just as good." Tamaki whispered as he dug his head into her hair. She sniffed slightly and nodded as she let her heart lighten after so many days of being burdened.

The sun was setting when a now back into her calm state Haruhi walked out of the restaurant and onto the open street. She had refused Tamaki's offer to walk her home, for even though she trusted him, she needed a little while to herself to think things over. The girl looked around for a way to get home when she spotted a head of bright orange hair from around the corner.

"Hikaru?" Haruhi quickly questioned. She turned her head to the side and started toward the corner as Hikaru's head quickly popped out from behind the wall. A smug smile quickly came over his face, making her heart flutter. She hadn't seen that mischievous smile on his face for such a long time. Hikaru quickly ran from his spot on the wall toward her as she stood in her spot.

"Hikaru what are you doing here?" Haruhi asked as she rubbed her eyes to make sure that there was no sign of her weakness. Hikaru reached her side as he took in a few deep breaths. He had run the whole way there, and so in a result he was out of breath. Hikaru reached down and took her hand in his own gently, causing Haruhi to feel some source of comfort as he started back to the corner with her in tow.

"Haruhi do you think that we could take the bus home together?" Hikaru asked her as he turned around so that his bright eyes were glued to hers. Haruhi gave a slight nod before she followed after him. The two sat down on the bus bench before Hikaru took the initiative to speak.

"You know something Haruhi?" Hikaru asked as he turned his head to look at her. Haruhi looked back over at him as he continued to hold onto her hand tightly. She noticed that every time she was around him he had to find some way to have contact with her. Whether it was holding her hand or just having his leg pressed against hers, she had only started to notice his need for physical contact.

"Hn? Do I know what Hikaru?" Haruhi asked as she looked back out at the street. Across from them a beautiful woman passed with a sobbing child.

He whined and rubbed his eyes as he stood in one spot, he had a light red mark on his cheek, and was dressed in a tiny karate outfit. He had probably gotten beat at a match or gotten hurt by the way he was crying. The woman laughed and bent down as she licked her thumb and wiped away the tears and wiped at the small mark. His crying slowly stopped as his lip quivered. She mouthed something to him that seemed to make him give off a soft giggle that she could hear from all the way across the street. He laughed and threw his arms around the woman as she laughed herself and picked him up with great speed.

They spun in circles for a little bit before they started back off in playful conversation. Haruhi watched them, her eyes focusing on the child. Was she like that when she was young? Did she cry at the slightest annoyance? Did she smile when her mother did something as insignificant as hold onto her hand? It was so hard to tell anymore…she felt so guilty because to Haruhi, her mother was practically nothing. She was the reason that she was trying so hard in school, but really-

Really-

Her mother was just a horrible dream that she thought up in her mind one day. Those happy mornings and cooking lessons, they all seemed so unreal and far away. That horrible winter night where the thunder was louder than she had ever heard it, that night where the roads were flooded, and the look of her mother's dead body, it all had to be a horrible nightmare. To her she had always lived alone with her father, the thought of a mother was so far off that it had to be a dream.

That was until Kaoru died.

Then all of those dreams suddenly made themselves reality all over again. If she didn't feel guilt for Kaoru's death she had nightmares of her mothers. She hadn't slept in nearly a week.

"I realized that if Kaoru saw me acting all sad that he would probably be really sad too. Of course I can't help but feel really sad when he's gone. I don't know when's the right time to smile, when the right time to cry is, how soon it is to move on, or what's too long. I figure though that if Tamaki and you can still smile, it's ok to smile a little bit. So would it be ok if I smiled with you?" Hikaru asked as he looked back over at her.

Haruhi continued to stare out at the street and soon she found a laugh escape her lips. Soon this turned into giggles as she put her hand over her stomach to stop the tingling sensation. Bending over the girl now stared at the ground as she laughed harder. After crying for so long it felt really nice to feel so happy she couldn't keep it contained.

"Of course Hikaru! That's what I wanted all along!" Haruhi choked out. Hikaru smiled sweetly and let her laugh as he leaned back against the bench. Soon she regained her composure and slowly sat back up to look at him. He gave her a smug smile before looking back up at the sky.

"And I don't think I'd have to tell you this, but it's ok for you to smile around me too" Hikaru noted. Haruhi's eyes widened slightly, but they quickly softened as she smiled and nodded. If anything they had made a small amount of progress of moving forward. Even if it was just a baby step, she was glad that he could smile without feeling guilty.

"Ah there's the bus!" Hikaru said quickly. Haruhi looked only to see the dull grey bus pull forward. Hikaru quickly got up only to drag her along with him as they walked on, Haruhi quickly placed some change into the slot as they walked toward the back. She smirked to herself and tried to ignore the fact that he was happy over such a little thing. He sat down on the old seats, pulling Haruhi next to him. She leaned her back against the concrete like stand but did not complain. For now she would let him enjoy what he could.

Hikaru let out a breath as he laid himself out on the seat, making his head fall gently in Haruhi's lap. This did not surprise her, for he had done it many times before. He had let go of her hand and was now satisfied with her legs under his hair as she started to pick at the orange locks which had seemed to be a tangled mess.

"Hikaru have you combed your hair at all this past week?" Haruhi asked raising an eye brow at him. Hikaru laughed somewhat nervously as he shook his head, causing Haruhi to give a small giggle for it tickled her legs. Hikaru closed his eyes and began to relax even though the bus ride was very jumpy. His head went up and down, hitting against her leg over every piece of gravel, but since she had not said anything about it he did not mind.

"Ah looks like this is our stop" Haruhi said quickly as she reached out for the line that would tell the driver they needed to stop. Hikaru reached out and took her hand before she could however. Opening an eye at her he grinned shyly before whispering-

"Just one more stop? Please?" He asked her. Haruhi sighed softly and nodded before putting her hand back down on top of his head. He closed his eyes and nearly purred at the feeling of her fingertips against his scalp. He loved that feeling most in the world. When she stopped Hikaru pouted and looked back up at her.

"Hey why'd you stop?" He asked as he looked up at the girl. Haruhi laughed and rolled her eyes as she reached out for the pull once more.

"We have to get off here." Haruhi noted. Hikaru shook his head, as if telling her that it wasn't true before he took her hand and put it back on top of his head. Closing his eyes he muttered something under his breath that Haruhi could only guess what he was saying.

"Just one more stop"


	5. The Change In Fears

Rain.

It was a natural occurrence that happened mostly during the seasons of winter and spring. It is a form of art to some, a necessity to others, and a burden to some. Rain feeds the Earth with nourishment and is a reoccurring cycle that many embrace. It is colorless and often brings wonderful things like life, and food, while it may also bring floods or even death.

Kaoru used to love the rain. From the way that it fell to the way that it sounded against the cold pavement. When it rained Kaoru used to be like a lazy cat, leaning against his brother as they walked down the street, his heavy yellow eyes closing and opening in slow motions. When the cold water hit his skin he used to spin and shiver with delight. Then when guided to a soft bed he would listen to the sound of the rain hitting his window pane and fall asleep in mere seconds. Yes, rain had its purpose.

Lightning.

It was a form of light that flashed throughout all's eyes; it was silent but could light up an entire town with one strike. Many think that it is a form of beauty, something that could barely be captured in the naked eye. Lighting up the sky and Earth alone it connects us to the heavens above, like a shower of sparks. Burning anything it touches it can be very deadly, yet everyone still stops to stare.

Hikaru used to love the lightning. He awed at pictures of them, and used to request the art class to make him a portrait of it. To be able to capture such a quick moment was incredible. But when they did, it was amazement to Hikaru's eyes. It destroyed so much with just one strike, and scared and delighted so many people alike. When he was young he used to sit by his window, just hoping to catch a glimpse of it in a heavy storm. Lightning as Hikaru saw it was the natural beauty of destruction. Yes…Lightning had a purpose.

But thunder…

Thunder had no purpose except for warning. It was the one form of a storm that strung fear into nearly all's hearts. It was not visible but was much louder than anything else around it. To some it was a natural occurrence that warned of lightning's position. To others it was a huge monster in the sky that warned them of danger ahead because of his anger. To two shaking children it sounded like the sound of a gunshot ringing off into the air.

Sitting in the corner of their room, with their hands clasped tightly over their ears they shook with fear as the thunder roared on and on and on. The look of a bullet going through Kaoru's body continued as each thunder shot off like a bullet in a gun. Closing their eyes tightly they tried to think of another's face, of anyone besides the dying boy.

Slowly their eyes opened as the lightning silhouetted the room. A bed, a dresser, and a small vase sitting besides the doorway, the door opened quickly and the person stood up just as quick.

The friendly face of a tired woman peeked in as she slowly stepped inside the room and looked for her son.

"Hikaru? Are you ok? I called you for dinner but you didn't answer." Hikaru's mother whispered. Hikaru slowly looked up from his spot near the corner and started toward the light from the door. His room was dead dark and the only thing that lit the space was the lightning from his windows.

"Ye-yea mom. I'm fine. I'll skip dinner…" he whispered out. Hikaru's mother checked in a little more on her son before nodding. She smiled sweetly and almost closed the door, leaving a little slit open for him if he needed her.

"Alright. It's on the table if you still want it." She chimed it kindly. Hikaru tuned his ears in as he listened to her walk off, her high heels clanging against the carpet hall. He shivered and slowly sat back down. He had never been afraid of thunder before and so the experience was a new one for him. He had never thought of the loud sound as frightening, but now it seemed to be the only thing that kept him nailed to the ground.

"Stop being a baby Hikaru! It's just Thunder!" Hikaru commanded himself. Putting his hands on the ground the boy forced himself up as he felt the wall for support. The thunder chimed and he flinched, seeing the image of his dead brother pop up in his mind. It was unfair to say that he was scared of the thunder. No, what he was afraid of was not the thunder, but the sound of a gunshot.

His entire body twitched lightly as he reached out for the phone. Just a small call to Haruhi would make him feel better. If she was scared too, then maybe he could comfort her. That sounded like a plan. Dialing her number with shaky hands the phone started to ring. He put it on speaker and then placed it down on the floor.

A small click and then Haruhi's somewhat shaken voice answered the phone.

"Hi-Hikaru?" She asked. The sound of her voice immediately filled Hikaru's body with a stabilizer as his cold muscles warmed him like her gentle touch. He opened his mouth to talk to her but found no words made themselves known. The boy cleared his throat and then whispered.

"Haruhi…you alright?" He asked. There was a soft silence on the other end of the phone as he heard a small sloshing noise from the background. Hikaru waited patiently while holding onto the carpet as tightly as he could. Finally her small voice whispered something that he couldn't recognize. He leaned over and turned the volume of the phone up before asking her-

"Haruhi? You there? I couldn't hear you." He whispered. Thunder struck, echoing through the phone and his room. Hikaru gave a yelp in synch with Haruhi. His eyes widened as he realized that he had just screamed on the phone with Haruhi. He could almost sense her surprise on the other end. The boy blushed and dug his head in his knees.

"…Hikaru?...are you scared of thunder?" Haruhi's soft voice broke through. Hikaru nodded but could not bring himself to say yes. Realizing she was on the phone and couldn't see him the boy slowly brought his head up. He sighed and whispered a small yea, before digging his embarrassed head in his knees. Haruhi's breath rang through the phone along with background rain and what seemed to be people on the street.

"Haruhi are you out on the street?" Hikaru asked in distress. There was silence for a minute before Haruhi answered.

"Yea." She whispered.

"Well get out! It's cold and you're afraid of thunder! What the hell are you doing outside at a time like this? Tell me where you are Haruhi, I'll send a limo!" Hikaru quickly said as he burst into action and ran toward his mother's cell phone as he listened to Haruhi's shivering voice tell him her location.

"Alright Haruhi, stay where you are. My limo driver will take you home in a few minutes ok?" Hikaru's voice quivered out. He was concerned why Haruhi was out in the cold, but guessed that he would have to think about it later. Slowly, as she whispered a thank you he hung up and started to call his driver.

After all was said and done Hikaru's sense of security slowly faded away. The conversation with Haruhi was nice but it was over now, and he had no friendly voice to tune out the thunder that threatened at any time to pierce his ears. Running his hand through his hair he tried to re-create the soothing sensation that Haruhi gave him when she did the same.

Hikaru closed his eyes but only felt his coarse hands running across his locks. Hikaru slowly sat down back in his dark corner as he looked up at his hand. It was a lot larger than most, and at the moment it was a light pale color compared to the shadows that surrounded him. His fingers were smooth except for the tips which were covered with calluses. He slowly turned his hand over and looked at the large rough scratches across the top of his hand. When he had been fighting he had damaged up his hands a bit. His fingers were long but sturdy and his nails were uneven and short.

His hands were nothing like Haruhi's.

Haruhi's hands were soft and looked nothing short of perfection. Her fingers were long and slender, her fingertips long and even. There were no ugly marks on her hands or her wrist. In fact her hands were nearly as beautiful as her face, nearly as beautiful as those giant brown eyes…nearly as perfect as those petite arms and legs. His eyes slowly closed at the thought of her; his nearly perfect Haruhi.

"BROTHER! HELP!" Kaoru's voice screamed out with the thunder.

Hikaru's eyes shot open as he started to breathe heavily. He looked around for the source of Kaoru's voice, but found none. It was just the thunder…torturing his pleasant thoughts once more with Kaoru's scared voice.

"….Kaoru…." Hikaru whimpered out as he let himself lay down on the floor. Tears border lined his eyes as the rain fell in tune with his mind set. Hikaru closed his eyes tightly and let out soft whispers that even he couldn't understand. Tears glided down again. He thought that he was past crying every night, but still, tears managed to glide down at least once each day.

"BROTHER! DON'T FORGET ME PLEASE!" The thunder was replaced by Kaoru's voice now. He screamed out in a scared tone as he reached with the thunder toward his brother. Hikaru shuddered as he bit his lip to hold back the tears. No, he would not cry! He wouldn't! He was past this stage!

"HIKARU!" Kaoru screamed out. Hikaru broke; he started to let out soft sobs as tears poured down like a fountain. The tears connected to the floor as he heard his door start to open. However it didn't stop him from screaming at the top of his lungs as the thunder roared, one after the other. Damn you Spring! Damn you rain! And especially damn the thunder!

"HELP ME!" Hikaru yelled out. His door creaked open completely as he heard tears beside his own hit the floor. Hikaru listened to them quietly before slowly looking up. His bright yellow eyes widened as he stared at the woman at the door. Was this a vision too? Hikaru slowly sat up, sitting on his knees, his arms around his head and ears. An umbrella fell to the floor in his doorway as a soaked young woman ran toward the boy.

Hikaru stared at her as she hit the floor in front of him. The woman's bright brown eyes filled with tears as she ran and threw her arms around the boy lovingly. The force threw Hikaru and Haruhi to the floor as she dug her head into his shoulder. He felt her hot tears hit his cold skin as she tightened her grip around his neck.

"I'm sorry Hikaru! I'm so sorry!" Haruhi whispered. Hikaru felt his tears come without him knowing as he slowly wrapped his arms loosely around her as well. Slowly he sat up, bringing her with him. With her knees on each side of his legs, her head deep into his shoulder, and her thin arms wrapped around his neck his body slowly stopped shaking. He stared in disbelief as she started to quietly cry.

"HIKARU!" The thunder cried out. Hikaru jumped and dug his head into Haruhi as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. Even though he so badly wanted to be hero it seemed that for tonight she would have to be his heroine.

"HELP ME! Please Haruhi! PLEASE HELP ME" Hikaru whimpered out. Haruhi's hands slowly started to rub his back as her sobs quietly stopped. Even though her whimpers discontinued her muscles started to become tense, as if she was holding something in. Hikaru slowly looked at her. Though he felt relieved when she was around her, was he making her hold in her own fears?

The thunder roared out again and Hikaru reached out, pushing her to the ground as he hugged her tightly, his head dug in her shoulder. As he used his back for a shield he didn't even notice that this was the same position that they had been in, in the dream. Haruhi stared at him as he suddenly pushed her down, but he soon raised his teary eyes to look into hers. His tears hit her face, as they glided down the pale beauty. He looked down into those beautiful brown eyes, and for the first time he understood the message they whispered to him:

"Hikaru….help me…please"

Hikaru reached down as tears started to glide down her face. He wiped away the tears and slowly stopped crying. Haruhi started to cry harder as she closed her eyes and tried to move her hands to hide her face. Hikaru held down her hands as he looked down at her sad face.

"….Don't cry Haruhi….please don't cry." Hikaru whispered.

"I'm scared Hikaru." Haruhi whispered as she closed her eyes tighter. He could tell she wasn't just talking about the roaring thunder outside. He slowly started to intertwine his fingers with her own as he sat over her.

"…I'll protect you Haruhi." Hikaru whispered to her. Haruhi slowly opened her brown orbs as she stared up at the boy. Choking on her own tears she tried to wipe them away, only to wipe at them with his hand since it was holding onto her own. As he felt her smooth cheek on his hand he suddenly blushed as warmth returned to his body once more.

Swiftly Hikaru lifted Haruhi up into him. Her back firmly against his chest her placed her on his lap and dug his head into the crook of her neck and shoulder. He could feel her skin start to flame as he wrapped their intertwined hands around her stomach. Her tense muscles slowly relaxed as she slowly leaned against him on her own.

And that's how they stayed. There was an understandable silence as they both relaxed and listened to the rain hitting the roof. Even the thunder seemed to die down for the both of them at the time being. Hikaru's arms were like a blanket, and Haruhi's legs provided warmth for her holder. For how long the two stayed in that position neither knew. Hikaru was just on the verge of sleep before he remembered that he had ordered his driver to take Haruhi home.

"Haruhi…why are you here?" He asked sleepily. Haruhi slowly opened her eyes and gave a small 'hnn?' before processing his question. She took in a deep breath and leaned her head back against him before closing her eyes and answering-

"I asked him to take me here." She answered sleepily. Hikaru tilted his head at this and leaned her head up a bit so that she would have to stay awake for his questioning. Holding onto her hand a bit tighter he nudged her gently.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked.

"I wanted to…" Haruhi whispered as she let out a breath and tried to get back to sleep. However Hikaru did not let this happen as he nudged her again to keep her awake. This annoyed her slightly but Hikaru continued.

"…What?" Haruhi asked him quickly.

"Just one more question I swear." Hikaru whispered as he gave a soft smile.

"Well what is it?" Haruhi asked.

"…Why were you out in the cold? In a thunderstorm none the less? What could have possibly been so important?" Hikaru asked her almost angrily. He wanted to kill whatever made his Haruhi go out in the rain like that. She must have been terrified. Of course he left her by herself in the rain as well…but he made up for it in the end! Right?

"…I-well-I-…I….I went down to the police station…they wanted to ask me some questions." Haruhi whispered as she started to shake again. Hikaru's eyes widened at her sudden reaction. What had happened at the police station that suddenly made her so scared? He looked at her face to see hot tears streaming down her cheeks and chin once more.

"I'm so sorry Hikaru." She suddenly whispered. Hikaru looked at her oddly as she tried to get out of his arms. She whispered something like 'I gotta go' but he quickly grabbed onto her. Holding her to him he felt his heart break every time that her body shook with a sob.

"I'm sorry Hikaru! I'm really sorry!" Haruhi yelled out as she tried to escape him. Hikaru held her down in his lap as he felt tears in his eyes as well. He didn't know what Haruhi did, but couldn't have done anything to deserve this.

"Haruhi hush! It's ok! It's ok!" He whispered into her ear. He saw her shake once more and held onto her body tighter as she seemed to give up. Hiding her face in her hands she bent over his arms into her knees. He pulled her back up quickly and pressed her head into his chest as he put his head on top of her own.

"Please tell me what's wrong Haruhi." Hikaru whispered as he held onto her body. Haruhi's lips pursed together as her tears slowly stopped. She looked up at Hikaru and took in a deep breath. Hikaru watched her as she let out a sigh and repeated her actions.

"…Hikaru….Hikaru I-" She was cut off by a huge rang of thunder. She screamed and even made Hikaru yelp a bit. They held onto each other's shoulders tightly and dove their heads in for each other's shoulders only to be blocked by each other's heads. Their foreheads pressed together, Haruhi shaking, her eyes closed tightly and soft breaths escaping her lips Hikaru couldn't help but stare.

Without her knowing he studied her face and lips, her scared expression and frail fingers that held onto his shoulders. Without her knowing he held onto her shoulders a little bit tighter and moved his head a bit closer. Without her knowing he stared down on her like an angel, like someone that he wanted to protect. Without her knowing he slowly took that fragile hand and held onto it with all of his might.

"….It's ok….you don't need to tell me Haruhi." Hikaru whispered as the lightning silhouetted their two bodies. Darkness soon came, along with a round of thunder and Haruhi's small whimper. Hikaru held onto her hand as tightly as he could and made her quiet herself a bit.

"I'll forgive you though…you know that right? Whatever it is that you're sorry for…I will forgive you." Hikaru whispered to her. Haruhi flinched and bit her lip as she shook her head, making him shake his head as well. He grabbed onto her chin, making her stop and look up at him.

"I will Haruhi. I will forgive you. Do you know why?" Hikaru asked her. Haruhi slowly looked away, then back at him as she shook her head again. He leaned a bit closer so that she could see the truth in his eyes. He didn't want her to try and say he was lying.

"Because you have no idea how much stupid stuff you have forgiven me for" Hikaru whispered with a small, sad laugh. Haruhi's eyes watered again as she opened her mouth once more to speak. A small sob escaped her as she whispered out-

"You don't understand Hikaru I did something bad…I did something…horrible." Haruhi sobbed out as she looked down at the ground. Hikaru quickly grabbed her face again and made her look back up.

"Believe me when I say this Haruhi…" Hikaru whispered with tears. He wanted so much to protect the one that sat before him. He hated seeing those tears on her face and he sought to make them go away as fast as possible. At that moment Hikaru felt like screaming out everything that was going through his mind.

"I love you Haruhi." He whispered as reassuringly as he could. Haruhi didn't seem to take this seriously however, as she answered in the same nonchalant tone-

"Yea I love you too Hikaru." Haruhi whispered as she used his hand once more to wipe away the tears on her face. Hikaru felt a part of him be stabbed by the words, but he refused to give up. He set his cat like eyes on her angrily as he moved her head up with his own.

"I do Haruhi! I love you! That's why I want to protect you!" Hikaru said quickly. Though before Kaoru died he never would have admitted his love for the girl, the death of a person that close to him made him realize how much he needed to live. It made him realize how much he wanted her to know.

"I know Hikaru." Haruhi said as she looked away again. Hikaru looked down at the ground as he felt tears hit the floor. Why didn't she believe him? He had never told anyone but Kaoru that he loved them, what did she think she was a host?

"How can I prove it Haruhi? How can I prove it to you?" Hikaru asked quickly. Haruhi sighed softly and looked away from his sad eyes. Hikaru held onto her hands tightly before he slowly let them go. He looked down at the ground and started to talk.

"You're so scary Haruhi…you've got the entire host club wrapped around your finger, you're beautiful and you don't fall for any of the old tricks. You are my best and only friend and everyone is coming after you….you don't have any faults and are one of the smartest girls in school….it's so scary…it's so scary trying to get closer to you. It's like getting burned by getting close to a star!" Hikaru sobbed out. He wanted so badly to get closer to her, to break down that wall that separated all of them, but…he couldn't…

No one could get that close to the sun…

"Now you won't even believe me when I straight out tell you how I feel." Hikaru whimpered out.

"Do you know how angry I was when I heard Tamaki was the one that got to take you out? And seeing you so beat up afterwards…don't you trust me Haruhi?" Hikaru quickly asked as he looked up at the shocked girl.

"I really want you to trust me…to turn to me…I want to help you….you have no idea how much I want to help you." Hikaru whispered as he put his head against hers again. Giving a soft whimper he held onto her hands again he looked down at the now tiny brown eyes.

"Can't you understand that Haruhi?" He asked her sadly. Thunder struck once more and Haruhi squeaked, quickly jumping up upon Hikaru. He felt his heart race as he was faced with two sweet pink lips right in front of his own. Her eyes shut tight and her heart beating fast he was sure that she hadn't noticed what she was doing.

"Fine…don't believe me Haruhi." Hikaru whispered softly. Haruhi slowly opened an eye and looked at their current position. She yelped in embarrassment and gave a small sorry before throwing her hands off of him. Sadly this made him fall off balance as they both fell down on the floor.

Haruhi's lips crashed down upon Hikaru's.

And at that moment, the world of Ouran Host Club came crashing down forever…


	6. The Change In Fears Again

Awk·ward: (adjective)

1. Embarrassing or inconvenient; caused by lack of social grace

2. Hard to deal with; difficult; requiring skill, tact, or the like: an awkward situation;

3. Requiring caution; somewhat hazardous; dangerous:

4. Accidentally kissing your best friend; being soaking wet as you lie on top of him; hesitating to get up

Yes, if there was a word for the situation that Haruhi and Hikaru were in 'awkward' would have to be the best choice. Thoughts ran a wild in both of their minds as Haruhi laid on top of Hikaru, her lips pressed harshly against his own. She felt her limbs unable to move as she stared, wide eyed down at him. His eyes, just as scared, stared into her brown orbs as he held onto the ground tightly. He felt like he was being stabbed by a thousand pins, and caressed by a blanket of silk at the same time.

Hikaru, being a boy, couldn't help but notice the little things about Haruhi that moment that made him turn a harsh red. Like a tomato blowing up Hikaru's face started to become neon red as he noticed exactly how much Haruhi had grown over the past couple of months…

Her entire body soaked to the bone he could see her tiny frame shiver as her chest fell against him. Her thin legs were intertwined with his, her arms on each side of his chest as her head remained on top of his. Hikaru started to feel sweat run down his face as he shut his eyes tightly. He couldn't look at that scared face anymore. Hikaru started to feel dizzy as he felt terror rising in his body.

She was scared; did she not want to kiss him? Well of course it was an accident but- was being with him such a terror to her? Did the one person he longed to be with for the rest of his life not want to have anything to do with him? Hikaru laughed nervously in his head as he felt his lunch stir in his stomach. Oh god he felt nauseous. Can't breathe, gonna faint- oh no-going down!

Hikaru felt his soul leaving his body when he suddenly felt a bit of movement from his hostess. He slowly opened an eye to see that she had relaxed greatly, and had slowly picked herself up off of him. Pushing her bangs to the side of her face she did not look of any kind of emotion. At least to the naked eye, but Hikaru knew what she was really doing. She was so freaked out she was calm...

Hikaru started to giggle lightly. Nonchalantly she took in a deep breath and sat in front of him. Hikaru blinked rather dumbly as he stared at her.

She had such a cute expression on her face. She was obviously fighting back embarrassment, yet also trying to analyze the situation at the same time. He laughed to himself and slowly sat up as he crossed his legs and put his head on his wrist. His eyes softened as he watched her fidget within her own self, her hands tapping the floor quickly.

"That was an accident, you know that right Hikaru?" Haruhi said with a stern face as she crossed her arms quickly. Hikaru slowly smiled and closed his eyes. He had forgotten how fun the urge to play with Haruhi was. She was such a unique specimen. She could keep her calm in the best situations, but oh when she popped, she popped…

"What- you mean that **kiss?**" Hikaru teased. He could see a small shiver run through Haruhi's spine at the mere word. Hikaru laughed inside of himself as she let out a breath and then forced a nod. She couldn't even admit what had just happened. The girl bit her lip and then looked away before answering-

"Well it's not that big of a deal anyways right…I've already been kissed and you've already been kissed…so it's not like it was anything new." Haruhi whispered stubbornly as she blushed a bright red, now unable to hide her true self any longer. At this Hikaru's head snapped up with a blush as well. He had forgotten this wasn't her first kiss, but did the other really count? After all that was an accident and this- well…this was an accident too, but that was beside the point! It was different with him!

"Well I mean it's not exactly like that…" Hikaru pointed out blushing lightly as he rubbed the back of his head. Haruhi's head snapped over to him as her eyes went from scary fierce to their normal soft brown. She suddenly tilted her head at the boy as a small breath let itself out of her mouth.

"Hikaru, you have been kissed before haven't you?" Haruhi inquired as she slowly made her way back over to him. Hikaru's eyes slowly formed on her as she crawled toward him, he gulped and slowly slipped backwards as if protecting himself from doing something he shouldn't. Hikaru laughed nervously before Haruhi's eyes widened again.

"You haven't have you!" Haruhi gasped out. Hikaru looked away from her before giving her a stubborn look that she hadn't seen in such a long time. The girl laughed a bit before he turned his back to her.

"Well…no. What do you think I am Haruhi a man-whore?" He asked looking behind his back. Haruhi rolled her eyes before she came up and leaned her head against his shoulder. His eyes slowly drifted down onto the top of her head as she let out a soft giggle.

"Well no…but I mean, you were in the host club longer than me, and I was certain you had kissed Kaoru at least once with all of that talk you had in front of the girls…" Haruhi commented as she slowly brought her head off of him. Part of Hikaru was glad, for her chin was digging into his shoulder blade and it had started to hurt, but more of him would have put up with the pain just to sit with her in that position a bit longer.

"Haruhi please. He's my brother. Touching his inner thigh and making S&M jokes is way different than actually kissing him." Hikaru said matter-of-factly. Haruhi stared at him for a little bit before she rolled her eyes again and started to stand up. The soft patting of the rain snapped Hikaru out of his thoughts as he looked up at the woman. Her hair fell against her shoulders, water still dripping down onto her soaked clothes as they hugged at her curves. He smiled to himself.

"Well I'm glad my first kiss was with you. Accident or not." Hikaru said charmingly as he smiled and slowly pushed himself up as well. The boy went over and sat on his bed, he could see that she was nervous and probably wanted to leave as soon as possible. He didn't really blame her. He looked behind his shoulder to see her staring at the door with a tender expression on her gentle face.

"…Would you have stayed if I was Tamaki?" Hikaru asked gently. Haruhi froze and brought her hands up to her chest to put a barrier between herself and the rest of the world. That question had not just been asked, had it? She shook her head quickly, she must have heard wrong. The girl took her jacket off the floor but before she could even get up she heard Hikaru's voice call out again-

"…Would you have looked at him so scared? Or blushed so fiercely? Would you have jumped off of him? Or grabbed your coat so quickly?" Hikaru asked without much emotion behind his words. He didn't seem to be too angry or jealous, if anything his voice held curiosity, like he was writing a novel and wanted to know what would have happened had the ending been different.

"Well I see you are feeling well enough to make fun of me Hikaru…now if you don't mind-" Haruhi let out a scoff before starting toward the door. Hikaru let his body fall to the bed, half of his legs hung off the bed lightly as his torso relaxed on the soft mattress.

"I'm not making fun of you Haruhi. I'm just…curious." Hikaru whispered as he closed his eyes. Haruhi stopped and bit her lip as she tried to figure out whether or not to answer the question. Before she could figure it out however, Hikaru started to shift on the bed uncomfortably.

"…You were really jealous when that pastry Éclair girl came and took Tamaki away weren't you? You even left me alone, injured, so you could go after him." Hikaru whispered. Haruhi's eyes widened as she blushed and turned around quickly. He knew that wasn't true! Kaoru was with him, and they both wanted her to go!

"You love him right? That's why you-" Hikaru cut himself off and then slowly sighed before closing his bright eyes. It wasn't worth it anymore. He could hear Haruhi's angry steps coming toward him, but he didn't try and move, it was too much work to try and stop her in this stage.

"You know what Hikaru!" Haruhi called out angrily. She looked down at the calm boy and pointed a finger at him. She tried to yell but couldn't find the right words. It was true that she was very jealous when she found out about Éclair, but wasn't that to be expected? How could he act this way to her, when he knew the real story!

"You're just a jerk! You know that's now what happened! We're just…We're just friends!" Haruhi yelled out as she blushed and brought her hand back down quickly. Her face twisting with anger she let out a low growl. Hikaru slowly picked himself up, only to look at her with an emotionless stare.

"Oh I'm a jerk now? Just a few minutes ago you were clinging onto me for dear life. I'm pretty sure you didn't think I was a jerk then." Hikaru whispered. Haruhi's face became a bright red again before she let out a huffed breath. How dare he talk down on her like that? Hikaru's eyes widened as he swore he saw a small fire burning in Haruhi's eyes as she growled and whispered.

"You know what Hikaru-" Before she could speak Hikaru grabbed onto her chin and made her look into his eyes. He smiled sweetly before letting a cute blush come onto his cheeks. He laughed slightly making her blush an even deeper red as he leaned his head back down onto her own.

"Would you let me kiss you…if I was Tamaki?" Hikaru whispered in a low voice. Haruhi became scarlet as her eyes widened and she slowly closed her eyes. The girl's burning face smacked against his forehead to leave her alone as she backed up and brought her hands up to her face quickly.

"No! What are you an idiot? I wouldn't let any of you bastards kiss me." Haruhi said quickly as she blushed and looked back down at the ground. Hikaru slowly smiled and reached out for her. She didn't move away, maybe it was because secretly she wanted him to grab her, or she just didn't seem him, whatever the reason his large hands wrapped gently around her wrist before pulling her to him.

"I thought we agreed to be honest with one another Haruhi…all of us fine bachelors and you wouldn't let ONE of us kiss you? Now that's just unreal Haruhi…" Hikaru stated as he smirked. The boy held onto her hands as he started to intertwine his fingers within her own. He felt her thighs shaking slightly against his knee caps as she stood in front of him.

Her hands didn't move but he felt her legs slowly lean into his own. Though he was sure she didn't notice this herself. Her eyes were darted angrily onto him as he slowly wrapped his arms under her thighs, causing her to buckle and sit on him. The girl twitched unhealthily and only made a weak attempt to move her hands from his.

"Haruhi…do you love him…or me?" Hikaru asked her seriously. The girl's hair seemed to shiver as she turned her head away from him angrily. What the hell was up with all of these questions out of the blue? The girl crossed her arms, but she did not move from his lap.

"Fuck you." Haruhi whispered. Hikaru started to laugh as he held onto her tighter, pulling her closer to him. She looked back at him with a small blush as her angry face slowly turned into that of a confused little girl. Hikaru smiled and brought her hand up to his lips as he kissed it tenderly.

"You know one day you're going turn me into lesbian Hikaru." Haruhi whispered as he laughed slightly. The boy held onto her hand tighter and kissed her hand again, this time not trying to hide how much he loved her softness.

"You're so not cute, and your hands are like sandpaper." Hikaru commented bluntly as he smiled and slowly brought his head to look back at her. He saw her angry look return once more before she started to smile. Her smile broke into laughter as tears started to roll down off of her cheeks like a suddenly turned on fountain.

Hikaru's eyes widened as his mouth dropped, he hadn't meant to make her cry! Oh shit! What had happened? First she was mad at him, and then she was smiling and crying? Hikaru's soul started to leave him again as he laughed nervously. Haruhi wrapped her arms around him gently before putting her laughing face into his shoulder.

"Haruhi why are you crying? I didn't mean it! I was just kidding!" He said quickly. The girl laughed harder, causing more tears to flow onto him as she brought her head back to look at him. With one of the sweetest smiles he had seen on her face in a long time she laughed out-

"I forgot how much I missed that obnoxious side of you Hikaru." Haruhi laughed out as she started to wipe away the tears that lay on her face. Hikaru slowly smiled as well before wiping her tears as well. The girl laughed harder as the tears continued, but Hikaru was glad…he had kept his promise…she had finally cried tears of joy for him.

"Welcome back Hikaru!" Haruhi laughed out.

Hikaru smiled lightly and nodded before holding onto her as she got the rest of her giggles and tears out of the tiny system in her body. Maybe it was at that moment that Hikaru felt his heart smile for the first time in what seemed to be months. Maybe it was at that moment that the rain suddenly decided that it would be quiet for the two. One thing was for sure…it was at that moment that the spotlight shone on the two.

Hikaru's thumb brushed over Haruhi's lip as he looked down at the girl. Her eyes were still closed from laughing and he smiled contently. It was at moments like this that he was so happy he was alive, just to see her beautiful smile and face. It was at moments like this that he could sit with her content for hours at a time. However, Hikaru was greedy…

He leaned in quickly, grasping her lips into his own. Since it had happened only a few moments before it was much less awkward and a lot easier to control. Hikaru held onto her tightly as he pulled her into the kiss, scared for a moment for he had not felt anything in return. But gradually he started to feel her legs press up against him as she pushed her head into his own making the kiss a bit forced.

If he could have described it, it was like playing spin the bottle and you just happened to be paired up with your crush. You don't want them to know how you feel so you both press as quickly as you can to be considered a real kiss before pulling back like they had the plague.

Haruhi was obviously very tense, and he didn't blame her, he was nervous as well. After all, where the hell would they go from here? What would happen to them? Could they pass this off as the border between friends and **really **good friends? As they stayed in the awkward position Hikaru tried to think of something to do, he really wanted to make this work, but-

That's when Haruhi did something heavenly. She reached out with her free hand and leaned into his body before running her hands through his hair through the kiss. Hikaru's eyes opened quickly on accident as she did this. He felt his body start to melt as its usual reaction, and he felt his eyes slowly start to drape closed. So this was her plan…well played Haruhi. Well played…

Hikaru felt a purr escape his mouth. He immediately blushed and pulled away from the kiss as Haruhi put her hand on her own pink lips. She started to laugh a little as Hikaru looked away out of embarrassment. In an attempt to cover up for his slip Hikaru went back to making fun of her.

"You're such a liar Haruhi. You did kiss one of us." Hikaru quickly said. Haruhi laughed slightly and then decided to tease him back. It was a bit of an awkward moment at first, but this was still Hikaru and Haruhi. They could fight for hours then suddenly be on top of one another to see who would give in first.

"Well you act as much like a cat as you look one Hikaru" Haruhi said quickly. Hikaru blushed but grabbed onto her arms before turning her so that she was the one lying onto the bed, him over her. She blushed quickly before he smiled and then let go of her hands. Haruhi blinked and waited for him to make a notification of what he was doing.

"Haruhi…I never asked, but are you ticklish?" Hikaru asked tilting his head. Haruhi eyed him but shook her head slowly. He tested this out by putting his hand on her side. She raised a brow at him but did not laugh as he tested out her senses. He tried her foot and neck with the same reaction. Hikaru growled and plopped down next to her.

"You're no fun." He whispered before closing his eyes. Haruhi slowly smiled before turning over onto her stomach and poking his rubs. Hikaru smiled quickly before he tweaked a bit, turning onto his side. She eyed him before testing it out again by leaning up and poking him once more. Haruhi heard a muffled laugh from the boy before her bright brown eyes suddenly brightened with a glimmer of evil.

"Hikaru…you're ticklish." Haruhi whispered. Hikaru shook his head quickly but she started to give off a bit of a maniacal laughter. She held out her hands like fake guns before poking him in the stomach over and over again. Hikaru eventually burst as he started to let out a laugh. He held his stomach in an attempt to stop her, but she climbed over his body and dug under his arms to reach his ticklish spot.

"Ah Haruhi stop! You're evil I hope you know that!" Hikaru whined out as he started to laugh again. Hikaru didn't seem to care however as she continued with what she was doing. Hikaru tried his best to regain the advantage that he once had, but it seemed useless. However as he laughed he did manage to get a glimpse of her amused face while he wasn't begging her to stop or gasping for breath.

Haruhi was now laughing so hard she herself had to stop for breath. Wrapping her arms around her stomach she tried to gasp in what she had lost. Hikaru, though also short on breath, saw this as an opportunity and reached out, throwing her back onto her spot on the bed. He smirked and pinned her arms down so she couldn't move before she gave him a confident smirk.

"I already proved to you I'm not ticklish Hikaru" Haruhi whispered with a smile. Hikaru slowly pulled her up to him as he dug his head into her sweet smelling neck. She had put on that perfume that he had learned to love so much. His hands slowly traveled down her arm, rubbing it lightly making her give a soft sigh as she let her eyes fall in relaxation. Hikaru slowly smiled and placed his hand on her thigh making her eyes immediately open. He moved his hand down slowly as it passed her knee. Haruhi gave a soft giggle.

"I knew it!" Hikaru laughed out pushing her off of him. She blushed and brought her legs up to her chest quickly so he couldn't pull a stunt like that on her again. He smiled and knew he would have his chance eventually. Oh…and he would get her back good. Haruhi bit her lip as her shoulders shifted a bit toward him. He noted this and noticed how her hands were playing with the sheet beneath them, as if they were inching toward his own.

Hikaru tilted his head a bit before he shrugged and leaned in, catching her lips quickly before parting. She stared at him with a confused stare before he slowly sat back up and gave her a quick smile.

"Well you should probably get hom-" Hikaru was cut off as Haruhi's hands wrapped around his cheeks quickly as she pulled herself up and caught his lips again. Hikaru stared at the totally relaxed girl wide eyed as he slowly let his own eyes fall. Her hands cupping his face he felt his entire body melt into her own as he grabbed her curved back and pulled her back toward him.

Haruhi pulled away from his lips for a moment, before he in turn gave into the temptation that she was setting and leaned in for his prize. He never knew how much he loved the scent and feel of her, the comforting presence and kind person he always knew was deep inside her. But she had also awakened something that he had no felt in a long time, even with Kaoru. Passion…

Passion for life, passion to live…passion for her…for everything about her, and so as the two figured out what to do throughout the kiss Hikaru couldn't have been happier with the one that he got to be with. Maybe it was because something horrible happened to him, and God was making it up to him. Or maybe it was because they just needed a little push to get to this spot.

Whatever it was…he was happy. And wasn't that what moving on was all about?


	7. The News Of The Departure

The light of a new day shined in through Haruhi's window as she stood in the kitchen, flipping some pancakes over the stove as she sighed. Her eyes were staring off into something besides the work she was doing as her mind tried to unravel the mystery that was last night. First she had been scared out of her wits needing protection, and then she was the one protecting? Then why had they suddenly ended up on the bed, the world suddenly forgotten?

The girl blushed at the thought before pushing her hair behind her ears. It wasn't like they hadn't done anything normal teenagers wouldn't do; in fact, kissing was readily accepted by society now a days. At least they hadn't done anything more. Haruhi's face now turned a bright red as she used one hand to cover her mouth instinctively. Even though they didn't do anything more…she wanted to.

Haruhi shook the thought out her head quite literally as turned her head this way and that so quickly and ferociously that there were small black dots preoccupying her mind. The woman started to work with full force on finishing her task at hand as she pushed the event to the back of her mind. Her fingers twitched as she tried once more to flip the now burning pancake. Her eyebrows pushed together in anger as it stuck to the pan. She pushed down with full force making it fly up in the air. She gave a small "Eep!" and ducked as it hit the floor where her head would have been.

"Stupid pancake!" Haruhi whispered. She heard a muffled chuckle coming from behind her and she suddenly turned tense. She turned around on her toes and stared at her father who was now freely laughing at her clumsy act. The girl blushed an even deeper color than she thought possible and looked away before bending down and starting to clean up her mess.

"What are you laughing about? Not like you can cook anything better" Haruhi muttered as she took a cloth and turned on the water before soaking it underneath the fountain as she tried to find places to look that wouldn't include her father's presence. That really was a clumsy act of her. Turning away again she felt her father's arms wrap around her waist, his bony chin digging into her shoulder. The bright brown eyes that had been clouded by guilt and regret looked at him now with a new shine. The man smirked before kissing her cheek.

"Nothing…I just haven't seen a flustered side of you in a while. Nothing happened last night…right?" He asked giving her the all time father-I-know-all stare of doom. Haruhi merely rolled her eyes and slipped out of his arms, letting him fall down onto the floor as she continued to cook. Determined to get down to the bottom of his daughters sudden change in personality her father continued.

"It didn't have anything to do with that Tamaki guy did it?" He asked, a sudden burst of flames flicking around him at the mere thought of the blonde haired beauty trying to swoon his daughter into doing something indecent. He could literally feel Haruhi's heavy sigh from his place as he watched her continue to try and cook him breakfast.

The man smiled lightly and decided to ease up- just a little bit…

"Well if you don't want to tell me I suppose I understand." He whispered as he leaned over her and poked the pancake that seemed decent enough to eat with a fork. He rounded his fork into it, cutting off a piece as he held it in front of Haruhi's face. She bobbed her head in and stole it off of his fork before going back to cooking. The man blinked before smiling happily. She really was back to normal, back to his little baby girl…

He laughed lightly and threw his arms around her shoulders without a care. His body shook as he laughed, leaning his head up as he kissed her cheek. The man tightened his grip on her and twirled the girl's tiny frame around as he heard her small giggles. He set her down as she looked back at him with such an open mouthed childish smile; he felt himself glow a little inside.

"What was that for?" Haruhi asked with a laugh.

"Nothing. Just glad to have such a wonderful daughter is all" He replied coolly as he took his breakfast and placed it in his mouth. Haruhi, seeing him eat the meal she had prepared, grabbed her backpack which was beside her, and started toward the door.

"Have a good day Haruhi!" Her father chimed out. Haruhi looked back at him with a nod before closing the door softly behind her, her tiny frame hurrying down the stairs in an attempt to get to her homeroom class before the late bell rang. In her eyes things were just starting to return to normal, all of the pain that they had been suffering up until then would magically start to float away. Though this was almost just a dream in her eyes, last night certainly was a start. How could she have known that after that day- everything was going to change…

The school had returned to normal. Haruhi had not noticed it up until today, but the tears of young women had dried and everything resumed as it should have. Of course people were still upset about the departure of the second born twin, but they were learning to move on with their lives and balance their sorrow out with happiness. After all they were allowed to be happy right?

Haruhi nodded to herself as she looked around for Hikaru, he was nearly out of sight from her and she didn't like losing him. She was always afraid he would run off back home and lock himself into his room, and she would never know. The girl sighed as she smacked her head and started in a bit of a goose chase for him; she still had some time before school started so finding the boy wouldn't be much of a problem..

"Haruuuuuuu- chhhhaaaannnnnn!" A high pitched squeal yelled out. Haruhi turned slightly as she spotted a sugar high blonde running toward her. She yelped as his hands wrapped around her, spinning her into circles as she laughed very lightly, her hands wrapping around the boys small frame.

"Honey-sempai! It's been so long!" Haruhi felt the boy hug her as he dug his head into her chest lightly. The woman smiled and rubbed his hair when she spotted Mori watching from a fair distance away. She laughed and waved happily, hearing him give a grunt of approval as he smiled that small sweet smile of his. He walked over and rubbed the top of Haruhi's head sweetly as she smiled and closed her eyes like a satisfied kitten.

"Oh Haruhi! We're going to miss you so much!" Honey chimed out as he squeezed the girl tighter, making her choke slightly. Haruhi laughed and looked down at the sweet addicted boy before raising a brow curiously at what he had said. What was going on? Was he leaving her for some reason? That was when the answer hit her.

Of course….graduation was coming up soon. Haruhi's eyes became soft with sorry as she slowly set the boy back down onto the ground. He kept talking, thinking that he was hearing her, but her mind was spinning. How had this week, no this month, passed by so fast? Things were just passing by her like a roller coaster, but she found herself wanting more and more just for it to slow down. Just a moment- she wanted to take each day for its twenty four hours- she didn't want it to pass by this quickly. Soon Honey and Mori-sempai would be gone…and she wouldn't see them at school any more.

Since she had been banned from the host club it was very rare that she got to see everyone. Even at times that they passed by her in the morning she didn't pay much attention to it. She was still so used to just being with them every day, she thought that a hello and a smile were good enough to pass. Would they still be able to keep their friendship strong even after graduation? Haruhi didn't know… there was no way that she could know…

The only reason that she came to Ouran was to get a good future settled for her. She wanted to make sure that her dad didn't have to work, and that she would be well looked after when it came to money. Back then she didn't even care about friends and such, of course the public school had a good education, but she had escaped to Ouran to have a solitary confinement for herself. She didn't want friends to distract her, so who could have known that things would end up this way?

With Tamaki always bugging her and Kyouya on her tail about the money, Hikaru and Kaoru sexually harassing her every day, and being talked down to like a child by a man who never spoke and an adult who looked like a child, she never thought that she would learn to love each and every one of them so much. The girl's eyes watered somewhat as she thought about what she would do if they all just went away on her like Kaoru did. After all, these things always strike when you least expect it.

Her mother was the strongest woman that she knew, yet she died of an illness right in front of her eyes. She remembered that night well, she remembered how the thunder and lightning roared, making it impossible for the ambulance to get to her mother in time. She recalled the way that her father clung onto the woman for dear life, tears streaming down onto her chest as he held her to him. What Haruhi remembered most however, was the way that her mother's hand fell from Haruhi's own tiny palms as the last of her life escaped her…

Now with the two graduating she was nearly horrified with all of the possibilities. In only two more years she would be out of school and on her own, yet she had still not achieved anything that she wished to do.

The girl watched Honey as he jumped around with half closed eyes. What about Tamaki? He would be graduating the year after this…what is those days just passed by as well? Haruhi felt a rock drop in her stomach as she thought about this fact. She wanted to know more about them…

She wanted to know their secrets and understand them just a little bit more before they left. She wanted to understand why Tamaki acts so chipper. And she wanted to know why Kyouya was so cold on the outside, and so warm on the inside. She wanted to understand Mori's silence and Honey's fascination and never ending stomach. Haruhi closed her eyes as she felt a small amount of that depression she had hid so well stir up inside of her. She would never get that chance if everything kept going like it did.

The girl flinched slightly, making Honey stop his tiny rant as he blinked cutely up at her. His eyes suddenly turned sad as he noticed that look in her eye that only a man of his age could see. Tamaki and Hikaru were rather dense to a woman's pain, but he could see it loud and clear- as if she was sobbing right in front of him. The boy slowly walked over and wrapped his arms around her legs.

"…It's ok Haruhi…we'll come and see you…we'll go to Paris and everything…you'll really love it there." Honey whispered as he felt Haruhi tense slightly.

She slowly nodded and patted the boys head, rubbing his blonde locks in a bit of a daze. He opened his eyes half way as he felt Haruhi bend down, picking him up as she would a child. He smiled happily and wrapped his arms around her neck as she dug her head into his shoulder sadly, her nails slightly digging into his back. Honey did not flinch nor did he whimper as Haruhi expected him to as she took in a deep breath of the boy's shoulder. At the moment she didn't care that he was a few years older than her and she was holding him like a child- she just needed his warmth and kindness. He understood…he understood almost everything about her, so why couldn't she understand him?

"Honey-sempai…" Haruhi whispered sadly. Honey smiled very lightly as he patted Haruhi's head gently. Haruhi looked up at his hand as she laughed somewhat. No tears were in her eyes but she was still obviously upset, about what, even Haruhi couldn't figure out. Maybe it was the fact that so much had happened without her noticing, it might have even been because of what had happened last night. She didn't know…

"Honey-sempai why do I feel like sobbing right now?" Haruhi asked softly as she held onto the boy a bit tighter. Honey closed his eyes and continued to rub the girl's hair. It had grown a bit, already down to her shoulders. He often saw her playing with her hair, twirling it in her fingers in the hallway between classes as she waited for Hikaru, who had most likely done something wrong and had to stay after class.

"…It's because you're realizing that things are changing Haruhi…and you can't stop them." Honey whispered. Haruhi nodded some but did not lift her head, she felt safe like this. Honey continued to whisper little nothings into her ear to calm her down as she they waited for Hikaru or Tamaki to show up. This would probably force Haruhi to return to her normal self, but she didn't care. Haruhi took in a deep breath before she lifted herself again, slowly setting Honey down.

"…Feel better?" Honey asked cutely. She nodded somewhat as he took her hand and started to lead her to class. Haruhi's bright brown orbs looked around her as she noticed that she hadn't seen Hikaru anywhere. Maybe he really wasn't at school today? The woman suddenly felt panic rise in her as she held onto Honey's hand a bit tighter, what could have happened that would have made him miss school?

"…I hope he's ok." Haruhi whispered softly as Honey led her into the bright hallways of the school that she had forgotten.

"Pr-Pregnant?" Hikaru choked out. The boy slowly searched for the chair as he fell into it, his legs flopping up a bit while his wide eyes stared into space, his mouth open out of shock. Today had started out a little bit better than most. He had woken up without tears on his face, and his dreams were filled with normalcy. He had gotten up, kissed his mother on the cheek, glared at his step father, and eaten the breakfast prepared for him.

His mother had moved on from Kaoru's death rather quickly, for she was always busy with business or some new project. Day after day she would produce masterpiece's of clothing, inspired by the no doubt storm of feelings within her. However she had been paying shrinks to come to the house for her to talk out her woes, always dropping names and mentioning superficial findings. Hikaru wasn't angry at her for this, but for some reason he hated the sight of his mother and step father talking about their problems in front of someone they barely even knew. Sometimes they wouldn't even talk about Kaoru; they would merely go on about things to receive pity and encouragement from the others.

So why had something so heavy and horrid hit him this early in the morning? Hikaru rubbed his temple as sweat started to drift down his forehead. What exactly had happened? When had this happened? Hikaru looked up at the two people in front of him as he shook his head.

"You're kidding me right?" He asked gently. The woman shook her head, her hair following after her swiftly as she bent down next to Hikaru. She played with his hands for a bit, slowly unraveling his fist so that she could hold onto his palms. Hikaru tore his hands away from her as he stood, pushing the chair down as he turned away from them. This was the worst kind of betrayal that he had ever felt in his entire life.

"…Hikaru please…" The woman whispered. She tried to get closer to him but only ended up pulling back. She was a fragile woman with a tiny figure and a gentle face. Her hair fell off of her shoulders as she suddenly rushed forward, wrapping her arms around Hikaru as she held onto him closely. The woman had been so happy about the pregnancy, and she was sure that Hikaru would have been overjoyed about it as well. So why had Hikaru reacted in such a way? Didn't he want this?

"How could you just forget Kaoru so easily?" Hikaru yelled, throwing the woman off of him. She stumbled back a bit; she had never seen him act this way before. The boy stood stubbornly, still holding back the tears in his eyes. He suddenly felt like running into Haruhi's arms and crying into her shoulder- but Haruhi wasn't here; he was alone.

"Hikaru…we aren't forgetting Kaoru…darling please you've got to understand that, we're not replacing him, we're just adding a new member to the family. Don't you want a baby brother?" The woman asked gently. Hikaru turned to his mother angrily, now losing any sense of decency that he had been putting up. He raised his arm and threw it down, slamming onto the table.

"I HAVE A BABY BROTHER!" Hikaru screamed as he stared at the floor. This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening, there was no way that something like this would happen! The boy backed away, crashing into the wall as he felt his entire world start to crash. His mother was having a new child, and so soon after Kaoru's death? Hikaru felt an unfamiliar anger rise up in him as he started to slam at the wall with his fist again, making his mother flinch as she backed away.

"Hikaru…darling please…" She whispered. Hikaru shook his head quickly, his mind was blurry and nothing was coming easily to him anymore. The boy grabbed something off the floor as he headed to his room. He had no idea what he was doing, but it was better than looking at his mother's face at the moment. She knew that he was still upset over Kaoru, and she knew what would happen if she didn't take her birth control. This was all planned so she would have a new baby to take in her sorrow and time. This wasn't because she wanted a baby, or that she was ready for another child- no!

This was an act of pity for herself, and a publicity stunt. Imagine how high her fashion design labels would go if they found out she was going to be having another baby right after she lost her son. It's a miracle, they would say. What good fortune they would scream. All that ran through Hikaru's mind however was the fact she was using a baby's life for her own. Hikaru grabbed his bag, which he had been filling with clothes and things that he would want, and headed out the door. He didn't even glance at his mother as she yelled at him to wait.

"I'm going to live at dad's…I can't stand this place anymore." Hikaru whispered harshly. His mother's eyes watered as she shook her head quickly, now running on her heels toward him. Hikaru stopped and gave her a heavy glare when she tried to get to him. His hands wrapped around the doorknob as he shook his head.

"…Don't run mom…you might trip and hurt the baby." Hikaru muttered under his breath as he swung his bag over his shoulders and stomped out of the house. He could hear his mothers sob from outside of the mansion, but he slammed the door anyways. Right now he didn't care if she thought she was in pain.

How long did he walk like that? How long did he just cross the streets without a car, heading toward nowhere in particular? How long did it take for him to finally realize that his feet were taking him to the airport while his head was wrapped around everything else going on inside of him? The boy didn't know, what he did know he needed to think everything through before he took another step.

"…Alright…I've got enough money on me to get me where I need to go easily…but still…" He stared off at the airport with clouded eyes. He really didn't want to leave Japan and all of his friends behind, especially Haruhi- but he had just stormed out like that and said he was leaving. If he went back now he wouldn't forgive himself. The boy sighed very lightly as he sat down on a bench in front of the airport, his hands digging in his pocket for his phone.

His father lived in America in some little place in California, he was a wine maker and found that living with the troublemaking twins and bad economy of the town was driving him crazy. He was one of those guys that really enjoyed his work, and sometimes his work came before his family. So he left, with his few belongings and share of the money he and Hikaru's mother owned.

Hikaru sighed, he really didn't want to go to his father's either. He had been there a few times during the summer and they had a fair relationship. The man wasn't mean nor was he a bad father, he just- needed his space. Hikaru couldn't blame him for that since that was exactly what he was doing now. That was all he seemed to be doing really, just running away until there was nothing he could run away from.

Hikaru looked down at that phone he had pulled out of his pocket for a few moments before he opened a new text message window, figuring that if he could just tell his father the circumstances he would allow him to come and live with him for a while. He watched the screen for a while as he imagined his mother's giddy face as she told him they would be having a new baby. Hikaru's eyes crunched together in anger as he hit the send button furiously, watching as the small letter closed and was sent off into cyber space.

Hikaru looked up at the sky for a few moments before concluding he needed to talk to Haruhi about this. Originally his plan was to leave and call her from America, but that was running away from too much. He opened up a new text message and stared at the blank screen for a while before he closed it and dialed in her number. He needed to be a man…he needed to tell her this face to face.

He dialed a few numbers hesitantly before he raised the phone to his ear. He heard it ring several times before the boy flinched at hearing someone pick it up. Haruhi's worried voice came from the other end as he remembered he hadn't been to school that day. He calmed her down, telling her that there was just some trouble at home before he thought over the delicate words to tell her of his situation.

"…Haruhi…meet me at Ouran's garden in a few minutes…ok?" Hikaru whispered gently.


	8. The Statement And The Question

Haruhi started toward the Ouran garden with an all but empty head. She was concerned to say the least about what exactly Hikaru had to say to her. The woman couldn't let her mind be at rest about the situation for there were too many possibilities about what she could have done wrong. Was he becoming scared of her because of last night? Had she, while in that nearly intoxicating state, done something to upset him or been too forward? The woman blushed again as she tried to place the thought out of her mind.

The woman spotted a plain tan bench that she could wait on, Haruhi placed her backpack down gently before sitting down, her feet crossing, her wrist popping lightly as she rolled them nervously. The girl bit her lip as she looked up at the cheery trees. They really were beautiful when they were in bloom. The soft colors always managed to calm her mind. Now however the branches were not budding but were drooping slightly from heavy rain. Haruhi sighed as she closed her eyes, her imagination getting away with itself as it attempted to analyze the signs that Hikaru had given her the night before. She was sure that was what he wanted to talk about.

A gentle hand on her shoulder made Haruhi shoot out of her trance as she looked up to find half closed yellow eyes looking down at her. Haruhi smiled happily up at him as she felt her heart start to speed double times its normal rate. Hikaru opened his mouth somewhat but closed it as he went and sat down next to the girl. Haruhi smiled sweetly, though inside she could feel her stomach start to twist and turn in anticipation. She really wished that he would just spit it out so that her mind could be at rest.

"…Hikaru?" Haruhi started as she slipped a little closer to him on the bench. Hikaru let his arms fall against his thighs as his back arched forward slightly, his head falling in defeat. He felt Haruhi's soft palms running down his head as he stared at the ground sadly. The boy lifted his hand up and took Haruhi's hand off of him before placing it back down on the bench. He felt the muscles in her hands become tense as he tried to move his fingers from her. She suddenly launched, grabbing onto his arm tightly as her wide and frightened eyes stared at him.

"I'm sorry." Haruhi whispered quickly. Hikaru sent her a soft glance as she fumbled; he had never seen her so lost. The girl ran her hand down his arm softly, still holding onto him as she tried to keep him by her side. The woman brought her knees onto the bench as she edged toward him, her head digging itself deep into his shoulder as she wrapped both of her arms around the boy's stiff limb. Hikaru rubbed the top of her head as a father would a pouting child as he smiled sadly.

"Please…just say something. If you want to yell at me please just do it." Haruhi mumbled out.

She hated this silence more than anything else.

Hikaru looked away before Haruhi slowly took herself off of him. The woman faced forward, placing her hands in her lap as she felt her inner self start to sob, even though her outer face held a stone cold expression. Hikaru looked over at her before he placed his arm around her shoulder, pulling her back into him with a hidden force. Haruhi blinked in a confused state as he leaned down and closed his eyes, his lonely face hidden in her shoulder and neck.

"I'm sorry." Hikaru whispered into her ear as he pulled away.

The boy let go of her as he slowly stood. This was the only way; he would clear his head in California and come back a man that Haruhi could love. He didn't deserve her in the state that he was in right now, but he would. He would make sure that he deserved her! Haruhi watched him stand as his feet crunched into the loose pebbles of the garden when he started to walk away. Haruhi shook her head in an irritated manner, what was going on?

"…Hikaru wait!" Haruhi yelled as she pushed herself off of the bench. Hikaru didn't look back, but continued to walk. The woman leapt forward when he continued on. She really was horrible at helping him and she knew that, she always had been one to only help herself. Haruhi's feet started into a run toward him as she took in heavy breaths. Hikaru looked back before his draped eyes widened when she started to bolt towards him. Her face was scrunched in with a look of agitation and stubbornness, something about her that he had learned to love.

"I'm sorry Haruhi!" He yelled out to her as he started in a run away from the girl. It would only be harder if he had to say goodbye. He was too much of a coward to see her face when he whispered those words to her. Haruhi let anger cross her as she tried to catch up with him. Haruhi knew who would win in these circumstances though, she was a terrible runner and all of the men in the host club were wonderful at athletics. The girl looked around for something to even up the score as she spotted the line of benches that bordered the Ouran garden. Her eyes focused on them and then on the boy that was running away from her. It was worth a shot.

Haruhi pushed herself off of the bottom of her foot as she hopped onto one of the benches, running along them she grabbed onto the top of the bench, pushing herself onto the narrow metal as she tried to keep her balance. Feeling that she was going to fall in a matter of seconds the girl jumped as high and as far as she could. Her newborn air launch made Hikaru look behind him to spot that she was not in sight. Stopping to catch his breath he found himself being thrown to the floor as a narrow weight hit him from above. The boy blinked innocently as he looked up at a watery eyed Haruhi pinning him down with her shaking limbs.

Taking in deep breaths Haruhi glared down at the boy, Hikaru stared up at her with a look that would have made a puppy's heart soften. Haruhi let hot tears glide onto him as the woman let out a soft breath before she punched the boy in the chest. Hikaru flinched slightly but only eyed her as she sat up, her body still planted on top of him. The woman dusted herself off as though she had only fallen before she turned her head away. Hikaru laughed nervously as she grabbed onto his collar and pulled him up so that he was staring into her very angry eyes.

"You expected to just leave me there wondering didn't you! SO NOT COOL HIKARU!" Haruhi yelled angrily as she shook the boy, his head bobbing back and forth as her anger got the best of her. Hikaru smiled softly and leaned his head in, catching her lips daintily. Haruhi blinked a few moments as he kissed her before the woman pushed him back down onto the ground with a large blush on her cheeks.

"Don't try and get out of this by kissing me you idiot!" Haruhi yelled in a quite annoyed tone. Hikaru laughed a little nervously since that had, in fact, been what he was planning to do. The boy felt himself being pinned down even harder against the ground as Haruhi's eyes watered again. He gave her a weak smile and stroked her soft silk cheek with a small smile as she tried her best to remain angry.

"...Um…Haruhi…you're choking me" Hikaru laughed out as Haruhi started to wring at his neck again while he smiled. The girl did not stop however as she yelled back- "GOOD!"

Hikaru's coarse hands slowly wrapped around her own tiny fist as he smiled and kissed her fingertips delicately, his mind buzzing with the right words to tell her of his situation. Haruhi eyed him but couldn't make out the words that floated about. The woman looked at him curiously as his eyes softened, his mind obviously not with her. She felt her hands slowly unravel from around him as she felt her own tears start to pour down inside her head again. Why couldn't he just let her be mad at him and end it like that?

"Haruhi I'm leaving" Hikaru suddenly whispered. Haruhi's eyes went blank for a few moments as she processed what he had said. Her hands slipped down his chest as her legs pressed up so that she was standing over him. Hikaru gulped somewhat as he stared at her fading eyes. Haruhi fell back down suddenly, making Hikaru move out his arms to catch her. Hikaru flinched and pulled her tightly to his chest.

"To America…to live with my father." He whispered.

"…Tha-that's not fair. You…you kissed me." Haruhi whispered as she stared at her nose, giving her the look of a cross four year old. Hikaru would have laughed had he not known that if he did he would once more be choked under her fierce grip. Haruhi stepped over him so that her feet were at his side, her eyes hidden from his own. Hikaru slowly sat up and rubbed her shin lightly since it was the only thing that he could reach as he waited for her to say something.

"Haruhi?" Hikaru whispered as he looked up at her face, no readable expression crossing her gentle features. Haruhi looked back at him as she bit her lip angrily. She continued to mutter something under her breath that even he couldn't make out. He finally forced himself to stand as he reached out to take her shoulder in his large hands. Haruhi however lifted up her hand, swatting it away easily while she too stood up. Hikaru blinked at her rejection and tried again only to be blocked off once more. Hikaru found this to be rather amusing and continued to try and poke Haruhi only to have her get frustrated and smack his hand away each time.

"HEY HEY! I'm mad at you! Hey-HIKARU-CUT-IT-OUT!" Haruhi mumbled as Hikaru laughed and used both hands to try and get at her. Haruhi managed to hit away his hand each time however. Haruhi gave a soft scoff as she punched Hikaru in the chest causing him to laugh harder as he held his torso in pain. Haruhi found herself laughing as well because of his idiotic expression.

"…Aha…" Haruhi took in a soft breath a she stood in front of Hikaru, her smile once more returning onto her face. The girl stepped forward, allowing herself to be closer to him as he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in as he dug his head in her shoulder, whiffing at the sweet scent. The mood turned tense once more as Haruhi wrapped her thin arms around his neck.

"Why do you have to leave Hikaru? What's going on?" Haruhi whispered. Hikaru sighed as he moved his hands from her waist to her head as he massaged the scalp that he knew was probably bustling with different daydreams of what he was about to say. Hikaru kissed her temple lightly before taking in a deep breath- he needed to be prepared for her yelling.

"…My mother, she's having a new baby boy. I know that it sounds immature but I…I couldn't handle that Haruhi. I couldn't handle it! I stormed out…I said I wouldn't come back…I told her that I was going to go live with my father from now on..." Hikaru whispered into her hair.

He tried to notice any type of change in the way that her body acted or a soft amount of fume coming out of her ears, but Haruhi did not budge. She just continued to hold on gently to his neck, her breathing steady, her eyes clear.

"…Haruhi? Did you hear me?" He questioned suddenly. Haruhi nodded as she brought her head back up. There were no tears in her eyes, nor did she look angry. Her face wasn't neutral but he still couldn't tell what she was thinking. Haruhi did nod though as she played with her fingers nervously.

"Isn't there any way that you could just go back home Hikaru? Can't we just be together a little longer?" Haruhi stated gently. Hikaru gave her a smile before he shook his head. Of course it was possible that he could go back home, they would surely take him back, but…he didn't want to go back. For some reason he hated the thought of walking right back into their open arms and back to the life that he had marinated in for so long. Hikaru nodded to himself, more than wanting to get away from his mother, his problems; he wanted to get away from himself. He wanted to escape from his old self and come back with a new slate.

"My plane leaves in an hour Haruhi…there won't be another one until morning" Hikaru answered gently. Haruhi nodded somewhat as she tried to think of ways to escape the situation that Hikaru had placed himself in, why did he have to have so much damn pride anyways?

Haruhi turned away from him, still wondering about all the ways to avoid him leaving- but she couldn't think of any that would keep them both happy. It was obvious that he wanted to leave and some fresh air outside of Japan would do him good. So why did it still hurt so much?

"Only an hour? But it takes fifty minutes just to get to the airport!" Haruhi muttered out. Hikaru nodded solemnly before she reached out her hand, a small pink staining her pale cheeks as she tipped in her fingertips, beckoning him to come and take her hand. Hikaru blinked somewhat before he gently placed his hand on top of her own, making her blush deeper as she looked down at the ground.

"If you stay at my house…can you still catch the plane in the morning?" Haruhi mumbled. Hikaru smiled somewhat before nodding, letting her dark brown orbs travel back up to him again. She weakly smiled as well before she grabbed onto his hand tighter, her feet starting to move toward the exit to the garden. Haruhi eyed the dark black road that would lead them to her home. It wasn't that far, just a mile or two- a fair walking distance. All they needed to do was turn right and they would be at her home in no time, in fact they would probably make it back before night fell across the heaven's sky. But Haruhi did something Hikaru didn't expect, she turned left.

Hikaru didn't mind going the longer way, but he knew that Haruhi hated walking, so the turn a bit of a shock to him. Maybe she didn't realize what she was doing? Hikaru shrugged it off and got closer to her, skidding to her side. During that walk they passed one shady looking home, six restaurants, two business districts, five old ladies, two crying babies, two bars, and an unbelievably beautiful sunset. However even with all of these distractions the two walked in silence, both of their eyes glued in front of them, they couldn't look back, neither to the buildings or the past, what was done was done…

They could only move forward now….

Haruhi began to fumble with her keys as she reached her apartment door. Her motor skills were nil to none at the moment and getting a key in the door wasn't the best sport for one with deafened eyes. Hikaru reached out, touching her hand gently as he wrapped his fingers around her own and the keys. Putting the key gently into its lock he turned it, resulting in a successful click as he turned the knob, the door rocking open.

Haruhi went in first, Hikaru following soon after her as she started toward the kitchen. Hikaru sat himself down on the couch as he listened to the sound of pots and pans clinking together. Hikaru listened for a while before he realized that she was in fact dropping the pans nearly every ten seconds due to lack of mind. Hikaru looked down at the ground as he brought his knees out slightly, his hands digging into his scalp as he tried to drown out the silent sorrow that she emitted.

"…Haruhi it's ok, I'll order us some dinner ok? Just come over here and relax." Hikaru whispered as he stood up, his feet leading him to the kitchen doorway as he looked for her. Haruhi was currently boiling some water, bits of steam floating from the burner due to spilled substances. Hikaru walked over to her as she tried to stir the water inside of the pot, making it clear to him that she was out of it. Hikaru wrapped both of his arms around her thin waist as he freed one of his hands and turned off the burner, pulling her a bit so that she wouldn't hurt herself on the stove.

"Hn? Oh….what's wrong Hikaru?" Haruhi asked as her head snapped up, finally taking note to what he was doing. By this point they were already in the living room. Hikaru looked at her with concerned eyes before he placed the girl down on the couch, all the while making sure that she really didn't hurt herself while he was gone. Since she looked fine Hikaru sat himself down next to her, a light sigh escaping his mouth.

"…do you want to watch a movie?" Haruhi quietly asked. Hikaru seemed a bit surprised by this, mostly due to the fact that she had a TV, none the less a video player. The boy watched as Haruhi pushed herself off of the lumpy couch with a bit of effort and headed over to what looked to be a fair sized TV in the corner. Hikaru had always thought that it was just for show and did not in fact work, but he now knew he was mistaken.

Haruhi pushed the power button and bent down, placing certain wires for the DVD player into the back of the television. The rambling of the static over the screen made Hikaru place his hands over his ears but once Haruhi placed the final wire in place the screen went into a successful black, the logo of her brand of player flashing across the monitor in triumph.

"So what would you like to watch?" Haruhi asked without much care. Hikaru in truth, didn't care either as to what they viewed, and felt as if this was one of those moments that would kill conversation. It was somewhat awkward being with Haruhi, much more than other girls. Maybe it was because he cared more about what she thought than other girls, and though they were still new in the relationship business he couldn't help but feel somewhat odd around her. What should he do in this type of situation, what kind of conversation should he be talking about, and what type of mood should he set? These were all the kinds of questions that buzzed around in his head.

After all, there was so many ways that things could end up! If he chose a sad movie on accident who knows how angry she might get at him, or worse, she would start crying- and most likely not just because of the movie. In the worst case scenario she would start laughing leading to a very awkward feeling Hikaru. If the boy chose a comedy she might think that he didn't take this seriously and once more, become angry at him. Hell she might even refuse to laugh at the comedic timings and silly reference puns while Hikaru wouldn't be able to hold in his chuckles. Then there was the romantic movie…it would have suited the mood, but it would most likely be embarrassing for both of them to watch, and it might stir up something that Hikaru didn't even want to think about. Besides, what type of man would she think he would be if he chose a romantic flick over an action movie?

"….Hikaru…? Oh forget it; I'm putting in Hercules…" Haruhi answered as she watched the somewhat spastic Hikaru go from a somewhat confused face to that of an irritated old man, to a deep blush, and back again. Haruhi rolled her eyes and put in the movie before going back next to him, her body a bit closer than it had been.

Seeing Haruhi return back to him Hikaru blinked and returned to his normal state, so she had just chosen the movie?

'_What movie did she choose? What could this mean? Is the hidden language of movie selection the same for girls as it is for guys? Ahhh I'm so confused!'_

Haruhi didn't even bother to calm Hikaru down as he once more returned to throwing his head back and forth, looking as if there was a battle going on in his mind. As the movie started Haruhi eyed the window which was slowly decreasing the amount of light in the room. The sun was setting faster now. Haruhi sighed lightly and let her body fall onto Hikaru's shoulder slyly before her eyes returned to the screen.

"..Hn?" Hikaru looked over to see the beautiful woman leaning against him. Hikaru's frenzied face slowly turned into a smile as he felt a yawn coming over him. He raised his elbow, careful not to hit her face as he yawned gently. He tried to put his arm down but felt Haruhi's gently fingers wrapping around his forearm. She guided his hands over her shoulder as he chuckled somewhat, holding her to him protectively.

'_I…I wonder what she's thinking right now?_' Hikaru whispered in his mind. His bright eyes guided themselves to her beautiful face as her eyes fluttered half closed, her pink lips curling into a bright smile that made Hikaru nearly burst with pride that this beautiful goddess was leaning against his shoulder.

'…_Oh well…I suppose it doesn't matter.' _Hikaru finished in his mind as he returned his attention to the movie. Who could have really understood what was going on in Haruhi's mind anyways?

'_Ohhh…baby Hercules is so cute!' _Haruhi exclaimed in her mind as she giggled slightly, her academic mind letting the flaw that Hercules was in fact born of a mortal mother pass for a moment due to the cuteness of the giggling baby cartoon. Haruhi remembered watching the movie with her mother all those years ago. As her mother noted the things wrong the movie Haruhi would just laugh, watching with an intense passion as she cheered on the main hero of the story.

Hikaru yawned again, for some reason he was really tired. The boy let his eyes close and his head fall onto Haruhi's. Haruhi flinched and bit her lip as her eyes dipped low, his head was really heavy after all. The girl pushed his head up with her own making Hikaru hold in a laugh as he pressed his head down onto her own now purposefully. Haruhi mumbled under her breath as she fought back against him, a lot growl escaping her lips. Haruhi put her hands on the man's head as she tried to push him off.

"So can I kiss my way out of this situation?" Hikaru asked suddenly with a large smirk. He enjoyed it when things were like this, because really, with Haruhi he supposed he could say anything. No matter what was on his mind, he didn't have to read into her too much. He needed to learn that. The man smiled as she didn't answer and didn't wait for for her too as he merely leaned himself in, taking her soft lips into his. His hands traveled up her side to her cheek as he pushed her down slightly against the couch.

Haruhi didn't really know what was happening until it happened, suddenly Hikaru was on top of her, kissing her lips and cheek, occasionally dipping down onto her neck. She wasn't sure if he meant to or not, or if the fear that he wouldn't be able to do this for a long time was suddenly overcoming him, but...she didn't mind either. Haruhi merely went with what he did, though she was inexperienced in the matter and could only do what he led her to. The music and voices from the movie currently playing drowned out as the two attempted to show each other just how much they really did love each other.

After all, weren't actions better than words?

"A-ah Hikaru cut it out." Haruhi whispered finally realizing how deep they were getting themselves. Hikaru slowly lifted his head from her neck, which he had been nipping at for the past minute or so. He was pretty sure that she had been enjoying it, but her sudden call for a stop put a red flag in his mind. Hikaru looked down at her as she looked away, her hands dangling gently down his arm.

"…We don't need to do this you know. It's ok. It's not like this is the last time that I'll ever see you or anything. I'll come back if you'll wait for me." Hikaru whispered into her ear. Haruhi suddenly got a bit of a cross look on her face as she looked away.

"…I'll move on." Haruhi replied without too much emotion behind her voice. Hikaru smiled lightly as he leaned in, running his thumb down her cheek gently.

"I'll never stop thinking of you" He cooed out as the boy rubbed his nose against her, Haruhi turned, not caring for his affection.

"I'll do anything to get you off of my mind" Haruhi said angrily as she pushed his face away.

"I'll work to be a better person for you." Hikaru answered as he pushed his face back, digging his head into her neck.

"When you come back I'll reject that new man." Haruhi stated as she weakly pushed at him.

"I'll call everyday." Hikaru said in a hushed tone as he gently kissed her neck.

"I hate the phone." Haruhi whispered, her voice breaking, her body shaking.

"I love you." Hikaru whispered into her ear as he held onto her tighter than he had ever held onto her before. The woman broke, her tears spilling down as she suddenly grabbed onto him, her fingers sinking into his shirt as she started to cough out sobs, her fingernails digging into his back.

"I love you too…God I love you more than you'll ever know." Haruhi whimpered out as she sniffed and sobbed, her hands clinging onto him for dear life as her head dug itself into his skin, her entire body curling intense anger and depression over him as she let her fear for his departure fall out and into the open. Hikaru looked up, blinking away what seemed to be water in his own eyes as he bent down, curling his head into her as well as he comforted her in any way possible, his lips reaching parts of her skin to detach her mind from the woe she seemed to possess.

"..Haruhi…if you love me…I…I need to know before I leave…what happened…that night?" Hikaru whispered, holding onto her tighter as he waited for her response, her entire body seemed to stop shaking and turned into that of a statue. Hikaru looked down at Haruhi and flinched at how wide her eyes were.

"…Haruhi?"


	9. The Confession Of The Guilty

"…Haruhi?"

"_Let go!" That scream pierced harshly into Hikaru's heart as he quickly snapped his head around to see Haruhi's wrist tightly held by what looked to be a couple of drunken hobos. Their rough faces had large cuts on them from knife shavings and past fights. Large coats covered baggy shirts that still had price tags on them. _

_The street lights shone directly on the three as the two men tried to pull Haruhi out of the light into the dark alley way. The twins had been walking in front of her out of pure excitement but had stood frozen when they heard her voice screech out. Kaoru quickly turned on his heels and was about to run toward the girl when he caught the bright glimmer of a cold metal gun in one of the men's pockets._

_His eyes widened as he saw Haruhi's hands sling back in order to punch the man, he quickly reached out in shock and screamed for her to stop. She did not hear him however as she clenched her tiny hands into a fist and punched the man's face, making his nose immediately start to swell. Her light blue skirt hit back against her legs as she was practically dropped out of shock. Quickly regaining her stance she nearly fell over again as she found herself face to face with a revolver._

"_That hurt you bitch" The man murmured. The other drunk laughed wildly at the girl's fearful expression. Haruhi tried to back away but he reached out and grabbed her hand once more, causing her to be still; the bullet hole now pressed lightly against her temples. As soon as the cold metal hit her skin Haruhi shivered, her eyes daring to dart over to where she would have thought the twins would be. The only thing in site however was the street lights flickering on and off evenly, a plastic paper bag being carried away by the wind. Neon lights from the bar next door shone with uncertainty, and no car drove by, for the street was still, the black gravel unmoving from it's peaceful spot. Haruhi looked straight back at her attacker, now with serious eyes as she hit the pain and fear that overtook her every move. The twins were gone…they had abandoned her._

"_GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HER YOU BASTARD!" Hikaru and Kaoru screamed as they appeared from behind, a kick delivered to each of the men as they threw wild punches and attacks at Haruhi's muggers. The two men were obviously to drunk to feel pain for they fought back with bleeding wounds that would have normally knocked any man out. Angrily one grabbed Kaoru by the shoulders and threw him down to the cold concrete ground, the impact ripping through his light cloth and exposing his bleeding skin. Kaoru winced and tried to get up, only to have his attacker start to laugh as only an evil man would when faced with an injured child. He stomped on Kaoru's abdomen causing Kaoru to somewhat jump out of pain. His face twisted up as he spit out a red-ish brown substance onto the ground. _

"_KAORU!" Hikaru yelled out as he tried to keep off his own attacker. Hikaru felt himself get pushed into the wall at his moment of weakness as the man's rugged arms pushed against his throat, causing him to become motionless. In what seemed like slow motion the gun was pointed at his baby brother. The attacker did not aim for a vital point however, he wanted to play with his meat before it died, and as Hikaru reached out for Kaoru, his eyes starting to see black dots from lack of air, all he heard was the gun fired out, and the screams of the two people he loved most in this world before he passed out._

'_**I had managed to fool everyone…even myself into believing that was the story…that Kaoru had just died there and I had fainted or done something girlish because of all the blood. However…that wasn't the whole story…and the only blood that made me faint…was the blood that no one could see that tainted my palms…I never meant for things to get so out of hand….I never…I never meant for it to end up like this. Hikaru had passed out and Kaoru was injured…I planned on running for help, screaming, throwing a fit, running into traffic, anything that would get people's attention…but…something happened.'**_

_Haruhi glanced, rather terrified, at the passed out Hikaru. The girl set into action, her feet bouncing off of the street as she started into a run. Her mind was thankfully still working and it told her that if she stayed around Hikaru and Kaoru would only be hurt beyond repair. If she got into a well lit place or among a crowd the drunken men would probably get scared and run off. That was a major probably. This is the kind of thing that her father had taught her, but she had never thought that she might have to put it into action. Things were so out of control already, she didn't know if she could mend it so easily! What if Hikaru was still being choked; or what if Kaoru was bleeding to death while she ran away? Was that really the last image that she wanted her friends to see of her?_

"_Ah" Haruhi gave out a shocked breath as she felt rough hands wrapped around her wrist, which had swung backwards as she ran. The girl flinched and turned her head while she fought to get her thin hand out of his. The man pulled her in, his bright and somewhat crazed eyes glaring at her all the while. Haruhi stood frozen, her bright and scared orbs searching around for some source of protection; a bat, or broken pipe, anything to bat the man off. Finding nothing of use however Haruhi resulted to what her father had taught her, fighting and screaming. Haruhi suddenly brought her knee up with a groan as she started to yell for dear life._

"_HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Haruhi screamed out. She felt her lungs start to burn from her high pitched squeals before she was thrown down onto the ground, hitting her head in the process. Haruhi groaned as she used the strength she still had in her arms to push herself up. Her attacker raised his foot to stomp on her before he was suddenly punched in the back by a familiar looking figure. Kaoru stood, breathing heavily as he held his chest lightly- his other hand still raised from the punch. Haruhi blinked as she looked up at him but quickly stumbled to her feet as the drunk turned around to attack the boy once more. _

"_CUT IT OUT!" Haruhi yelled as she threw her entire body against the man, causing him to fall to the ground. Haruhi fell with him but was quickly picked up by Kaoru whom held her against his chest protectively, one hand holding her to him, the other raised and ready to fight. The man stood, backing up as if he couldn't believe that the boy was even moving. Haruhi's ears picked up the faint sound of a click against the ground but didn't pay much attention to it. However Haruhi stood paralyzed as she felt the blood from Kaoru's wound start to flow onto her t-shirt. How was he so strong? How could he stand up with a hole in his chest and try to protect her, it didn't makes sense to her since even a toddler could figure out that the wound should have kept him paralyzed. It just didn't make logical sense. _

_Haruhi felt Kaoru's grip on her suddenly tighten as his shaking fingers wrung themselves around her T-shirt, pulling it up slightly to expose some of her pale skin on her stomach. Haruhi didn't mind however as Kaoru suddenly flinched, his head flinging down as he coughed onto her. Haruhi closed her eyes as nearly black blood crept down Kaoru's lips and onto her thin shoulder. It glided down like a tear into her chest as Kaoru took in deep breaths before holding his head up high once more. His eyes glistened that night, his already bright orbs sparkling with a look he had never shown before in the moonlight of that alley way. Haruhi stared in admiration before he pushed her out of his grip and behind him, his foot sliding behind him as his arms shifted into a threatening position. _

"_YOU'RE ALL CRAZY!" The man screamed as he ran to his partner whom was leaning against the wall next to a knocked out Hikaru, occasionally prodding the boy with his foot to try and wake him up. This caused Kaoru to suddenly leap forward, only to be held back Haruhi as she held onto his arm as tightly as she could. They needed to stay calm and not let the people get the best of them or the situation would turn out even bloodier. Seeing this stir the young boy's blood the man who had been attacking them slowly bent down, grabbing Hikaru's hair in his hands. Kaoru's eyes widened as a low growl escaped his red lips. _

"_HOW DARE YOU TOUCH A HAIR ON MY BROTHERS HEAD?" Kaoru screamed out, all common sense leaving him as he ripped out of Haruhi's grip and started in a full speed run toward the two men as they laughed and started to torment the unconscious body of Hikaru._

'_**I'm still unsure how on Earth Kaoru was able to move with that hole in his chest…and I'm pretty sure that it can't be explained with science. Maybe, just maybe, it was some type of miracle. Maybe…maybe Kaoru didn't feel any pain when he moved, and was able to save you and me because of that. I've heard of that happening in the heroic tales me mother used to read me. That might be why I was so scared, I was scared that this was one of those stories where the Hero saves the damsel, and dies in her honor. Due to the fact that I was acting as the damsel I knew that whatever happened it was my fault. The only reason you two got hurt was because I was so useless in fighting against them… I couldn't forgive myself for being so stupid, I never think I'll be able too…I suppose that's where some of the guilt comes from. I still go over that night every day, there isn't an hour that doesn't pass that it doesn't pass my mind- especially when **__**that**__** happened…I guess it was when he saw you being picked on Hikaru…I guess that's when things started to get out of hand…'**_

"_Kaoru please!" Haruhi yelled out as she thrust her hands over her mouth in shock at how the boy just ran out of her arms and toward his brother and foes. The men started to laugh a bit as Kaoru's infuriated yellow eyes ran toward them with full intention of killing. One of the men picked Hikaru's body up as the other suddenly gripped onto the orange locks again before he bashed the boy's head against the concrete wall. Kaoru stared in shock as he brought his brother's head back, showing the dribble of blood that slipped down from his forehead down to his nose and chin. _

_They started to laugh harder as they saw the completely shocked look on Kaoru's face, they seemed to enjoy the little toy for they brought Hikaru back, their hands closing in as the other brought out his gun, pointing it at Hikaru's head as he clicked at it menacingly, as if taunting Kaoru to try and do anything about it. He chuckled and threw Hikaru down on the ground, shooting around him with great aim. Kaoru flinched at every shot as he tried to get to his brother, only to be held back by the other mugger. The last bullet was blasted, skinning Hikaru's ribs and reddening his skin as the bullet hit the ground. _

"_YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! I'LL KILL YOU!" Kaoru suddenly screamed as he saw the bullet graze past his brother. Now a bit frightened, the man let go of Kaoru and picked up Hikaru's limp body again. The other pointed the gun at Kaoru as they waited for him to make his move- completely forgetting the girl for the moment. _

_Kaoru leapt forward in an attempt to grab his brother, only to be grabbed by both shoulders and thrown down against the ground. The men laughed and threw Hikaru's body by him as they started to kick and punch at the two without care. Kaoru moaned and tried to pick himself up only to be pushed back down by the men. His face squished against the street Kaoru let out a low scream for the wound in his chest was ripping. The gunshot hadn't hit his heart, just his upper torso, and though he was able to move with it, it cost him dearly in pain. _

"_Ha-ha, whadya say we bury them in the beach and let some little girl find 'em?" One of them asked, their words slurring as he fell slightly onto the other. They laughed together, throwing their hands up in the air in triumph as they watched the youngest twin try and get up again. This seemed to irritate one as he used his foot to throw Kaoru's head back onto the streets cruel gravel. He slowly twisted his foot into Kaoru's scalp as he pressed the boy harder and harder into the small black stones._

"_Don't worry we'll give ya a proper burial…we'll end you're petty little pain…as soon as we're finished making you watch us do the same to you're little girlfriend…" The man laughed out as he gave Haruhi a glance. Haruhi's eyes widened, she had suddenly forgotten that she was in fact there. Her mind was so paralyzed with fear that her entire body stood without response. _

'_**And all of a sudden…I turned from the reason that you two were injured…to the reason that Kaoru was secured into death…'**_

_Kaoru, breathing like he couldn't seem to get air, suddenly pushed his shaking body up as he walked limply toward the man whom was threatening Haruhi. The drunk laughed, finding it rather funny that Kaoru was even trying to get to him. The man started toward the paralyzed Haruhi, grabbing onto her hips, digging his hands into her as he brought her to him. Haruhi seemed to return to Earth as she mumbled and tried to get away from the man. He smelled strongly of beer and blood and it made Haruhi's stomach turn._

"…_get away from her…" Kaoru growled out. His eyes held hate, absolute hate. There were dark and blackened with ill intentions as he started slowly toward the man. Nervous laughter escaped the mugger once more as he held Haruhi a bit tighter to him. Suddenly the man seemed to snap as he thrust his hand into Haruhi's shirt, grabbing onto her ribs tightly. Haruhi let out a yell as she pressed both of her arms down on her attackers arm to try and get him away, however he continued, tauntingly. The man dipped his head down, using a finger to press the tips of Haruhi's shirt down as he kissed her collar bone, harshly biting at the tender skin until it started to bleed._

"_AI!" Haruhi screamed out as she turned her head sharply, her skull hit against the man's making him angry as he threw her down onto the ground once more. She landed on her side, skidding as her head hit a trashcan. Her eyes closed somewhat as she blinked to stay awake. Black dots danced in front of her eyes but she wiped them away with her hands as the girl coughed slightly and attempted to pull her own self back together. _

_Kaoru was on top of the man, punching and kicking at him like he was nothing but a bag. Haruhi stared in horror as blood from the man spurted everywhere, even onto the tips of her legs. She felt like screaming out, like trying to stop him from doing what he was doing. Suddenly Haruhi stood, tears in her bright brown orbs as she sobbed._

"_STOP IT KAORU YOU'LL KILL HIM!" She yelled. Kaoru slipped back into the real world, his raised fist slowly lowering as he turned to her. The boy pushed himself away from the man quickly as though he had put him under some kind of spell. The bloody man was not as dead as Haruhi thought however, for he kicked Kaoru back down to the ground. Grabbing Kaoru by his hair he threw him next to Hikaru's limp body. _

"_You know what's better than watching you're girlfriend get killed? How bout your brother huh? First him, then you, then I can have all the fun I want with 'Miss Brown Eyes' over there." The man snickered out. He nodded to his partner who pointed his gun at Hikaru's body. Haruhi stared, her eyes shaking as the girl found herself slowly walking toward the scene. The man holding the gun clicked it menacingly, once more pointing it straight down at Hikaru's chest. _

_This started a chain that even Kaoru couldn't predict; for as Haruhi watched the boy that she unknowingly wanted to protect be threatened, something snapped in Haruhi's mind. Her blank eyes found a gun that the man had dropped very early into the fight. When he was getting off of the ground it had fallen, causing Haruhi's sharp senses to note it. Haruhi bent down as her hands seized it without hesitation. She raised it and aimed it like she had seen many in the movies do, maybe if she just intimidated them they would knock it off._

"_D-Don't touch him." Haruhi stuttered out. The men slowly turned to her, amused smiles on their faces as they chuckled somewhat._

"…_Drop the gun…now." Haruhi commanded. Her voice was low and dark, hate brewed with every word as she glared daggers at the men, the pistol aimed well as she stood in her position, the only thing giving away her fear was the constant shake of the weapon. The men stared at her, laughing only somewhat for they couldn't tell whether she was serious or not. Kaoru looked up from the ground, one eye now glued shut due to being kicked. He coughed as he tried to whisper something to Haruhi. _

"…_I said drop the gun NOW!" Haruhi demanded. She cocked the gun, letting them know that she was not going to take anymore of their little games. The men looked at one another, before the gun slowly moved from Hikaru to Haruhi. Haruhi didn't flinch, nor did she lower her own weapon. _

"…_little girl I have way better aim than you…now just put the gun down…and go on home…" He teased out._

"…_You've also only got one shot left…and either way, whoever you shoot you're screwed." Haruhi shot back, her hands slowly steadying as she winked one eye to get a better look at where she was aiming. This was her first time shooting a gun and she wanted to do it right if the situation called for it. The man laughed at her logic and placed the gun down at Hikaru since he seemed to be the only one who couldn't fight back._

"_Fine then little girl…you want to see your friend die…I'll see that wish first hand" He cackled out. The man made sure she was watching before he clicked at the trigger. The bullet shot through the air, Haruhi's eyes shot open in terror as she instinctively shot off her own gun as well, tears strolling down her cheeks all the while. Kaoru panicked, rolling over his brother quickly as Haruhi let out a scream for the gun had peeled out a chunk of her flesh. Haruhi fell to the ground as, the bullet ripped through the man's stomach, making his eyes dim as he suddenly started to cough up blood. His gun dropped to the ground as both of his arms wrapped around his wound. _

'_**Kaoru…he took the bullet for you…and I- I think I killed the man that I shot…I don't remember much after that about the men…I'm pretty sure the one took the other and ran off…but my memory is really fuzzy…I remember throwing up a lot…I thought for sure you were dead. But Kaoru suddenly started moaning and I instantly knew what he did. So I hurried over to him…'**_

"_Kaoru!" Haruhi yelled as she wiped off the vomit from her lips. The girl went into a sprint to the two boys as she quickly checked Hikaru over. The blow to the head had really messed with him, for he had still not woken up from his slumber, but there were no bullet wounds on him. Haruhi looked at Kaoru cautiously and held back a new source of vomit as she saw the fresh wound in his leg. She hurried over to his side as Kaoru tilted his head to look at her knees. His shaky hands reached out as he stroked her bare knee gently, a small smile on his dreamy looking face._

"…_oh no Kaoru! Kaoru I'll call the hospital…ah…phone, phone!" Haruhi got up to search for a cell phone from one of the boys, but Kaoru's hands suddenly wrapped around her ankle tightly, pulling her back to him. Haruhi looked down at the boy who had a light blush on his cheek as he pulled his limp body a bit closer to her, his head resting delicately on her shoe. Haruhi felt her eyes water as tears glided down onto him. _

"…_Don't leave…don't leave me…" Kaoru mumbled out as he shut his eyes. Haruhi looked around, it was probably best to go against his wishes and go call someone to get him help- but he looked so helpless. Haruhi sat down, letting him place his head on her knee as she slowly reached out and touched his hair. He smiled at this so she delicately started to run her hands through his locks. _

"_Nn…mom used to do this to us when we were kids…I can't believe it still feels so good" Kaoru whispered, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Haruhi choked back tears as she nodded, continuing the action._

"_O-Oh really?" She asked, holding back sobs._

"…_Yea…I'm sure Hikaru'd love it more if you'd do it…" Kaoru whispered out._

"…_he's going to need somebody to keep him in line when I leave…so…so make sure to be nice ok? He really does have a big…a big crush on you…and now that I can't…be there anymore…he's gonna…gonna need you." Kaoru choked out as he dug his head into her knee, his breathing suddenly becoming soft and unoticable._

"_No-no Kaoru…don't talk like that! I just need to get an ambulance and you'll-"_

"_Shhh…it's ok Haruhi…just promise me ok…promise me you'll take care of my big brother…no matter how stupid he may be." Kaoru whispered sweetly. Haruhi let out a stifle of a cry as she plastered her hands over her mouth, letting each silent tear stroll down onto the ground. Kaoru slowly lifted up his head so that he was looking straight up at her, and she noticed that his own face was covered in a river of crystal like tears. Haruhi shook harder at this and turned her face away as her moans of cries got harder and harder to suppress. _

"_I do-I-I will… I promise Kaoru." Haruhi whimpered out._

"…_there is…one more thing I'd like before I leave too…" Kaoru whispered as he reached up, touching the tip of her cheek gently. Haruhi turned her head back, looking down at him as he smiled. The boy led her confused eyes down to his as he let out a shaky breath before he guided her pink lips onto his own. Haruhi was surprised, but did not pull away and merely let Kaoru be the one to gently nudge her head off of him. Haruhi blinked unknowingly as he laughed._

"_I wanted to at least have my first kiss before I die…but don't let Hikaru know I got you first ok?" Kaoru asked with a giddy smile even as blood dripped down his lips. Haruhi nodded, tears flowing down again as he gave a light chuckle- which soon turned into a harsh cough. While his eyes were closed Haruhi touched her now blood covered lips gently._

"_One more kiss for the road?" Kaoru asked as he smirked again. Haruhi blinked again but found herself leaning down, once more he had to guide her lips to him because she found herself slipping into a somewhat unreal world. She didn't love Kaoru even if he did love her, but who was she to deny him a simple thing like a kiss when he had just taken bullets for her? It wasn't out of pity or out of love…but it was something that she wanted to do…she wanted to let Kaoru know that she cared._

_Haruhi's eyes shot open when she felt his lips suddenly relax and fall back. His hand slowly slid down her cheek before it fell to the ground. His breath upon her skin suddenly stopped, making Haruhi become tenser. The girl looked down at the peaceful, yet unhealthy looking Kaoru. The girl panicked, her hands running down his neck in an attempt to get him to let him know that he was ok. Imagines of her mother, lying in this exact position on her father flashed past her mind yet she tried to throw them aside._

"_Kaoru? SOMEBODY! PLEASE! ANYBODY PLEASE HELP!" Haruhi started to yell out. There was still hope! DAMN IT THERE WAS STILL HOPE! _

"_SOMEBODY! SOMEBODY PLEASE!" Haruhi sobbed out as she held the lifeless Kaoru to her. The girl whimpered and rocked slightly with him as she closed her eyes, tears falling faster than ever before. _

"…_somebody please help him…" Haruhi whispered._

'_**That was when you woke up…and well…you know what happened after that…you saw Kaoru…we went for help…and it was too late…that's when everything started right? So now you know…I accidentally killed your brother…he would still be alive if I hadn't taunted them…dared them to shoot that gun…or even if I had just called the hospital while it was still breathing…I…I don't even know anymore…but I do know…he died…because I was a damsel…because you were unconscious you didn't recall anything that happened. I was scared to talk about that night because…because I was a coward. I didn't know whether the man was dead or not and was afraid that they'd say I committed murder. Little did I know they actually did…against my best friend. After that…I wasn't' sure if you'd believe me if I told you the truth...I was sure you'd hate me either way…so…so I never brought it up…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Hikaru…'**_

"Hikaru- Hikaru!" Haruhi whispered as she shook the sleeping boy's body. He had fallen asleep for some reason after she finished telling him about the incident, and it was already around 2 am or so- he needed to get up to get ready for his flight to America. Though it killed Haruhi a bit to have to prepare him for something she didn't want him to do the girl did it diligently and without much fuss. He would come back, and that's all that she needed to know.

Hikaru opened his eyes sleepily as he blinked up at the beauty that awoke him. He suddenly pulled her into him, catching her off guard as he nuzzled his head into her back comfortingly. He wanted to show her it was all ok and wipe away whatever tears might be on her face- but he was also using her as a pillow for he was still quite tired. Haruhi mumbled something under her breath and pried his hands off of her as she went to go get his things. (The limo driver had dropped the bags off a bit ago and Haruhi had hidden them in her room for safe keeping)

Hikaru slowly stood as his dim eyes looked around for his coat. It was all so much information to take in he must have just passed out. To think that such a thing happened to his baby brother…and he was really the one that stole Haruhi's first-secondish- kiss. Did he love Haruhi as much as he did and just not tell Hikaru? Was he trying to protect him? Hikaru's eyes were on the verge of watering but he wiped it away quickly. Right now he wanted to be strong for Haruhi. It was his first real step to being a man after all. The boy slipped on his coat, which he had found spewed across the living room floor, and took one last glance around for Haruhi.

Haruhi gave him a weak smile as she emerged out of her room, carrying his things. He quickly took them out of her hands as she went and opened the door for his departure. The boy pulled out his cell phone to call the limo driver, but Haruhi reached out, taking it from his hands and folding it in half once more. Hikaru stared for a few moments before Haruhi reached out, taking one bag from him. She switched hands and used her free hand to take his. Haruhi smirked at him and put his cell phone in her pocket.

"…Let's walk there…K? I think that this story's near it's end, and I wanna be there for it." Haruhi whispered to him. Hikaru smiled and nodded, not doubting her judgment once as he started down the stairs of her apartment and too the airport that would ship him off to America for the next few years. Hikaru didn't bother to ask her what Haruhi meant about the last bit, but continued walking. Little did he know the true dangers of the streets at night, and the real fate that would await him that night.

The trip to the airport was that of a simple one, you stayed on one sidewalk, crossed at a few places, skipped over a few bushes, and passed a few bars. Sadly, these few bars just happened to include one that Haruhi and Hikaru never hoped to pass by again. Haruhi thought of all the different routes in her mind and concluded that the only way to get to the airport on time was to pass through it, but she glanced sideways a bit at Hikaru unsure if he was ready. A few blocks a way from it Haruhi stopped, taking the cell phone out of her pocket as she handed it to him.

"If you don't want to go past that place we can just call someone to pick us up Hikaru…it's no big deal. Everything will go back to normal." Haruhi whispered lowly. Hikaru raised a brow at her wording, it almost sounded like she was testing him. Hikaru stared at the cell phone for a long while before he slowly shook his head, his palms suddenly slapping over hers as he gave her the cell phone to put away. If he was going to be a man he had to face this, and now after knowing the truth- he wanted to get over his fear of that place as soon as possible so that he could completely move on.

"…Do you think we'll see **him?**" Haruhi asked a bit fearfully. Hikaru shook his head with a small smile. It was likely that the regular at the bar they were about to pass had found another place to get drunk at because of the incident as well. Meeting him outside of there would be like being struck by lightning.

"Nnn let's go." Hikaru said with a small smile. Haruhi merely nodded and followed after him as he started toward the bar. It was quiet between the two of them as they started past the alley way. Haruhi stopped for a few moment to stare at it, Hikaru's own eyes wandering to the still bloody spots on the walls. They didn't say a word, but stood, looking at the alley as though it was a hidden memorial outside of the bar where people slowly were slipping out. Something in Hikaru's mind told him to keep walking, but he couldn't- so he just stood and stared.

"…I…I' can't believe...yo-you're really here…heh…heh….hehehehehe….stupid little girl…stupid little girl" A slurred voice chimed out. Hikaru turned around immediately to see that a few feet away from Haruhi, was her attacker from only a few weeks before. Hikaru's eyes turned wide, as he reached out for Haruhi's arm, pulling her back. It was time to run, he told himself. How could he have been so stupid as to ignore her fearful words in the first place?

"…you…you killed him you bitch…you shot my BEST FRIEND! NOW HE'LL NEVER FUCKING WAKE UP! You have no idea how long I've waited for this…no idea…I've been coming here…e'ry night just waiting for you to show up- and lookit' this! 'Ere you are right in front of me! God must love me!" The man chuckled out as his blood shot eyes looked at the now frozen Haruhi. His hands moved to his pocket where he held his gun, his eyes seeking the revenge that he now lusted for. Hikaru wasn't much help for as he tried to pull her to run he found his own legs couldn't move.

"…he can't have a life anymore…so…so neither can you!" The man screamed, his fury taking over him as he pulled out the gun, his fingers firing it without thought or regret. Haruhi closed her eyes, she tried to move but found that she almost couldn't run far or fast enough to escape it. Thunder seemed to crack in Hikaru's mind as he suddenly grabbed onto Haruhi's shoulder. There was a storm going on in his mind, and to him, Haruhi had waited long enough. He needed to protect her. The bullet shot through the air and the storm suddenly ended.

"Unf" A sudden groan of pain snapped Haruhi's eyes open as she stared at Hikaru's back. Defying all logic and laws that she had known the girl watched in terror as the bullet that had been aimed for her, sunk through Hikaru's heart and to his back, clinking harmlessly in front of her. Haruhi's eyes watered as she tried to think, so…so Hikaru had…had jumped in front of her?

Sirens wailed in the background of her mind, and footsteps of the shooter suddenly took off. Many people were around them, looking horrified and as paralyzed as she was. Haruhi started to shake horrible as Hikaru swaggered some, his hand holding onto his chest as blood dripped down his mouth. He fell backwards and onto Haruhi, making her have to spread her legs and hold up her arms to support his weight. Camera's flashed all around her from people's picture phones but she didn't even notice. The world was black at the moment and the only thing that was real was the fact that Hikaru was dying in her arms.

Whimpers escaped her as she fell due to his nearly dead weight. She guided his head as gently as she could to her lap as she sobbed, digging her head into his hair. The ambulance and cop cars weren't too far away, for even she could hear their annoying tones and sirens coming down the street. Haruhi grabbed onto Hikaru's hair tightly as she sobbed into him, knowing his fate all to well.

"…Hikaru…" Haruhi whispered, hoping to get a response from him. "…Hikaru?"

The girl, tired and broken, kissed every part of the top of his head as she started to sob harder due to the fact that he wasn't responding to her. She took in deep breaths and started to run her fingers through his long locks before she tried again.

"…Hikaru…Hikaru please say something…" Haruhi whispered painfully. Hikaru's eyes stayed somewhat closed as she lifted her head off of his own. He continued to bleed and his hands were twitching unhealthily. His face was becoming paler and as she stroked her hands down him his body felt like ice to her touch. Haruhi took in a deep breath once more, letting out a shuddered sob as she pulled him to her. People stared, many women started to cry into their husbands shoulders, and a few threw up do to the blood in a trashcan. But all felt a tear in their heart as Haruhi cried out for him.

Why did those men have to harass her that night? Why did Kaoru have to die, and why did she have to fall so hard, why did Hikaru have to get in a fight with his parents, why did they both want to come down this street, and oh lord why, why did Hikaru have to jump in front of that bullet and not let her pay for her sins?

"HIKARU!" Haruhi screamed out, her fingertips suddenly grabbing onto his hands as she brought them up to her face, her eyes squinting in her sobs as her chest heaved up and down with open sorrow.

"…I'll miss you Hikaru…" Haruhi whimpered out. "…but…it's time for this story to end." Haruhi whimpered out as she kissed his forehead, not lifting her lips from him.

But Hikaru didn't answer, and only let his love for her bleed through his heart.


	10. The Beginning And The End

It was dark- really dark. In fact, if Hikaru could say the type of color that it was in front of him, it would have been a bazillion shades darker than black. He didn't even know that was possible, but once again, reality had shut his thoughts down and replaced them with truth. There was no light source and he felt that he was extremely cold, as if a soft breeze was floating past him. There was an irritating beeping going on that made him want to thrust his hands over his ears.

However he couldn't move his arms, or yell, or tell someone to turn the racket down, so a small problem arose. As Hikaru found himself getting more and more of a headache from the constant beeps and robotic noises he felt himself being moved against what seemed to be an air like bed. He felt sheets being tampered with underneath him as they scratched against his legs, causing him to feel what seemed to be pain.

Hikaru felt his body flinch as his bandage wrapped leg was moved by gentle hands. He tried to open his eyes but found that it was nearly impossible. So Hikaru decided to listen to the sounds around him and try and get a feel of what was going on. Faint conversation drifted in the air as Hikaru struggled to make out the very slurred words.

"Excuse me Mam, as soon as you're finished with this patient would you mind taking the next floor and cleaning out their bedpans?" A smooth voice suddenly called out. The voice was calm and a bit cocky, but wasn't met with a figure. Something shifted near him causing his blanket to move up as warm hands suddenly touched Hikaru's skin. Tired moans met Hikaru's ears as, what he figured to be a sleepy body, was shaken awake.

"You'll have to excuse me; will you be alright by yourself?" This was a new voice to Hikaru's head. It belonged to a female this time for it was high pitched and seemed to be dipped in silk. Light started to enter into his eyes, but it was dim and came from straight above him in a sort of a harsh glare. Obviously the body next to him had given some type of reply with their head or hands, for he listened to the woman's feet walk out of the room. Hikaru sniffed the air- it smelled of rubbing alcohol and a scent that he couldn't quite place- but it was strong and although it didn't stink he hated it. For some reason it made him want to sneeze.

Hikaru sneezed cutely, sending his body bolting up as his eyes were forced open. Light flooded in, now blinding his eyes with white instead of black. Hikaru moaned and placed his hands over his eyes, carping over the fact that the light was burning his eyes and his muscles were so sore. He heard a small gasp beside him as his bed was pushed to the side, most likely out of shock by the person sleeping beside him. Hikaru groaned and held onto the bed tightly as he blinked and looked over to see who it was beside him. Of course he expected a nurse or even Haruhi to be besides her, but instead he was faced with a shocked tan face and a bright head of orange hair.

"Dad?" Hikaru whispered as he rubbed his eyes, the boy looked away from the blurry face, of which he was pretty sure belonged to his father since he was the only with orange hair like him. Things started to come into focus as Hikaru realized where he was. He was sitting on a hospital bed, the light blue walls blended lightly into the off-white curtains and bed sheets. The smell of medication and bandage glue stung the air heavily as he coughed a bit, his chest suddenly stinging with a fire. Hikaru placed his hands over his chest and looked around to see if his father had left- it had been too quiet in the room. He stared at an open jawed Kaoru and shrugged it off before he slipped his feet out of bed and- wait- KAORU?

"AH FUCK IM DEAD!" Hikaru said quickly as he panicked and threw his hands over his head. He wasn't ready to be dead! There was so much that he had left to do! What about Haruhi, had he really left her all alone! He didn't mean too! Oh God, all he wanted to do was protect her and now he was here, dead! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Hikaru slammed himself out of bed, pulling the IV attached to his wrist with him as he paced unhealthily, all the while Kaoru stared at him in shock.

"Hi-hikaru you're n-not dead!" Kaoru finally stuttered out, finally grasping the situation as he tried to walk over to his Brother. Hikaru mumbled under his breath as he held his head tightly. The boy turned back to Kaoru and pointed a shaking finger at him.

"Yea but you are! So I'm not dead, just crazy- GREAT!" Hikaru ended with a high pitched voice as he went back to hitting his head against the wall. Kaoru grabbed onto his shoulder and turned him around as gently as he could so that Hikaru wouldn't hurt himself anymore. Hikaru stifled a cry as he felt his hands on his shoulder, this felt so real, and he was so confused, the boy suddenly leaned over and held onto his brother tightly. If he could hold him for now he would.

"…Hikaru I was so worried." A teary eyed Kaoru whispered as he leaned onto his brother gently, wrapping his arms around him as well. Hikaru nodded slightly. Was Kaoru here to watch over him until he got well? He was so warm though, it almost felt like his brother was back here with him. The man took in a soft breath, inhaling the sweet scent of sweat and- cinnamon? Were angels supposed to smell like that? Hikaru lifted his head up as he continued to grip onto Kaoru's arms with a fierce fear. He didn't want Kaoru to go and leave him again- he didn't want his baby brother to slip away.

"…Don't leave me." Hikaru muttered. Kaoru let his head fall to the side, making it seem like Kaoru was really the confused one. Hikaru blinked somewhat as the door to the room opened and the nurse walked in and out of the room easily. Suddenly she rushed back in, finally noticing that Hikaru was out of bed. She held the same reaction as Kaoru did and just stood there for a few moments, jaw hitting the floor as she pointed a shaky finger at him.

"Sir you-you're not d-dead!" The nurse stuttered out. Hikaru laughed a bit nervously and shook his head. The nurse looked to him, then at Kaoru, and then back to Hikaru in a very blonde like manner. Something was going on that Hikaru wasn't getting. The girl rushed over to Kaoru, grabbing onto his other arm as she tugged at the end of his shirt.

"Wh-whats he doing up!" She suddenly asked Kaoru. That was when Hikaru suddenly went from confused, to hysterical. What the hell was the nurse talking to his ghost Kaoru for? Hikaru felt jealously stir up inside of him as he put his arms around Kaoru once more, pulling him to his chest as he peered over Kaoru's shoulder at the nurse. Was she an angel too? Hikaru put his head on Kaoru's shoulder while he held the boy close to him, no touchy his baby brother ghost-y…

"Ah- sorry to intrude! I'll get the others! They'll be glad to hear the news!" The nurse giggled out. Hikaru sighed and fell back onto a chair as he looked up at Kaoru. All he wanted was someone to tell him what the hell was going on, was that so hard now? Kaoru, reading his brothers mind as he often did when he was alive, bent down and took Hikaru's hand in his own gently.

"…Haruhi will be glad to see you're ok." Kaoru whispered with a small smile as he ran his fingers down Hikaru's hands. Hikaru nodded a bit, finally, the one woman that he did understand- Haruhi. Hikaru gave a breath of relief at even the small thought of her. When did he become so dependant on her? When did she suddenly go from his best friend to his one and only? When had this slow and steady change mess with his insides and turn them until everything suddenly seemed alright for a minute at her gentle smile?

"I don't want anyone else…just…just Haruhi…" Hikaru stuttered out. Kaoru's eyes widened a bit but he slowly nodded and he crept a bit sadly out of the room to go find the nurse. Hikaru moaned again and ran his hands through his hair as he sat in the chair thoughts running through his head as the boy ran his tongue over the cracked lips. He suddenly felt so tired and much more sore than he remembered. The clock on the wall ticked away without a care as Hikaru tapped his feet nervously against the noisy tile.

"Hikaru?" A soft voice suddenly called out. Hikaru's head popped up, he looked like a puppy whose name had just been called by its master as the boy suddenly jumped off of the chair, tipping it over as ran over to the woman that had appeared at the door. Her large brown hair flew off of her ears and shoulders as he hugged her fragile body to his. He felt her become tense as she let him hug her, though her own arms didn't wrap around him. He wasn't sure if it was for fear of hurting him, or whether she just wasn't reacting, however right now it didn't really matter to him.

Haruhi's hands tenderly wrapped over his shoulders with a bit of hesitation as she half hugged him with her fingertips pressing against his back gently. Hikaru dug his entire being into her; it felt like so long since he had felt her against him like this. It seemed almost as if it had been an eternity.

Haruhi slowly pulled away, her hand brushing off of his shoulder like a feather as she slowly sat down in a chair. He blinked at her and ran both of his hands through his hair to try and calm himself down. His chest burned badly and standing on his left leg was giving him too much trouble, so he in turn sat down as well before he looked back down at the ground.

"Haruhi I'm…I'm confused" Hikaru finally admitted as he rubbed his temple like she often did. His hands weren't as soft as hers however and didn't manage to get him into that calm state. Hikaru's leg twitched unhealthily as he looked down at the ground once more. Haruhi was so quiet it almost seemed to scare him. Hikaru flinched as he bit his lip, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes together painfully as he let out a shaky breath, taking in a soft sob.

"…I'm so confused." He muttered. Hikaru scraped his forehead with his fingernails as he suddenly threw his fist against the wall. He felt the cheap wall dent underneath his fist as he felt his body start to shake once more. His entire torso dove down; his face hit the edge of the chair as his fist hit the ground limply. Hikaru heard Haruhi's chair scoot as she got up. Her feet became larger as she headed over to him. Her hand ran down his neck and back lightly as he sobbed.

"…this is going to be hard to hear Hikaru…but we were attacked…you…Kaoru…and I…we were attacked." Haruhi whispered as she stopped consoling him. Hikaru looked up at her, he nodded somewhat before taking her hands in his own. His head fell again as he kissed the top of her hand.

"I know Haruhi, then Kaoru got shot and-" He suddenly noticed Haruhi's grip on his hands tighten as she leaned in, letting her head rest in front of his own so that he could look into her eyes. She was concerned and he could tell. Had he said something wrong? Haruhi's bright brown orbs stared into his as she rubbed his hands tenderly.

"…Hikaru. Kaoru didn't get shot. You did." Haruhi put simply. She seemed like she was talking to a five year old. Hikaru sighed, not knowing why Haruhi was making such a big deal of this. Didn't she understand what he was trying to ask? He knew that he had gotten shot, and he was slightly amazed that he had in fact not died from it.

"I know I know, but….Har-Haruhi…he's here. I know how crazy it sounds but Kaoru…he's here! Even though he's dead…I…I heard him…I've been hearing him for a while, in my dreams when I'm walking, and now- now I've seen him! Haruhi I think I'm gonna die! I really think that's why he's here!" Hikaru suddenly called out as he started to shake in fear. He didn't want to die, he really didn't. He wasn't ready to leave yet! Haruhi suddenly blinked before pushing the bangs off of his head.

"…Hikaru…Kaoru isn't dead. When those men attacked me Kaoru got knocked out. They went to shoot me and you…you jumped in front of me. They were horrible men. Even though you were near death they went and shot you again. They came after me, and in a last attempt effort I shot one of them." Haruhi softly whispered as she looked back down at the ground. Hikaru was now more confused than he had ever been in his entire life. Haruhi was supposed to make things clear, but his vision was becoming even more hazy.

"…Huh?" Hikaru finally asked as he let his head fall to the side in confusion. Haruhi, seeing this face, blushed and looked back away. She held Hikaru's hands again before giving out a soft sigh. She was obviously trying to think of the words to tell him of the story. It must have been hard to deal with the boy in such a state. The woman suddenly pulled her hands away, and crossed her arms to think.

"You've been in the hospital ever since. If I remember it's been around a few weeks or so. You were in a coma like sleep, everyone thought that you were going to die because your condition slowly got worse each day. It was weird though, you seemed almost happy- then you'd cry- or smile."

"It was if you were dreaming, almost as if that dream was sucking you in. That was until last night, your wound suddenly reopened in your chest. We thought that was a bad thing, but it turns out that your wound started healing on it's own, and your life started coming back. Just this morning I saw some red on your cheeks. Kaoru's been near you this whole time, trying to talk to you and such. He even let you listen to your beloved Mp3 player." Haruhi said, suddenly laughing as she put her fingers to her lips, before pointing to the Ipod on the desk.

"He said it would speed up your recovery." Haruhi finished. She didn't even notice the look on Hikaru's face as he covered his head with spread out fingers. There was no way! Why would Haruhi play with his head like this? Was she really saying that everything had been a dream in his coma state?

"Wait…you said my wound reopened last night?" Hikaru suddenly asked. He didn't lift his head from his hands, but only waited for Haruhi to answer his question. She didn't answer with words, but merely nodded, seeming almost too cool and calm for the situation.

"…so dying in my dream…let me live in this world?" Hikaru slowly muttered to himself. Haruhi's head perked slightly as he talked to himself. She asked him something, but he couldn't answer her. He only stared at the floor with eyes that held a mixture of regret, happiness, tears, and fear. Haruhi walked back over to him, seeing that he was not in fa t alright.

"Hikaru?" Haruhi asked gently. Hikaru suddenly threw his head up, his hands grabbing her wrist. He stared at her, her small frame, her face- now full of fresh bruises and cuts- and those small pink lips that he had longed to kiss ever since he got his taste of them. Her brown orbs looked a bit taken off guard, but he merely stared up at them. She held a look of confusion and unsure worry. She hadn't ever seen him cry and worst off she probably didn't even know why.

Hikaru suddenly choked down a whimper as he looked at the wall. Those eyes didn't lie. This was the first time she had seen him in such a weak state, this was the first time that he had ever held her hands like he did now, and she had never felt his lips upon her own.

"No way! That wasn't a dream! It couldn't be! Haruhi it was so real! I felt everything, I felt my own tears, and your skin was just as soft as it is now. I even dove in front of a bullet for you! I felt it! I really did! I'm not crazy, please! Please believe me!" Hikaru nearly screamed out. Haruhi stared at him for a little while before slipping her hands out of his. She went over and grabbed a chair with a bruised wrist, before dragging it in front of him. She sat down and crossed her hands over her lap.

"…I believe you Hikaru…it's ok…tell me about the drea-….experience." Haruhi whispered encouragingly. Hikaru pouted at her, was she telling the truth? Did she really want to hear his side of the story? She didn't think he was crazy or confused? Hikaru didn't dare look away from her eyes for they told him more truth than he could ever get by himself. He slowly nodded and brought his knees up on the chair. It was going to be a long day.

And so Hikaru told her everything, from page one to the end of the story, though he left out the parts that would even insist that he was in love with her. So really, instead of entrusting his feelings with the one that he had obsessed over after Kaoru's death, he lied. Haruhi was understanding of everything though, she simply nodded, and he swore he even caught a glimpse of water in her eyes as he described the agonizing feeling of watching Kaoru's death in front of his own eyes.

"Hikaru didn't you think it was strange that you actually saw the flashback just by the few details that I gave you though?" Haruhi asked raising an eye brow at him. Hikaru suddenly became tense and blushed, throwing his eyes back down at the floor. He really hadn't thought about things like that. In fact…now it was kinda making sense why he could see what was going on with Haruhi when he wasn't even near her. His blush became a deep red however as she continued to nit pick at his sad portrayal of reality.

"Besides, no matter how sweet that death of yours was. Don't you think that's kind of pathetic that somehow the man that killed your brother was waiting outside the bar for me? Plus don't you have any sound trust in our police force? Wouldn't it be more logical that they wouldn't go after me, and after the better clues that they would have gotten off of the crime scene? I mean, the two men that jumped us are already in custody. Besides- no matter how cruel the fan girls may be, I'm fairly sure they wouldn't be able to put up a stunt like the one you mentioned." Haruhi muttered.. Hikaru felt a sweat drop fall down his head. Sometimes he really wished that Haruhi didn't have to be so logical.

"Besides Hikaru! Your father lives in Japan!" Haruhi finally busted out. Hikaru bit his lip and put his hand over her mouth. It was pretty sad how he had not even realized all of the faults in his life with the alter Haruhi. He sighed and leaned his forehead against Haruhi's. So this was really the real thing huh? He was back to his 'normal' life, and would most likely be heading back to the normal routine. That meant no more bonding time with Haruhi and more fighting for her love with five others.

So now all he head to do was figure out whether the situation was what manipulated Haruhi's feelings into his favor, or whether that was what she hid underneath those beautiful eyes as well. Or maybe he had just imagined up all of those confessions and kisses to suit his taste? No…that was real. He knew that was real. Someday, someday soon, he would tell her how he felt. He would tell her on the day that it would make her happy to hear it. Right now things would be a bit hard for her to know his feelings inside, and so he would keep it to himself.

When the time came, he would know.

He wouldn't burden her any longer.

"…I'm sorry…I guess it's just been so long since I was able to bug you about weird stuff like this. We really…we really all thought that you were a goner. I felt so horrible." Haruhi whispered seriously. Hikaru felt himself come out of his dream room as he smiled. The boy reached over and rubbed the top of her head gently. Haruhi looked up with teary eyes her hands still attached to her lips nervously. Hikaru blushed even deeper than he thought possibly and twitched angrily. Maybe he would burden her one more time. Hikaru slowly took her hands off of her lips and leaned down, snatching her lips.

The door slammed open and a bunch of sounds like whimpering and fake crying escaped from the hallway.

Hikaru rolled his eyes and leaned away to stare at a very present and still annoying Tamaki. He was still in shock, pointing his finger at Haruhi and Hikaru. Hikaru sighed and rubbed his temple, so troublesome that one was. He smirked and looked back at Haruhi, kissing her forehead as he patted her hair gently.

"Ah! It's nice to see you too Grandma!" Hikaru called out happily. Well he was in a hospital, and believed to have gone to another dimension, why not reap the benefits of being crazy? Tamaki didn't seem satisfied but he didn't hit the boy, he merely ran off, screaming something along the lines of 'MY POOR DEFLOWERED DAUGHTER'. Haruhi blinked, trying to think of a reason that he had suddenly kissed her out of the blue. She didn't buy the crazy excuse, which he didn't really expect her believe anyways.

"Uhh…Hikaru. I'm…I'm gonna go get something to drink." Haruhi suddenly whispered as she got out of the chair she was sitting in and headed out of the door. She didn't look angry, or sad, or happy really. He couldn't read her emotions, but for the moment it didn't matter. He had plenty of time to learn how to read her, just as she learned to tell the two twins apart.

Hikaru smiled to himself before looking back up at the doorway. A rather scared looking Kaoru stood, hugging his hands against the doorframe before he took a tender step in. Hikaru blinked, before realizing that he must have freaked Kaoru out before knowing that he was alive. Hikaru let out a big mouthed smile as he looked at the boy in front of him. His skin wasn't pale, there was a huge amount of sparkle in his eyes, and his limbs were most defiantly moving. The sun shined outside, and he felt a little better than he ever thought possible. Hikaru suddenly let out a childish laugh before bursting into a run at his brother. Kaoru let out a small shriek as Hikaru wrapped his arms tightly around his brother, sending them both to the ground.

"I LOVE YOU KAORU!" He yelled out with such great enjoyment that tears actually leaked out of his eyes as he laughed. Kaoru stared at his brother before he slowly nodded and wrapped his arms, relieved, around his brother. Kaoru closed his eyes and dug his head into his brother before slowly letting go. Hikaru noticed that his eyes were looking at something over Hikaru's shoulder. Hikaru turned his head and noticed that Haruhi was standing at the soda machine. Her head leaned against the glass, her eyes were peacefully closed, and her hands were resting against her sides in her pockets.

"…Go ahead. I'll go see when they'll let you out, since you seem so full of energy." Kaoru laughed out. There seemed to be pain in his sentence somewhere though. Hikaru looked down at his brother. Did he make up his feelings for Haruhi in his dream too? He couldn't understand his brothers reasoning for holding back that almost obvious look of love from his brother's view, but there was a reason.

'…_he's probably trying to protect me…' _Hikaru whispered in his mind as he sighed and nodded before getting off of his brother. Kaoru rubbed his shoulder and nodded before walking toward the main desk. Hikaru took this as his cue and headed over to the girl. Haruhi looked back over at him before giving off a light smile. Hikaru leaned against the wall, his own hands fussing with the slip in his medical gown. He had never been so happy about having boxers on in his life. He stared at the almost polka dot, but not quite square pattern on the light blue slip before turning his head back to Haruhi. He wanted to start up conversation, but didn't know how.

"…Haruhi I've always wondered, you didn't know us for very long before you figured out how to tell me and Kaoru apart. As smart as you are I find that's rather odd unless you were like secretly stalking us or something. Which I wouldn't blame you for! We are naturally charismatic." Hikaru slipped out. Haruhi blinked for a few moments before giggling and turned back over to him. It took her a few moments before she softly answered-

"…**I never make the same mistake twice."**

Haruhi turned from him, her slender back facing him as she let out a great sigh. Hikaru was nearly dumbfounded by her answer as he twisted his face together in an attempt to recall a time when they had ever played with Haruhi the 'Which Ones Hikaru Game' and won. Nothing came up however, and instead of letting Hikaru ponder on his thoughts- Haruhi stuck out her hand as she turned a bit to face him.

"…you must be starving. I can take you to the cafeteria if you'd like." Haruhi whispered. Hikaru stared at her hand for a bit. Besides the fact that he was not in fact hungry, and the thought of anything in his stomach made him want to throw up, Hikaru slowly put out his hand. Haruhi intertwined his fingers with his own, thought it was different from before. She seemed almost like a mother, taking his hand in such a way only to make sure he didn't get lost. However Hikaru smiled, his eyes draping halfway.

That beautiful hand…such soft fingers rubbing against his own. That hand that would lead him through much more than he could ever imagine. That hand that wouldn't only take him where he needed to go, but would lead him without a fuss. That hand…that would lead him toward a better future- just as it had always done before….

"…Thank you…Haruhi" Hikaru whispered.

"You say something?" Haruhi asked.

"…Nope! Now let's go get some food! I'm starving!" Hikaru laughed out as they started down the hall way. He let her lead him with a large smile as he laughed and scooted closer to her.

"Hey Haruhi can we get some cookies? You like cookies right?"

"No, too sweet."

"What if I eat it off of you?"

"…No…."

"You're such a fun spoiler Haruhi"

"Well then go find someone else to lead you around!"

"Ahhhh waaaaaiiiiitttttt Harrruuuhhiii! I'm injured remember! Saved your life! AHH! COME BACK! STOP RUNNING!"

It was at that moment that Hikaru realized that it wouldn't be so bad starting the story over again.


End file.
